Comments on: Wilma’s friends on Intimacy has consequences

By: Wilma

Wilma — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 06:06:51 +0000

Dear Evita. There are consequences for everything we think and do and how we avoid to take responsibility or try to avoid the consequences altogether. I agree that that is an important lack in our understanding of how life works.
Yes, the more we are willing to face the consequences, the more we dare to create them.
And change has consequences, fearless living has consequences as Tess also knows.
And yet we cannot live without them and I agree;

So it may be scary, it may not be easy at first, and definitely very uncomfortable to be authentic and intimate, when that means rocking the boat, or changing the status quo, but gosh does it ever feel so good, once we allow some space and time, and at times healing to pass through. And then it just gets easier…

It is in the experience that we learn, only in the experience and we need to start to accept that AND face the consequences. Much love, Wilma

By: Evita Ochel

Evita Ochel — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 03:15:18 +0000

Hi Wilma

I feel the emotions of this topic and the energy of it from all of the different contributors. And I agree completely with what Patty said about you nailing it right on with this statement: “everybody is avoiding living a life rich with consequences.”

I also relate so much to what Aysel said in the comments you added from her in the post above. It is so interesting how we can be so open with strangers, and yet so closed up with family…

But again it goes back to living and to consequences, and this topic also reminds me of Tess’ whole idea about bringing in “Fearless Living”.

Naturally, as with everything else, the more we try or do something, the easier it becomes. So it may be scary, it may not be easy at first, and definitely very uncomfortable to be authentic and intimate, when that means rocking the boat, or changing the status quo, but gosh does it ever feel so good, once we allow some space and time, and at times healing to pass through. And then it just gets easier…
Evita Ochel´s last blog ..The Two Most Powerful Words To Create Change

By: Wilma

Wilma — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 22:18:36 +0000

Hi Tess, I would do the same if it was summer here as well
Yes, intimacy is about sharing your authentic self and not acting from what is expected as the norm. AND as you say that is a life-long assignment because if you really pay attention, we are soooooo forced to act how is expected of us. Unfortunately what is expected of us is NOT what our authentic self would choose and there lies the tragedy.
However it seems that some of us are working hard to make the societal expectation and our authentic self more congruent. THAT would create a beautiful loving world alright.
So you go and get naked in the sun, I will wait my turn. xox Wilma

By: Wilma

Wilma — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 22:11:49 +0000

Hi Chris, indeed;

If I can’t say what’s going on for me, why do I need the relationship at all, except out of fear that I won’t find another one — whether we’re talking about lovers, friends, bosses, etc.?

If only we did pay attention to what we are doing, the world and us in it would not be like it is today, ‘utterly ridiculous’. It could not stay so ridiculous for much longer because once you pay attention a lot of things become so obvious, like the fact that the emperor has no clothes on for example. Our fear would start to stare us in the face as it has done for me and then it is a matter of what are you going to do and what you are capable of doing. I have been fortunate enough to develop strength as a stronger basecamp to deal with staring fear in the face and doing something productive about it and you obviously have too with your inner productivity. Because without intimacy no productive relationships xox Wilma

By: Chris Edgar

Chris Edgar — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 20:51:17 +0000

Hi Wilma — thanks for saying this — I do notice a lot of relationships around me where people are afraid of upsetting the status quo, and so they settle into a routine that, paradoxically, results in boredom and conflict. If I can’t say what’s going on for me, why do I need the relationship at all, except out of fear that I won’t find another one — whether we’re talking about lovers, friends, bosses, etc.?