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Learning takes courage and you knew that, didn’t you?
Courageously choosing for this environment has done miracles for me. Pukeko birds on our driveway.
Learning to live a sustainable different lifestyle is a scary business and paying attention to the environment you are in, is imperative if you really want to learn and become the change you want to see.
Why am I saying this?
Because we all have book cases full of books with exciting content about how we can live a joyful and healthy life; so why then are many of us NOT living that promised healthy and free life?
Or when we are seriously trying to change are we having a joyful exciting ride or do we find ourselves engaged in a fearful and difficult business, often taking one step forward and going back two?
So what is going on?
To explain that let me introduce how learning works based on ‘The Biology of Belief’ by Bruce Lipton Ph.D.
Bruce explains that our environment is crucial to learning and he developed this concept from his work in cell biology.
Lets see how this applies with a story about my learning and my environment.
Here I am, 15 years ago, wanting to change my life because what I see around me no longer feels that good.
I do a self development course at Landmark Education and learn to observe my dramatic, victim stories I create about my life. The environment on the course is lovely, everybody is open and willing and supportive. It feels great and the course content makes a lot of sense. I feel excited and I am determined to apply the learning in my daily life and change the relationship with my then husband. I can see what a difference it would make.
After the course I drive home to my husband who is very hostile towards these self development courses. I arrive all delighted with the prospect of a better relationship but do not get a chance to share. He complains about what happened during the weekend while I was ‘having fun’, the kids played up and before I know it, I am uptight and irritated and reverting back into my dramatic story that life is hard and nobody understands me.
I know that I am not saying anything new here; we all have had these experiences of getting excited about something we ‘learned’ only to have the balloon deflated before we have even paid off the course costs on our credit card.
Despite my desire to make a difference in my life and my relationship I couldn’t and here is the biology explanation that shows how come me and my learning had no chance.
According to Bruce Lipton our body is a community of cells whose functions are influenced by stimuli from their environment.
During the course, my community of cells (my body) was responding to a very nurturing and friendly environment and therefore very receptive to taking information in. As I was relaxed, energy was available to the cells in my forebrain to process this information.
After the course I leave that optimum environment that stimulated the information receptive cells in my forebrain and on the drive home I cannot help but start to anticipate with dread the welcome I expect I am going to get from my husband.
These anticipatory thoughts are influencing my cells. My cells respond to the thoughts of an anticipated hostile environment by going in defensive mode to survive the onslaught, like they would do on a battleground. They take the energy away from my forebrain as the stress hormones get ready for battle by stimulating the blood flow to the hindbrain where the life-sustaining reflexes to deal with fight and flight behavior reside.
While it is useful that stress signals in real life emergency situations repress the processing conscious mind in favor of the survival reflexes of the hindbrain, in this type of daily life ‘battle’ situation these reflexes come at an unwanted cost . . . they diminish my cognitive ability to retain and communicate my new learned insights.
While the stress hormones are doing their job, they rob ME of MY ability to think about my insights and how to apply them when I come home. Thus within a few hours of leaving the course I am back to behaving as I did before, reacting to my environment and with the cognition of my new learnings quickly fading from consciousness.
That is why it is important to notice that most of our daily environments do NOT support us to retain and apply new insights; as a rule of thumb when doing things differently we find ourselves on a battlefield of resistance with the status quo.
That means to learn and to do things differently, most of us have to deal with the scary business of facing our battlefields and that is where courage and programs like WomenLikeMe come in.
To have learning be effective means that you have to get up the courage to move on from those battlefields, your current hostile environments and who wants to do that?
Addressing hostile environments is very scary and difficult and therefore I have seldom seen anybody courageously change their life from choice, have you?
But I have seen plenty of stories in the blogosphere about woman getting a kick in the backside by a life threatening or life altering circumstances such as cancer, relationship break-ups that does act as the catalyst to change their lives for the better.
Once John and I understood this connection between environment and learning, we have been quite radical with our change of environment and reducing our stress hormones. But I must admit that has not been easy.
You all have read about my struggle with voluntarily giving up my work environment and a stressful marriage.
The cold turkey shift from the city to rural living also had its moments for me.
When I say environment I do not only refer to toxic relationships, work environment and food though. I also refer to our own internal Little Voice, our beliefs about money and our out-of-integrity way of being. Most of my blog posts are pointing out the diversity of the toxic environments we need to pay attention to.
Because understanding the tension between learning and environmental stress is so important, our first concern at WomenLikeMe is to create awareness that learning requires you to look at the wholesome ‘what is so’ of your circumstances. Courageously taking action based on what you observe is a must for developing a strong basecamp.
When learning you have to, like Tess says, be fearlessly bold.
As Gloria Steinem said; “Any woman who chooses to learn to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke . . . She will need her sisterhood.”
I agree and I would add; ”as long as most of our environments are hostile to change, learning takes courage but you knew that, didn’t you.”
Only courage will bring change.
Only courage will allow you to face your environment and its hostility to your learning.
Choosing supportive environments like WomenLikeMe is key here.
Learning to do things differently is YOUR responsibility,
MINE is to support you.
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21 Comments to “Learning takes courage and you knew that, didn’t you?”
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Dear Wilma,
So fabulous to see you bring up Dr. Bruce Lipton. I devoured his book. Wrote about it on The Stepmom’s Toolbox and with the exception of one or two positive comments, it met with resounding deafness. The learning isn’t the scary part. Upending the boat is the scary part. No one wants to rock the boat, ask questions, be curious. I was that woman – I would do whatever it took to maintain the status quo and in reality, I was putting my life on artificial life support.
I was one of those who needed a kick in the pants and I don’t wish my method of falling awake on anyone. No one should wait until a crisis to try and fix something.
Much love,
Peggy
Peggy´s last blog ..The Scientific Method of Assumptions – Part I
Wonderful Peggy, I so love how you hear me, instead of having this happen;
If you see learning as just taking in information and regurgitating it at an exam or to impress people, yes, then learning indeed is not scary but when you see learning as taking responsibility to act according to the knowledge you have acquired, yes then;
Rocking the boat, taking responsibility to apply the knowledge that you have required, oh Peggy, that is not easy to do as the status quo is a very big strong beast. However you can be very proud of the changes you have made in your life by rocking the boat, being propelled by crisis or not. Unfortunately a crisis is still no guarantee for change, many people still do not go for a sustainable change after a crisis; they might tweak their lifestyle for some time until the crisis is forgotten and they revert back to normal.
It would be wonderful if we all could step forward of freewill without waiting for crisis and yes we can do that within a loving environment.
Much love, xox Wilma
Gawd Wilma,
Thank goodness that there are people like Dr. Bruce Lipton to analyze life to such an extent that we discover how our environment contributes to our stress levels.
I just feel and know when I need to change my environment. I trust my instincts and if I read into the biological reasons for my stress I think I would get way too heavy. I think you just helped me to realize why I am so shallow.
Some of us can handle analyzing our biology and many of us cannot. Is that why so few of us know our biological makeup?
Don’t get me wrong though. I completely admire Dr. Lipton and am fascinated by this post but I will leave it up to the greater genius to reach these depths and I’ll stick to talking about my need for coffee, travel and other stimulants to relieve my stress.
All my best,
Jillian
Jillian´s last blog ..Finding Talent on the Streets of New York City
Hey Jillian,
I am sure I can analyze this for you as well until your stress levels have reached another high
but I will stick to what you say here,
What more do you want than having instincts telling you when it is time to have a coffee or go and have fun. The fact that you then go and have your coffee or travel says you have courage to do something about it.
Courageously changing your environment comes in all sorts and sizes, what I am talking about is to watch that your environment is NOT stopping you from following your instincts.
There is no good or wrong, no better or worse.You very own blogpost about attending BlogHer was about learning, about how you want to make changes next time after watching other people do things you liked. Now the next step you and I have to watch, are we following up on our learnings? Would I do what you recommended and would you do what you recommended so we do have a more valuable experience at a conference next time? And if we do NOT do what you recommended, you and I need to talk and see how we can support each other to get into action. THAT is courageously learning and taking responsibility and as a result we will have a better BlogHer conference next year.
So I have no problem with you sticking to your intuition, stick away, BUT I will have a problem with your non-action and not learning from your own learnings. THAT would be a damn shame. Much love Wilma
Hi Wilma! I really enjoyed the “biology” of this post. Our cells really DO listen to all the jabber in our heads. We are constantly communicating – oh but the trick is to communicate what you really want isn’t it? And so often confusion or fear interferes with that. You’re right it takes courage to make changes and you better do whatever it is your doing with your whole being – all cells of you!
You give soooo much support Wilma and I really do appreciate that. It helps give me MORE courage to keep going. I can tell you this much – me and all my little cells are really happy pursuing the path of natural health. And boy don’t ya just “know” it when you are in sync with everything. Things that may have driven me nuts or caused me to worry just a year ago are non-issues anymore. And that’s GOOD!
hugs
suZen
suzen´s last blog ..The Sum of Summer
Dearest SuZen, your are soo worth supporting, you courageously are taking a stand for some huge changes.
It is wonderful to see someone like you who knows what they want;
And yes, it is the trick to communicate what you want to say when your brain is occupied with how to handle hostile surroundings and needs to figure out battle tactics;
Because our environment seldom lets us or encourages us.
Because they know all hell will break loose if we all communicate what we want and often THAT is NOT what the status quo wants us to say.
So we keep stuffing ourselves with food that is not food but commercially viable merchandise believing it is not too bad, because the environment we live in makes it really hard for us to form and then articulate different beliefs.
BUT if we can get away from those status quo beliefs that keeps us badly nourished and dumb, boy I agree, that is GOOD!
Huge hugs back, oh warrior woman, xox Wilma
Wilma, It makes so much sense doesn’t it? One reason hubs and I are together is because of his constant support and willingness to grow. I just let go of a dear friend who I thought was willing to grow. It’s funny when we pretend to be someone we’re not we can hold that energy for a long time. I love her but it was time to release her. I’m looking it as she deserves someone who she can grow with. It’s not me. Thanks for this…it’s an affirmation that I did the right thing. My ego wants me to feel guilty but why would I when I’m peaceful with the decision? Oh I’m so happy my card finally arrived. I do wish for you a wonderful happy year;)
Tess The Bold Life´s last blog ..Life Lessons for My Younger Self
Hey Tess, you got it in one.
Hubs and you have created an environment in which you both moved forward, in which you did not stunt each others evolutionary growth. This is incredibly important and yet so little understood. Our environment can really keep us chained to unhealthy living; mentally, spiritually and physically and we do not pay attention to that huge influence until a crisis makes us aware of the toxins we are surrounded with.
You are such a great woman to have become aware of this AND ACT accordingly to your awareness;
Yes, if you still had an environment full of egos with old beliefs about loyalty, you would feel guilty till the day you die. However when you are careful about who you associate with, you realize that support does count in changing our beliefs. If everybody around you eats crap food and there is only crap food on the menu, how do we sustain and get access to healthy eating habits? The same goes for mental healthy beliefs and habits.
AND of course we need to start acting according to our beliefs, because experiencing life from different beliefs is what will cement them as well.
Oh Tess, with people like you there is hope, isn’t there?
And yes your birthday card did arrive and it was such an awesome surprise. With much gratitude and love, Wilma
Hi Wilma .. exactly .. why do humans not look after themselves – we look after other things .. but not our bodies or our minds so often … we look to others and then want what they’ve got .. not working out if we actually need that person’s accoutrement .. will they/it benefit our life .. most often not ..
It’s being courageous in this unacknowledging world .. where we’re meant to fit in with all around us, not look at ourselves and grow – even within that so called supportive family environment .. I certainly couldn’t easily change if I was stuck where I was .. but actually finding people whom I can relate to – but feel safe with and can open up .. without having negative or ‘you can’t do that’ thrown back at me – makes such a difference. Perhaps even .. just taking a positive or ‘well done’ line on the new approach that others are taking .. rather than poo pooing it. This habit of putting people down is terrible, or being sarcastic about achievement .. or change ..
So – I now pronounce that I’m so looking forward to joining WomenLikeMe later in the week – and just immersing myself in this learning curve .. I’m anxious too .. but I feel I’m in the right place for this sort of openness .. and am looking forward to it .. and the support I’ll get.
Bye for now .. and with a love and hug across the globe – I’ll be there soon .. Hilary
Hilary´s last blog ..Seven Sisters – what would these mean to you
Dear Hilary, I too have been asking myself this question;
And yes this is it;
Fitting in certainly does not focus us on looking after ourselves and growing, it has us being busy and being destructive to our own cognitive cells. Go figure why we cannot get out of the mess of course and why we are not really solution focused. We just tweak here and there and keep ourselves stuck in the mud.
Hilary, looking at our environment is making a huge difference and we now even have scientific proof if we need any to sustain what you are saying here;
You are spot on, imagine being encouraged!!!!!!
Oh Hilary, you are in the midst of change and it is interesting that the do-ers like you and Peggy are seeing the opportunity of WomenLikeMe , because it is a do-ing program to make a difference in your daily life and to get unstuck.
On the blog I write about the explanations but on the program you get to make the changes and walk the talk.
And you are right, the support is there. Much love, Wilma
Wilma: What a great post and you made such a great point about the importance of understanding the type of environments you encounter. We can spend so much effort on reprogramming ourselves in a positive way and chipping away at idiosyncrasies, but the reality is that at some point we have to put our good new skills to work. We have to figure out how to harmonize and sync up what we know to be true with our decisions and actions in the world. And, that can take a lot of living and learning
Great post and great insights. I really enjoyed this one.
HI Sibyl, yes it is time to figure out how to become effective with making changes;
According to the results we all can read books and nod our heads, BUT what does it take to get us into action????
The mess we are in can be cleaned up very quick smart BUT it is you and me who have to get into action and DO SOMETHING. However as you say that is NOT easy because the world around us is hell bent on doing the same old destructive ways and our cells are too scared to do anything.
We indeed have to face that our actions of change are NOT in sync as you say here;
I say that that takes courage, Do-ing in the face of non agreement; rather than learning it takes applying of the learning. We can figure out as long as we live, there is no other way to change than doing I am afraid and THAT is what we support at WomenLikeMe . We do NOT support just figuring out, we support Do-ing Love-in-Action and making the changes NOW, courageously against our own and other people’s current beliefs.
Yes, that takes doing BUT I for one are no longer willing to put up with the mess, so that is all what is left for me.
Anybody joining me?????? xox Wilma
Hi Wilma, another great post! I appreciate the science you provide here because it’s important to acknowledge that when we’re faced with an unpleasant situation, we don’t only react instinctively, emotionally or intellectually. There is a real physiological reaction that takes place in response to our surroundings. And this is why we have to be cognizant of the elements in our environment. By chance or by choice, we find ourselves surrounded by either pleasurable, stressful or innocuous elements. If we are cognizant and open, and really listen to ourselves and what our hearts are saying to us, we’ll be better able to see what of our processes are received, knee-jerk or genuinely coming from within us. So yes, I completely agree that it takes courage to learn and apply these life learnings. Courage to accept that some of our pre-conceived notions may be false. Courage to accept that we may be making our lives more challenging than they need to be. Courage to admit that we may be lingering in the dark too long when letting the light in can be so simple. And maybe even courage to admit that we deserve to have as much joy in life as we can possibly imagine having.
Hi Belinda, I am pleased that the post spoke to you because I think it is extremely important to become responsible for making it possible for ourselves to become the change we want to see.
That means cleaning up our own mental, physical and spiritual environment. Because we all now know, what you also obviously know;
And this is why we have to be cognizant of the elements in our environment.
Yes, but are we????? No, we complain as you say in your latest post but are we taking responsibility for what we complain about and why??? Do we take responsibility to find out what is making us dissatisfied; are we looking for the core and thus see if we can change anything???
Are we daring to do this . . . because who knows what we might find out;
Yes, it takes courage to take responsibility to apply the information that is now becoming available to us; yes it takes courage to;
And guess what; don;t we all know that most of them ARE false, do we not know that we live in a very screwed up world and the more we are courageous enough to see where that has screwed us up, the more we have a chance to change and create a tipping point effect. We need to DO something ourselves first, face what we see AND then clean up our own lives in a very systematic and congruent way, like I offer on the WomenLikeMe Program. Then we do something with our knowledge and THAT is what counts, Do-ing something to clean up the mess ‘at home’.
Anybody joining me?????? xox Wilma
Kia ora Wilma,
It amazes me to watch my lovely wife having grown so much over these past few years. I have seen her confront family issues that are supposed to remain dead and buried and just accepted as “the way it is”. I have seen her excel and grow at university after a nearly 20 year absence. I have seen her confront injustice and racism and refuse to tolerate it in her life. I have seen her “say” to me, either keep up or get on your out of the way. It has not always been easy, and I always have strived to my own path, and what I am finding is that more I work at it, the easier it all becomes. Now she is looking at my mountains with a different view as well. We are looking at property out that way, and trying to find a way to be there, and live with the simplicity we are coming too. Cool!
Aroha,
Robb
Robb´s last blog ..Whereabouts Unknown
Kia ora Robb, you beautiful mountain soul.
This is the environment we all can live in, the one you and your wife have created so you could witness this;
Oh Robb, NO, this is NOT easy to create, you are spot on, this doesn’t happen when you meekly tweak something, you are talking about sustainable courageously required change.
And of course this will happen, you both grow into a co-creative partnership;
Oh Robb, you got IT, you are do-ing something and look at the results.
Aroha and much respect, Wilma
Wilma, I love this post!
this is what came thru for me, very essential.. I am straddling both worlds and my heart strength is the bridge of these two worlds.. and that is why I have been torn, and just now awakening to both and understanding the value of “a community opportunity” recently opening up for me, to lead from my heart and sharing unique experience..
The two parts that most stood out to me here are: [my heart's center and threshold]
1. My cells respond to the thoughts of an anticipated hostile environment by going in defensive mode to survive the onslaught, like they would do on a battleground.
2.my community of cells (my body) was responding to a very nurturing and friendly environment and therefore very receptive to taking information in. As I was relaxed, energy was available to the cells in my forebrain to process this information.
I am the center of both worlds as a forever bride and also a homefront emotional warrior/ & loyal cheerleader of my spouse/soldier.
I understand this connection between environment and learning [&receiving which is the true doorway]. Women need emotional support, a soft generous atmosphere to rest, and to be heard if and when they wish to share from their hearts. This is what I am to do also, nurture just as the nervous system affects the whole organization of the body,.. it is the craziest, unless it is aware, awake and performing well for the rest of the body..
.. then the body can be more calmed to perfom at the best diverse capabilities!
Thank you Wilma for sharing some more building blocks for me here today!
hugs,
Jenn
Jenn´s last blog ..L-Blossoming Bridal-days- R U Willing to Shine Naturally
Dear Jenn, you are welcome. Yes, imagine an environment which really at all levels was aligned with you being an eternal bride, glorious in her anticipation, beauty and love.
And Jenn, you too have found out, the world is NOT. So there you stand, there all human beings stand, their heart tugging you to go one way, the cells of your body doing all their might to have you flee because they are conditioned NOT to go that way.
This is our eternal struggle in this current world between our awesome soul and our conditioned timid body and there is no reconciliation possible yet. This struggle, the impossibility of reconciling the two leaves us depressed, confused, limited and whatever else we do to cope with it. For me the break through was to dare to admit the toxicity of my environment and how far that effects my nervous system and how then my unconscious mind/bodycells limits me to act from my heart.
This tension is what is giving us grief Jenn, this tension has us crawl under a stone from fright when we dared to pluck up some courage to venture out. I know that you have recently experienced this and it is NOT fun.
However as you so keenly observed, this explanation helps to understand what is going on and why certain actions are so difficult for us. Knowing what is going on is half the battle.
Jenn, thank you for listening, I do appreciate that hugely, xox Wilma
Wilma, I just wanted to say, thank you for doing what you are doing with quitting blogging. It really is rare and takes a lot of courage to know when to step back.. I love what you shared here, and I totally get what you are saying. I catch energies so quickly also and it is tough to keep my balance.
I am about to switch to my niche- the bride, and mil spouse. It means doing what I love. And that makes me so happy. This is “MY PARIS”.. who would have thought.. Hearing from you tonight gives me the extra boost of courage to not feel guilty or bad for those who aren’t in the niche, all are welcome to pass thru, but this is the heart’s gold for me! This is my true community..
I will announce before too long.. xx
hugs,
Jenn
Dearest Jenn, it is good that you can catch energies, it is what we are and what surrounds us and yes we need to learn to handle it. Thankfully there is far more knowledge available about energies and thankfully that means people like you who are open can find ways to deal with the many toxic ones that surround us.
It is nobody’s fault, our living community has just continue to put the wrong signals in our subconsciousness and hence we are so off track and hence even if we honestly and sincerely what to change, we cannot do it just by sheer will and mind power if we keep breathing the toxin that reinfect us.
I am thrilled you find your niche, your ‘love’, your dream. Go for it, Jenn. Never feel guilty, life is a flow, what you know today you didn’t know yesterday, so things change. Feeling guilty is one of those toxic subconscious reactions to keep you where the hierarchy wants to keep you. You are allowed to grow and to change your mind, it is part of living.
You go and thrive in your true community, we all eventually will. Much love, xox Wilma
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