On the Monday’s post; ‘She has no desires only goals‘ I described how my daughter is typical of so many of us; she has been taught to be goal focused, is achieving goals and yet lives an unfulfilling life where her unique personal desire and passion are missing. I too was once doing just the same, appearing successful but failing to love my life, until now that is.
Why might we choose ’safe’ goals over ‘unknown’ desires? Jenn shared her own experience of how her desires did not go to plan;
I stopped desiring things after an incident in my past where I made plans (full-out passionate plans) and then it got turned on me… I didn’t want to believe, and hope and desire again to that fullness… because I assumed it would be taken away again, and that was a lot of wasted good quality energy.
We all have seen our desires come to grief and leave us thinking we won’t do that again; lets play small instead. Little Voice then has the chance to come up with all kinds of justifications such as Jenn went on to share;
I think of it as selfish sometimes, or as an extra, or high-maintenance…
If I was to desire out loud, I feel it wouldn’t come true.
I secretly desire to … but I don’t want to believe entirely it could be real, or I might get crushed again.
…I feel what right do I have to desire too much … I don’t want to ask for more than I should and be ungrateful,
Many of us can recognize our own brand of Little Voice (ego) chatter that steadily undermines our right to desire and our courage to boldly declare our desires OUT LOUD for the Universe and everyone to hear. Congratulations Jenn for daring to declare your secret desire out loud on your blog.
Aysel sees clearly how goals are a set up by society and that goals on their own are not our desires at all or as she so eloquently puts it;
People spend years chasing the goal that was never theirs and once achieved they don’t really know what to do with the outcome… As a result we have a crowd that follows the same fit-all “dream” template to discover later on that apparently there was more than one train leaving the station. What a disappointment it must be to discover that you got on the wrong train after going such a long way, what a hassle to go back and start over.
We have a dichotomy here, between Jenn’s experience of struggling to come to terms with desires that do not go to her expected plan, giving her lots of grief and Aysel’s realization that we get persuaded to take the wrong train, and pursue a society inspired fit-all ‘dream’.
We each face the challenge of choosing between an apparently knowable society inspired dream or the Great Unknown of going for our unique desire. Peggy Nolan knows this;
Right now, I’m standing in the middle of this huge unknown landscape. I have no idea how things will turn out, I just know that I love being and doing what I truly desire. I’m excited, a little nervous…
I’m off and running towards my desire, with full open arms, and an open heart.
Robin Easton shares how it is for her to live in her desire’s Great Unknown;
Ever since I let go all that I thought I “should” be in society, and allowed myself to return to Nature and become what I ALREADY was and am, my life has taken me always, forever, into the arms of The Great Unknown. I embrace it willingly, hungrily, as my soul’s sustenance. The Great Unknown keeps me vitally alive. Even writing my book is a journey not of my ego, but rather a calling by Nature to let her speak through me, a calling that fills me with such intense Love that there are days I sit, write and weep because I’m filled with such piercingly intense Love.
While the ‘how’ of our desires belongs to the Great Unknown, it doesn’t mean that clear fixed goals, like milestones along the way, are not a useful and necessary part of the journey as Kristie Ryan recognizes;
I know what I do desire and I know that this job position will help to get me there.
A job or writing a book is a goal along the way, part of our desire rich journey but is not the desire itself. Once this is understood, it allows us to accept the challenges and difficulties as stations along the way; as part of our bigger dream. The details of our desires evolve too, an example of which Robin, the queen of living life from desire explains;
I am thinking of a way to bring people to ME and NATURE as opposed to me ONLY going to cities and towns to talk “about” Nature. It’s something that I feel will find it’s own course, if I just trust and “put it out there”. The way will reveal itself in the right time.
For a nature girl such as Robin, I can see that choosing to “go to cities and towns to talk ‘about’ Nature” is a considerable sacrifice that comes from desire and a true act of love.