Are you new here? This explains the blog
RSS
Prefer posts delivered to your inbox? Just pop your email address in below and click 'GO'.
Recent Posts
- I quit blogging.
- Learning takes courage and you knew that, didn’t you?
- Wilma’s Friends on Change starts from within YOU
- I believe in the power of the individual, YOU.
- Wilma’s friends on Following our Calling
- Having faith to LET GO.
- Wilma’s friends on Our desires are the Great Unknown
- She has no desires only goals.
- Wilma’s friends on Intimacy has consequences
- Ego rejects love and intimacy.
- Wilma’s friends on Captaining our own Life
- Allow yourself to be lovable and shine.
- Wilma’s friends on Doing love to be Lovable.
- Are we lovable enough to attract love?
- Wilma’s friends on Honesty in relationships
Further Reading
Where I am coming from
Categories
Search this site
Are we lovable enough to attract love?
Are they lovable enough to attract Love?
Living in nature, in this Garden of Eden is a bit ironic and quite confronting for me at the moment. The abundance, the Love it offers is in very sharp contrast with how I experience Ego-land, the world of humans.
All I see is hunger for nutritious, honest food, hunger for a purpose and the worst hunger of all, the lack of Love.
Let’s face it, who feels totally loved today? Because if we did, we would all be living in ‘Heaven on Earth’ as Love is the key.
To live in ‘Heaven on Earth’ we need to do as the Romans do when in Rome, which is to be lovable, to be Love-in-Action and attract through love.
That brings me back to my migration metaphor, are we acting like the Romans when in Rome?
Can we do Love-in-action? Are we lovable?
Looking at the world around me I think we can’t and we aren’t.
And can I?
I am still frustrated that Love, this important ingredient, causes so much misunderstanding and confusion for most of us, me included.
If you pay attention you will be noticing that all my posts are about learning how to be Love-in-action.
John and I work and live together which could create lots of possibilities for Love being out-of-action.
Had I not committed myself to learning and understanding the value of being Love-in-action and how that makes me lovable to others AND myself, I am sure Love would often be out-of -action.
I’ll show you how easy it is to become Love out-of-action and how being able to get back into being Love-in-action is hugely benefiting me as well as John.
My Alpaca fleeces have been at the carder’s -who makes my wool ready for spinning- for months and that is far too long.
I need the new Alpaca wool to complete two projects and send those on their way.
Two phone calls and two promises later, I still do not have the wool. Over promising is NOT being Love-in-action and neither is my ‘dishonest’ reaction.
Being flexible I pretend not to care. But I actually do care. Not paying attention to what matters to me is NOT doing Love-in-action towards myself.
I care because not having the Alpaca wool leaves me hanging as one project is a jumper for the woman who gave me the fleeces.
It is winter here and I would love to be complete with my promise to her. Keeping promises is a very important Love-in-action. It makes people feel safe and that they can count on you. It also makes them feel loved.
It is obvious when you look at how you feel when people do not keep their promises.
So here I am doing flexible and yet starting to wonder if flexibility is such a good idea in this situation?
I am getting on thin ice, I have no idea what to think and what to do next. I am getting irritated and I notice the inclination to ignore what is going on. I know that ignoring is NOT Love-in-action, drat! I should do something but talking it over with John has consequences, drat!
He will make me aware of my ‘un-loving’ actions, he will! Now I am on the slippery slope of being-out-of-integrity and losing out on being lovable, drat even more!
I am starting to have unloving thoughts about everybody and I am getting frustrated with myself as well. I should be over all this.
My frustration makes me even more annoyed with the other woman, the one who promised to drop the fleeces off in December but only gave them to me in April.
I feel unkind towards the carder too. I think of never doing business with her again and not telling her why. Oops, withholding feedback, not telling what is going on is not being lovable and blaming is NOT Love-in-action either.
I am getting in a downwards spiral; why do I feel bad when none of this is my fault and I certainly do not feel like being told by John that I can turn all this around, because he will!
I avoid talking about all this and pretend all is fine until John says this morning; “I think it is time to ring the carder again, don’t you think?”.
No I do not think that at all, instead I think; “What did I say? Here we go, now I get the blame, I am not going to listen to this.”
Instead of being Love-in-action, I was in like Flynn, saying; “Thanks but no thanks, I do not want you to interfere, I am fine. ” With that I stomped off into the garden, fuming about the unfairness of it all.
I know by now that when I am stomping and stewing I have left ‘Heaven on Earth’ and that I have to do my hardest to pay attention on how to get back!
I know by now that I have to get over myself and not waste time either. THIS is hard work though.
That calms me down and I go back inside and apologize.
By now I can ask John for clarification ; “Why did you say I should I ring, I do not feel like harassing her. She will send the wool once it is ready.”
I should have known that John is not one to harass the carder or me. He was just supporting me in getting completion and seeing if the carder had problems.
Willingness to receive support is a lovable act.
I must say it feels good to be lovable again and genuinely wanting to solve my dilemmas.
I ring the carder and hear her relief as she takes her chance to tell me about her difficulties with this particularly slippery type of Alpaca fiber. She is also very proud to share that she is sorting it out. I will get it in two weeks time, promise!
Phew, phoning was a good move and definitely Love-in-action towards both of us. Who was talking about harassment.
Next I contacted the woman who gave me the wool to let her know her jumper will be on its way in July.
I am back in-integrity, I am no longer in denial, I am allowing John to contribute, I am sorted.
I paid attention to myself . . . but most of all I am lovable once more and able to attract Love again.
Doing Love-in-action is not about appearing kind, doing martyrdom behavior or rolling over all the time.
That will NOT attract Love, it will attract need, helplessness and takers.
Doing Love-in-action is about ‘I matter‘ and is about treating ‘acting into one’s greatness‘ as a serious affair; serious enough to pay it lots of attention.
- Do you ever consider how lovable you are?
- How open are you to receiving support without having the ego interfere?
- How often do you attack the one who is lovable to you?
This post is just a small example to show how our ego continuously sabotages us to be Love-in-action and to attract Love.
We all know that Love is important, we all need Love in our lives, right?
It is no mystery that the WomenLikeMe program is ‘A Course in Love’, a Program about Being Love-in-Action with women for women. You cannot do it for yourself by yourself.
38 Comments to “Are we lovable enough to attract love?”
Leave a reply
Subscribe to comments with RSS or TrackBack to 'Are we lovable enough to attract love?'.
Hi Wilma,
Another topic close to my heart. I think about this constantly! I know and see that I am not lovable. I know and see that I do not love myself. And I truly do not understand how to change it. I kind of get a glimpse of it in your post, but in day to day life I have no idea how to change. I have no real friends other than my online community, I am recovering from an abusive relationship and am constantly desperately lonely. My children love me, as do my parents and my sister, but that is kind of “love by default”.
I don’t believe I deserve to be loved and I know that until I change that and start loving myself, I won’t be. But I don’t understand how to be loving towards myself or others….
Dorothy´s last blog ..Things I learnt from Facebook
Dear Dorothy. Yes, isn’t it interesting that we have trouble with the most important ingredient in our life which is love.
I am appreciating your honesty here;
It is very useful to consider that Love expresses itself through action. Dorothy, the start in daily life back to love, is doing simple daily loving activities towards yourself. You do not have to feel you deserve it, just do. Make yourself a nice drink and really take your time to enjoy it. THAT is a start. Then guard your thoughts, do not let negative thoughts spoil that moment. Just do every day one of these actions. THAT is all to slowly learn about love.
Also do not make on-line friendship wrong, it is easier to find like minded people via blogs at the moment than in real life. They show up in cyberspace easier and so be it for the moment. If it suits accept and leave it at that.
Yes, loneliness is hard, when it overwhelms you, go and do something. Do a loving act towards other people or yourself and as you can only feel and think and do one thing at the time, it works.
Dear Dorothy, just do and it will happen and the understanding comes later. It is all in the practice. Love is NOT a given at this current time, all adults have to learn how to do Love. You will and can learn too, just do not assume because we are human we understand about love.
I trust this is useful, much love to you and the biggest hug, Wilma
Hi, Wilma. It’s really hard to be loved the way we wanted to be loved. And quite often, just when we need to be loved the most, we are at our most “unlovable”. We push love away just when we needed it most. How I wish we could really we more lovable beings, it will make it easier for others to give us the love we seek. But I do thank God however, because He loved me, even when I was most unlovable.
Joyce at What Would You Do In Heaven?´s last blog ..Quote About Heaven 070510
HI Joyce, yes we can always count on God to love us, however we humans are a little less capable in the Love department.
What you say is so poignant;
I am very grateful though that we can learn to be lovable. We just have to pay honest attention to our actions; because Love is expressed through actions either by saying loving words and only speaking with good purpose or by doing loving acts that benefits the receiver.
Once we pay attention we can turn the tap of being lovable on until all our Love tanks are filled up and Love flows everywhere. And that would certainly be bliss. Love Wilma
Dear Wilma,
It was only when I learned and grasped the Law of Attraction that I understood that in order for me to be loved, really loved the way I wanted to be loved that I had to love myself just like that FIRST. AND, if I wanted to find the love of my dreams, a man who embodied my values, that I also had to live those values. I had to put money where my mouth is and walk the talk. I had to become more than a surface model of the love I wanted. I had to feel it, do it, from every cell in my body. Finding Richard was a combination of heartfelt prayer and heartfelt action on my part AND on his part. In each other we found the answer to our prayers. But we also became the people we wanted to be with.
XO
Peggy
Peggy´s last blog ..Are You the Living Dead
Dear Peggy, once you know it is so clear;
I have no idea why we have become so against loving ourselves, because by neglecting ourselves as a supposedly act of Love, we have ironically achieved the opposite.
Indeed we need to learn to feel Love like this;
Love is a doing, as you so beautifully said, Love is heartfelt action. First towards ourselves and then towards others.
Oh Peggy, isn’t it great to understand this and have Love appear into your life?
You worked on it and you deserve all the happiness you have created with Richard. Hugs Wilma
Wilma, your timing with this post was impeccable. Just yesterday (before receiving notification of what you’d written about), I was at a friend’s house telling him how I kept receiving the Universal message that I need to love myself. Frustrated – because in many ways I do believe I love myself – I asked him, “How do I know if I’m not loving myself? What things do I need to do or stop doing in order to successfully love myself?!” He immediately asked me to change my question, because he thought it was wrong. So I said okay then, “How do I know if I AM loving myself, or loving myself fully enough?” He then asked me to change my question again; to approach it from a different angle. Confused, I asked him to explain what he meant. He said, “Maybe it’s not a matter of ‘you are’ or ‘you aren’t.’ We imprison ourselves with our dualistic viewpoints — things are either black or they’re white, we’re loving ourselves or we’re not… Maybe you’re always loving yourself, but because you’ve trained your mind to believe that love looks a certain way, you don’t recognize it when you’re doing it.”
That’s when it all came together for me, and I could see how “in my head” I’ve been for the last two months. When I’m in my head, ego’s running around like a bratty child, wreaking havoc and wearing me out. I think that love’s abandoned me, or I’ve abandoned it. I try in vain to analyze how to love myself — as if it’s a step by step formula I could adhere to, which would magically make everything in life better.
But what if I softened my gaze a bit, and changed my perspective and started to FEEL that since I am made of love, everything I do is an act of loving myself? Love is what’s at my core — what’s bubbling beneath the surface at all times. I just choose to cover it up with mind games, judgments, resistance (ohhhh, resistance!), when all it ever takes is surrendering back to my most natural state in order for love to shine through again.
A brilliant topic, Wilma, at a brilliant time. Much gratitude, as I practice surrendering, and affirming that I AM ALWAYS LOVING MYSELF!
Dearest Megan, oh that mind of ours that is indeed so limited when it is not guided by our heart. In its limitations it indeed does this;
The misunderstandings that we have developed over so many things are just astounding and causing so much agony, arrgggh. Like you say;
Everything becomes so complicated, we are paralyzed by analysis. All we have to do is actually doing simple loving acts, it is not more complicated than that but boy even that we can make wrong or selfish and complicated.
It is how you say;
Our mind is making us so tense, while as you say when we dare to relax in Love, Love will bubble up.
Oh Megan, I am sure that we are all so thrilled to hear you say these words to yourself;
We, your blogging friends all love you and nothing is more beautiful than seeing the one you love, loving themselves as well. If you do not love yourself, you are like a drought, the ground gets too hard to absorb rain and the much needed water just drains off and gets wasted. But when you love yourself, my love will get through and that is so wonderful. You have become lovable, hugs Wilma
It helps so much to see the process you went through… even having an awareness of *being* love-able to *attract* love, it can be hard to remember in the thick of things… and easy to forget.. and sometimes I find myself wondering how to *be* love-able in my current situation.
In a nutshell, the man I began seeing in January had been informed by another woman that he was the father of her child. She refused to get a dna test until two weeks ago, two weeks after the birth of the baby, but while pregnant he bent over backwards to support her financially and even brought her to Italy so she would be able to tell their child about his heritage, when the baby is older. All the while, she would tell him every other day that it was *not* his child and that it was the baby of another man she had been with last summer.
I decided to wait until the birth of the baby so we could see whether or not the baby is his. He is a wonderful, kind, thoughtful man who has always wanted a baby, and our relationship has been very loving while all this unknown (and often hurtful) has been unfolding. As it has turned out, the baby is his child; so I decided at that point the truth was clear, and I would be happy to have a relationship with him once all the legalities of child support and visitation have been worked out. But in the meantime, we decided not to see one another.
Initially, I knew that taking care of myself would be the best long-term strategy, as all the emotional confusion surrounding the birth of the child was bringing up abandonment issues for me, as well as the death of my own dreams for our uncomplicated future. However, as time passes and I am more serene on my own, when he calls me and says he would like to see me, I wonder whether I am doing the right thing. I feel fine, and think: I love this man.. I feel strong, so why am I refusing him my presence when he must be going through a sort of purgatory?
I have to remind myself that the judge has still not finalized the legal papers, and there was good reason for my having put my foot down in the first place. Even with the possibility that we drift apart. But when I feel calm and loving toward him, (and I know this is *because* I have acted in a way to protect myself, and know that I am behaving at one with my morality – for whatever reason, I feel like it would be dishonest of me to continue seeing him until everything is worked out with babymama and his newborn son, Luca – ) and I hear how much he misses me and how difficult this period is for him, I always question whether I am behaving in a loving way. I have to have faith that I am, and that the questioning in itself is a part of the process of staying present with love.
Michaele ´s last blog ..Leap of Faith
Dear Michaele, you throw up some really interesting points about is this Love in action or not.
I totally agree that this is love in action towards yourself;
I have found out that when you are not strong, you cannot give support to others, you will only confuse them too. I always remind myself that when the plane goes down, you have to put your own oxygen mask on first. It is so easy to give in to the ego who love self sacrifice and looking good but in the end that never pays off.
So good on you for honestly looking at the wholesome ‘what is so’ about this situation and getting out of the way.
I also admire your clarity here;
It is so easy to buckle under other people’s requests for a certain act of love and it can become very confusing what to do, I so agree. But you have made a clear agreement to not have contact until all legal issues are finalized and it is a loving act to keep to that agreement as there are obviously no reasons why not to. It also would be a loving act from him to respect that agreement while he of course can still express his feelings of love.
In the end it is only you who can honestly know if it is the ego playing games or if it is real heart-centered guided actions coming from Love. I’d say indeed keep questioning and keep honestly paying attention to your actions so you keep being aware of the difference, but from what I hear you say, I’d say so far so good.
Much love to you, xox Wilma.
It is very true, that to attract love we must be love. This should be easy because love is our core being. The reason it appears to be difficult is because we have hidden our core being beneath layers of ego.
Mark´s last blog ..Finding Your Way Back To Now
Hi Mark, I so agree, living in a loved filled world should be easy, we ARE ALL LOVE.
And when love once more prevails as the ego layers have been peeled back and discarded, we will all be acting in a connected way and fear and lack will completely disappear in one second flat.
And wouldn’t that be an amazing sight to see and we would once more live a life that is just amazingly beautiful. xox Wilma
Hi Wilma,
Your story reminded me of quite a few slips I recently had. Getting annoyed, or even angry when things were not going the perfect way I wanted them to. But then I thought – just because I became a better person (or at least trying to) – it doesn’t mean that the world became a better place. It’s still the same old world where things get messy quite often, people don’t keep their promises or hurt you deliberately. I know now that despite living in this imperfect world, I want and I can be lovable. I don’t want to go backwards to being a demanding, selfish, ego-centric woman, because that’s when I stop being lovable – I simply cannot love myself when I am that way. Letting negative emotions be in control scares love away. So I still believe that there’s a way to tackle an unpleasant situation with love and patience – and the outcome will often seem like a miracle, because love opens the doors where didn’t even know were there.
Aysel´s last blog ..A Day to Forget
Dear Aysel, what you say here are indeed words of Love in action and that is so awesome;
THAT is being Love in action alright.
However it is also Love in action to be aware of this messy world and to protect yourself by for example exposing yourself as little as possible to unloving situations or people as you possibly can.
Love in the end is a very powerful shield, Love cannot be attacked, Love sees beyond egos and will never attack back. However you need to have a full Love tank yourself first to be that loving to be able to withstand those messy moments. THAT is why it is so important to be Love yourself first and to look after yourself.
And once we are Love, we become very powerful indeed and doors will open we never knew were there.
Aysel, thanks for your loving contribution, xox Wilma
Wilma: What a great post and a question we should really ask ourselves. Love really does make the world go round and is the core of our being and so we need to make certain that we are in tune with it. I think we have to find ourselves to the point where it is natural and we just exude loving thought and actions … and that has definitely been a process for me. For me, what has worked is always starting with gratitude. Gratitude seems to conquer any negative emotions, reactions or feelings that may be overshadowing our kindness and love. Thanks for this post Wilma. It is always so helpful to hear other people’s stories and the same challenges and issues we are all working through.
Sibyl – alternaview´s last blog ..30 Things I Wish I Knew Earlier in Life
Hi Sibyl,
I love what you say here;
Exuding loving thoughts and actions is our natural state alright, look at small children.
But as Mark said, the ego is definitely overshadowing all this and I agree that it will be a process to get back to that state of being Love.
Gratitude is love in action and a very good way to have Love appear. If anything else it is an act we all can do under any circumstance and that is actually really wonderful if you think about it.
There are certainly ways to get back to being lovable by being Love in action and going beyond the ego.
Thank you too Sibyl for adding this to the dialog. Love Wilma
OK Mark I’m having my loving core “coming out” party today! I can relate to what Peggy says and as soon as I’m off kilter I find myself attacking hubs for no reason at all. Auuugghhh and I get quiet and figure out what the heck I’m not liking about me…and of course I have my answer in a few seconds…Now about that party…all lovers of selves are welcome!
Tess The Bold Life´s last blog ..Freedom- Rapture -amp Being Alive
Cool, you party away Tess and I guess a lot of us will be there.
Isn’t it interesting once we are capable of discerning what is going on, that we can clearly see when we are NOT lovable and then we wonder why we have a rotten day and everybody seems out of sorts. Hallo, hallo, if our egos make it a battle ground, what can we expect?
Good on you for catching yourself and sorting it so quickly. At least you wasted hardly any time on bad feelings.
And yes, I am ready to party, xox Wilma
Hi Wilma — yes, it’s odd how the ones we’re in relationship with tend to be, paradoxically, the ones who get the most of our anger and defensiveness — even more weirdly, because they’ve helped us to feel safe enough with them to release those parts. Being human gets more odd each time I think about it.
I agree wholeheartedly, we are odd beyond belief. Carlos Castaneda was taught to approach life with ‘controlled folly’ by Don Juan and I think he was taught a very valuable lesson. It supports me greatly at times to just consider our actions as ‘controlled folly’, how else are we staying sane when observing what we are doing? I cannot wait to see all this change, it is high time. xox Wilma
Wilma –
This was an interesting read. Love has been on my mind for the past year… the way people view it and treat it as if it is territory or possession or something that has strings and locks and keys… all insecurity based perhaps?
Your example was quite well stated. I have felt that spinning that starts with a thought and ends up with a physical response, removal, isolation, stomping… it takes strength to see it, acknowledge it, and then step back and let those around not only love us but provide support. So often, the situation has less to do with us and more to do with something that we don’t know or information we don’t have. It is when we stop, open ourselves, and allow our loving selves to shine that we have a more accurate read on the situation or we realize that it isn’t about us as much as it is about something else.
I am going to consider this more – love… so simple and yet so full of nuances and depth because it is filtered and often defined by the ego and individual experiences.
The Exception´s last blog ..July
Dear TE, I enjoyed your summary of the process;
I do agree that it does take strength AND also skill to see what is going on. I have learned a lot over the years about how my daily actions were not in-integrity, were driven by ego thoughts which made them in-authentic and often not for the greater good.
Knowing that has supported me enormously in getting a handle on what actually was going on and why Love was elusive and my life did not produce the results it could have had.
Once you are in-integrity and not solely ego focused this is indeed possible;
I always call that the wholesome ‘what is so’ and that can only be seen when we can go beyond the ego and coming from Love.
A Chilean biologist’s saying is; “Love is the only emotion that expands intelligence’ and what you just said supports that.
Dear TE, considering Love more is so worthwhile, much love to you, Wilma
What a beautiful story about the true nature of love, Wilma, and how it must start inside of us. And great comments. I don’t have anything brilliant to add, except this line from one of my favorite poems from e.e. cummings:
“Love is the voice under all silences, the hope which has no opposite in fear; the strength so strong mere force is feebleness: the truth more first than sun, more last than star.”
Sending love to you, my friend.
Patty – Why Not Start Now?´s last blog ..Meaning Mondays- Lazy
HI Patty, that is indeed well said by e.e.cummings. It is an incredible force and yet so dimmed. We only have to look what people can accomplish by passion which is Love and it becomes clear how it knows no obstacles. It is incredible how we have ignored such a force in our lives by letting the ego based thoughts get so dominant.
However we are on to it, much love, Wilma
How often (drat is right!) we are given little “tests” on this whole issue of lovable! I learned over the years that when in a situation of waiting for someone else to do something for me, a promised thing, that a loving inquiry worked best. If I found myself getting impatient on the wait, I’d inquire if there was something I could do to help get (whatever it is) done. A few times that was really a good thing to do since there WAS a crisis on the other end (health issue, death in family, some personal crisis) and my offer of help was one of those serendipity things – a blessing for her rather than pressure she didn’t need at the time.
You just never know. When we don’t have the control button all the time it’s tough, but I’d rather err on the side of offering help no matter who promised what.
I heard Wayne Dyer in Denver about 20 years and he said something that has really stuck with me. He said “You cannot begin to give OUT what you do not have INSIDE” so that about sums up my whole lovable schtick. If I truly do love myself, it gives me nothing but love to give out – and I love that!
hugs
suZen
SuZen´s last blog ..Taking On McDonalds
Dear SuZen, yes it was interesting that a phone call can have a loving focus rather than a demanding ego one and that I straight away assumed that is was all about the ego focused ‘harassing call. We live and learn, don’t we?
This makes enormous sense as well;
And I have found that that is soooooo true. You can only ooze Love and compassion when you experience Love yourself. It has been interesting to look back on how Love in my first marriage just slowly disappeared without me noticing it until I had trouble giving. I felt more anger, lack and resentment than Love and that is not a great way to be. Thank goodness that is over. So now I can send you a big heartfelt hug, xoxoWilma
I really enjoyed reading this, Wilma. How you described every emotion that passed through you, how you lost sight of your love-in-actionness, and how you found your way back to it. I happen to believe that it doesn’t so much matter what path we take in our journey. What matters more is if we find our way back to love, giving it and accepting it. Sounds simple enough but alas, not always so simple in practice.
Oh Belinda I so agree with you;
Being on the path that is Love is indeed all that ever matters.
And indeed not simple in practice as many paths to Love are obscured by societal opinions. “No dear, you can NOT do what you love doing, there is no money in it.”
“No way can you marry THAT man, he has the wrong car/hairdo/parents/job/nose/taste in music or whatever.”
Love is not seen as a legitimate driver to guide our lives so no wonder it is no longer simple. But it seems that we are honestly observing the wholesome ‘what is so’ about Love and that is very promising. Thanks you for participating too, the more people are aware the sooner the tipping point happens. xox Wilma
Your post shows how easy it is to get off track. I used to wonder why some people were the way they were but your insights enlighten me to how it could happen. One unliving thought leads to another, until only bitterness is left, and all the love is gone.
Amazing what our ego can do. I feel empowered to always look for that love-in-action and not feel bad for doing and honestly seeking answers and my true self in the kindest way possible.
XOXO Wilma!
Angelia Sims´s last blog ..A Puppy Named Brownie
Oh Angelia, this is how it can happen indeed;
The ego is not looking for love, the ego attacks, competes and looks only to fulfill its own needs. Love is NOT what egos do best and until we see that we cannot be lovable as only love attracts love.
So when you love yourself, once you can see beyond the ego, you will attract love and you can be authentically love-in-action.
xox Wilma
Wilma,
Beautiful post! I also really enjoyed reading this, i totally agree that we need to learn how to love ourselves first before loving other.. Trust issue is one big problem once you lose it..Love is such a powerful feeling that over many chapters of mu life, I think love is sacrificing and growing up. Thanks for sharing!
I really like what you said about getting lost in the journey “What matters more is if we find our way back to love”
Justin, that is indeed a very important thing to keep in mind; “What matters more is if we find our way back to love”.
Love-in-action is not something we do automatically, so it pays to be aware. xox Wilma
Hi Wilma .. loads of comments .. gosh and so true isn’t it. I agree with you and recently have definitely not been doing the same (most of the time) .. it’s similar to fear .. we need to face it, find out what’s happening .. by the gentle phone call .. and often there’s some ‘disaster’ that’s happened that’s causing the delay.
We don’t communicate .. if we did it would help more – let people know what’s going on – it’s only polite .. I’ve been trying to sell something through a friend – well she set the ball in motion .. but then her contact never bothered to come back to her – I guessed that it wasn’t going to happen – and no shakes in my life – but she felt terrible and irritated because the woman hadn’t let her know, and therefore my friend couldn’t tell me .. but I wasn’t fussed and that made life easier.
People don’t take responsibility .. one phone call to ‘no thanks’ .. would have made a few peoples’ lives easier for a day or two .. wondering what was happening.
I’ve just tried to get hold of someone in the street to give them some more stuff .. and the door’s not being answered .. it irritates me .. but so be it!! I’m up here commenting instead!!
Go well .. and we can add to our own frustrations .. if we deal with it gently then all is often well .. warming hugs to you .. Hilary
Hilary´s last blog ..Hotspur- the Duchess and The Poison Garden
Dear Hilary, we cannot communicate well, you are spot on and being lovable means communicating info that adds value. So I support what you wrote here;
We all have learned bad behavior that supports the sleazy ego way of doing things and it certainly is NOT making us lovable. We tell white lies, we do not return phone calls, we say ‘yes’ and mean ‘no’ and on and on it goes and then we wonder why people get upset with us. When we learn to communicate, be in-integrity, be authentic and the wholesome ‘what is so’ we will all be love-in-action by default. I am convinced of that.
Yes, at the moment there is a lot of ungainly ego behavior around us and getting too upset about it will not serve anybody, so indeed Hilary, take care of yourself while you do your best to get things done. Hugs Wilma
Wilma,
Oh yea!!!!
I’ve always loved myself; yet I was raised in such a way that giving to myself at all was considered selfish so there were times i neglected myself although I still loved…
I learned to turn that around. I am living peace filled, joy filled, faith filled…and of course I could consistently live in such a way with ease if I were on a mountaintop, but I am not, I am in this Earthly world…
So, when I find myself less than peace filled, that is my sign to stop right there and make a huge block of time for nothing..a block of time to center back into my heart, a cleansing breath, whatever it is to allow me to continue my love affair with myself and this world…
It is important to me to share pure Energy, pure Love..so I make the time to grow that in my life..sharing less than pure with myself or others only helps the weeds to grow..I want each garden to blossom..beginning with mine..then sharing from my own abundance as I help tend others….
Again, I hadn’t always been that way, but nothing neglected can grow beauty..and I love beauty in my life…
Joy´s last blog ..An Unplanned Break…
Dear Joy, what you say here is sheer beauty.
Isn’t that sad that giving to yourself was considered selfish, oh my but I do admire that you were strong enough to still love yourself;
And if we were on a mountaintop or at sea, yes the mud of this earthly world would not touch us. However your love is strong, and how can we be honest when we only love others and not ourselves; that actually doesn’t make sense so saying that you love others is only honest when you love your self, otherwise it is the ego talking. All beautifully expressed Joy. Much love, Wilma
Wilma,
I absolutely love this post and I know it will do me great good. To answer your questions:
1.) I’ve only thought whether I was loveable in the context of Love in Action that you speak of a couple of times. I think I’ve mostly thought of whether I was friendly or likable and only recently have I thought about if I’m loveable. I will definitely be working on this.
2.) I believe I am open to support, but talking honestly is a whole other ball game when it comes to the ego. I feel like when I talk about things I’d like to do or what is important to me, I really have to make sure my ego is in check for what the other person’s response may be. I like that I keep it in check, but sometimes it’s hard and I feel sometimes like it’s unnatural.
3.) I try not to attack the people I love too much. My boyfriend and I are pretty passionate though so it does happen. We have our own views of things and I think we clash sometimes because we are worried that the other person doesn’t have the same views. It can definitely be exhausting.
I also must say that I loved that you thought about all the people you are inspiring when you became “Love in Action” again. That is such a brilliant move and I look forward to using it myself. To help create not only a better me, but a better world.
You rock Wilma!
Love,
Kristie
Dear Kristie, you rock too as I find your responses so encouraging. There is so much more to being love in action than as you say being nice and kind. Okay, that greases the wheel of interaction BUT is not the ultimate collaboration that needs to take place to have for example nature flourish as it once did.
We have 14 Topics in WomenLikeMe that all relate to being love in action and being lovable.
Being in integrity for example is being lovable, the oil spill is a result of all of humanity being collectively out of integrity and nature and we suffer greatly from that.
THAT oil disaster is the ultimate result of us being unlovable by our actions. Think about that!
I am so thrilled you see the bigger picture. Altering our behavior, will alter how we are BE-ing in this world and how we relate to each other, food, our environment and everything will become healthy again, I mean everything. We act unhealthy and that is what we can relearn, to act healthy again and then we will become lovable to everything in our world.
I am excited that you are starting to see the bigger picture here, much love to you Wilma