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Dream big? If only I knew how!
I am astounded at how my past stops me from dreaming big.
We visited a friend last week who lives close to Auckland on a property that is out of this world.
There is a stunning view over beautiful native bush towards the hills and of course a bush track to their own stream.
Every time I see such properties I am still amazed that I didn’t buy one when we arrived here from Holland twenty six years ago.
But I finally figured it out why we didn’t buy one.
The reason is my past . . .
Why???
Because I come from this.
Large blocks of apartment buildings with hardly any gardens at all.
Sitting in my apartment I dreamed of a ‘little’ garden as that was all I could see possible.
Only the rich and famous could afford sizable gardens, so I couldn’t even begin to dream up a largish garden.
But I could hold the vision of a tiny garden without getting a fright about wanting too much.
And with that dream from my past I came to New Zealand.
While I adjusted the time zone, I failed to adjust the scale of my dreams.
So when we went looking for a place to live, the more stunning properties didn’t even register on my radar screen.
I was totally blind to them.
We could have afforded one and yet I don’t recall ever contemplating looking at one of those.
But somehow these properties have now become visible, I see them and I want one.
My perception of what is possible has changed.
My past has stopped blurring my vision.
The Landmark Forum is where I first heard about the past and its power over my life.
They said; “Our past is a recipe for creating more of the same.”
I actually never understood that well. At an intellectual level, maybe.
But it took me a long time to become aware what it really meant and to see that my past had such a big impact on what I chose in life and what I go for.
But my relatively small gardens to date are proof that my past played a big part when I was buying a house.
My then Dutch eyes did only go for houses with Dutch sized gardens.
So from now on I won’t let the past stop me from dreaming big, right?
I wish . . .
John just caught me the other day . . .
John wants me to write as he can see that writing contributes hugely to our projects.
Most days I sit behind the computer writing dutifully about things John wants me to write about.
But when he declares in public to people: “Wilma is a writer and the stories she will publish will make a difference”, I go in shock.
When we are home I tell him; “You cannot declare me a writer. I haven’t got a book to my name and worse my marks at high school were terrible.”
It took John some time to make me see what I was doing here.
I again have my past stopping me from seeing myself as a serious writer who does contribute heaps to our projects.
Although I am writing, as soon as it is declared big, I get a shock and back off and disregard the possibility of me being a great writer contributing hugely.
All I see are my school marks . . .
. . . and the scorn on my brothers’ and teacher’s face; “What, Wilma a writer????”
No gold there.
My gardens are obviously becoming bigger but my writing is still kept small by my past of bad marks and humiliations.
What if I was more daring and outrageous and see myself as an accomplished writer . . .
And what about you, what could you dream bigger now you come to think of it . . .
15 Comments to “Dream big? If only I knew how!”
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Great Wilma to see you in print declaring yourself as a writer.
This is how I do it. When I decided to become a ‘business coach’, I started doing things consistent with what a business coach does, which was to meet with business owners and talk about their business in an intentional way. Then I simply declared what I was doing, I’m a ‘business coach’. Am I qualified to declare that I am a ‘business coach’. Yes because I was doing it. I was doing business and I was doing coaching conversations.
If we are doing something ‘now’ then it is valid to declare what we are doing. Wilma is ‘doing’ writing most days. And Wilma publishes, as well as on her blog, on our Trek Education
and Lifestyle Sailing websites and I’m dreaming of Wilma’s first book being for sale on Amazon.
What are you ‘doing’ that you are not declaring because of your past?
Wilma, it is so true ! I /maybe we all, are allowed to form a dream, into a vision and work on this so that as John says it is part of my /our immediate reality – not only I can but rather: I AM in this vision of real reality. And I’ve had the passport rights in my possession B4…
So here we all are eh.
And its not so bad as it was eh..!
LIVE NOW as our Sally Anderson says – well she sure told me.
Bestest,
Beth.
So true Wilma! Another great blog – I am inspired by your thinking and impressed that you come up with such thought provoking material week after week. Go Girl!
g
Yeah Beth, we might finally grow into our big shoes….
Thanks Graham, great encouragement for my perturbations…glad to share them so they might eventually evaporate…
Thanks for sharing, Wilma.
When people ask me “So, what do YOU do?” I don’t hesitate to declare myself a “mother”, after all that’s what I’ve been doing for a good six years and there’s no questioning there. I still don’t declare myself a “healer” or an “artist”.
My story that’s keeping myself small?
My only reference point from the past for a healer is some guy like Jesus resurrecting the almost dead and for an artist someone like Picasso…no wonder I struggle…
Not feeling good enough to declare myself in public- I’m simply scared of the doubts and criticalness I expect in response.More of the past…
It would be wonderful to announce myself a healer and an artist and simply allow myself to make mistakes…stepping into a bigger domain and acknowledge that there are some unknowns on the way- and welcome them!
The healing room has got the first coat of paint on, within two weeks I am opening the doors to the public!
Much love to you and thank you for your honesty,it’s inspiring!
Ylia
HI Wilma
Great post, thanks – and I agree; you go girl!
I already believe you’re a writer, so there you go. You have a great ‘voice’ to share with us your insights… and I love your observation and example of how we can be ‘blinkered’ to possibilities in our lives.
So I’m off to dream bigger…
Thanks Wilma for your comments, they certainly got me thinking and I can really see the benefits in joining in on these conversations on your blog. Often I just read them knowing full well that I have something to say but seldom do I take the time to write.
You have actually hit on one of my favourite topics, although this is probably not that obvious. That topic is the invisible. The “whats going on here that I cant see” conversation.
Our limitations in life are just conversations we are having right now using evidence given by the past. This is easy enought to understand on a conceptual level but a lot harder to identify moment to moment. Unless we watch ourselves constantly and observe what the little voice is saying in our heads we will remain in the “this is the way it is ” trap. I recently had an experience that has given me a powerfull look into our limitations. I went to a seminar where we were required to break a piece of pine board. All of the boards were the same but the mind sets breaking them were not. There were little old ladies busting through the board and grown men struggleing to break it. You could see that the people breaking the board were focused beyond the board and the people that could not break it were focused on the board. It was also painful for those who did not break it and they were often reluctant to try again to break it. It became apparent to me that what you focus on you get. Those who focus on their limitations will hit their limitations and often with painful outcomes making them want to stop trying.
Something Stephen Covey says is to start with the end in mind. It would then make sense to keep that end in your focus. I have been doing this lately with tremendous results. I have managed to bring a little of the invisible into the visible and once you see it, it remains. Something to think about…….
Yes, Wilma’s stories winkle into my thinking about myself, almost without me realising it……subversive!
I have been away, July, in Germany absorbing major shows of International art and architecture. Swimming in that soup for a month has had me realise that I too am a maker of images, and that getting those objects and images out into public places is how I communicate with the world.
In my past, my little (head) voices have babbled away informing me “:I’m not good enough”, “the places that should show my work will never………”.
Result…..lethergy and “what’s the point” conversations.
I feel enlivened and strangely confirmed as ARTIST myself by having witnessed the works others have put out there to communicate with us all…… for me to see and wonder and ponder over.
And I am re-enrolled in Landmark Education’s Communication and Access to Power course to immerse myself again in how much my past and my limits on future influence my talking and my actions.(By the way, they now have a website where one can check out new Online Introduction to The Landmark Forum – )
Thanks Wilma and John for keeping talking out.
And for Birthday greetings.
jude
Wow guys, cool comments
I start with Ylia, I so see how ‘mother’ is something you can declare with pride and how ‘healer’ or ‘artist’ is getting you….however I have seen you being courageous before Ylia and I know you can break through this one, with your friends….and me. I still so love the sculpture you made for me….better than a Picasso…..
Hey Fiona, I cannot go wrong with friends like you. You were one of the first who said you liked my voice….I made you shout it though over and over again…..and you did it one more time today..thanks pal…
Boyd, was I one of the little old ladies who broke the plank?
From now on I will be. It is fantastic how you shared that just a conversation is stopping us and makes things either invisible or visible….and I am watching how you and Monica go for it…we do need people like you to make us see……
Jude, you are such a cracker and I am sooo pleased you had a good time AND re-asserted yourself as the great artist that you are…and yes Landmark is a fantastic vehicle to get your voice in line with your heart, your spirit and your genius..
I am so proud to know you and I too love your art on my walls…..Quote from ‘Love without End’ ; “beauty/art is a landmark along the pathway of spirit” and “art represents harmony with the oneness of spirit.”
Declare yourself an artist and never to forget it again….
I will take a leaf out of my own book because of all your comments……
Very interesting subject this. Being on the topic of writing, this is something that I have been told I am good at by John, Wilma and others from L&Y. What Boyd said back there regarding Stephen Covey’s beginning with the end in mind approach makes a lot of sense to myself. After John and I had discussed the skill I can utilize around writing I instantly switched over to the end result, which is having a huge worldwide online community where people visit my blog regularly. I envision all the subjects I am interested in that I can share with others and how everyone is simply sharing and making a difference to others lives. Of course the past could enter at this point to say that I should not share myself openly with others. (I just suddenly remembered the “stranger danger” phrase from primary school, and that has worked its way into adulthood with marvelous results hehe.) The past definately comes up here as you can walk down a street with a hundred people coming the other way and everybody looks down. This is particularly evident with the amazing abundance of public interacting on display that Aucklander’s excel in. But this is the stuff that I have learned as a child, to be stingy. To elaborate on what Boyd was saying, keep your end in mind bigger than your excuses that are the thorns of the past. I constantly envision a site for honest sharing based on love and human interaction. This excites me and despite peoples training in non interaction, our hearts light up when someone shares and leads the way. That “why” is far bigger than the much easier access I have to being stingy.
Great stuff Blair and yes, welcome to writerhood!