In this Monday’s post; Ego rejects love and intimacy I began by sharing my reaction to hearing that my brother was reading my blog. I then went on to share my inner thoughts and observations of my relationship with my daughter and how intimacy so easily vanishes as ego dominates our conversation and activities -or the lack of it- with its fears and primary need to protect it’s own agenda.
We all know the story of the emperor with no clothes on, a story which so beautifully shows how our egos go to great length to keep up appearances and how avoidance of intimate sharing out of fear can keep a ridiculous situation in place. That fairy story sounds unbelievable but is it really?
The ego and love and intimacy do not mix.
Which begs the question; if they do not mix then one must go, which is it to be? I love to vote for the ego to go, but it seems that currently ‘love and intimacy’ is on the outer. Aysel noticed this and has questions too;
why is it that intimacy is such a taboo with people close to us… Why I would rather share my intimate thoughts with strangers as I do through blogging, then with my mom?
While Aysel didn’t answer her own question, she did go on to talk about her experiences of what happened when she took a risk and dared to be intimate;
I remember sharing a rather intimate thing with my friends – how little reaction did I get, how quickly they changed the subject… I was shocked and disappointed.
We probably can all remember instances where we plucked up courage to share intimately to be dismissed one way or another by those very people we consider to be closest to us.
BTW if we pay further attention then the very fact that we need courage to share intimately deserves a questions mark too, doesn’t it?
Evita looked at what happens with blogging where we get to say whatever we wish, often intimately, to the whole world, strangers and family alike and how it is no problem for strangers but does have consequences with close family;
one day when my mom did decide to go on the site and read, it lead to a very unpleasant situation to say the least. I won’t explain, but what I am saying is I totally understand this particular “fear” or better put “cautiousness” that we have when we lay it all out. On the site, I get to be really honest, really me and say what it is that is within my heart or mind. Our closest ones do not always realize that part of us, as they see us through their often “Ego-based” lens.
Yes, it shows that currently sharing intimately does have consequences. One of those consequences is that ‘ego-based’ lenses are going to react to our love and intimacy. Courage is indeed needed because we all have experienced that there is no avoiding the consequences when we do go ahead and be love-in-action, when we do dare to share intimately.
As for Aysel’s question; “why is it that intimacy is such a taboo with people close to us?” My answer is; everybody is avoiding living a life rich with consequences. I for one would have been afraid of what I would unleash when I told the emperor that (s)he has no clothes on. People have been burnt at the stake for being love-in-action and while not literally any more, certainly still figuratively in other ways.
It is clear what Evita is choosing;
Today however, I am not afraid anymore. When I write I realize that I am making myself open and at the same time vulnerable to those I know and strangers. People are free to make what they choose of my writing and what I have to say, and I have to, or better yet I choose to be okay with that.
What do you choose?
To let your ego-based thoughts dominate and do your best to avoid consequences or go for love and intimacy and all the consequences that unleashes?
BTW intimacy is NOT sharing MY opinion willy nilly, intimacy for me starts with observing and sharing with great honesty the wholesome ‘what is so’, my own in particular.