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Do you pay attention?
John paying attention to the tide.
Paying attention, being alert and performing at our best only happens when something is at stake, like in a crisis or getting safely home from a sailing trip. You too probably know the feeling, eyes see, ears hear, you are on full alert; you are awake and performing brilliantly, you are alive!
Does that mean that somehow in our daily life we do not pay attention, be alert and fully alive?
Yes, that is exactly what I mean! Marianne Williamson agrees as she keeps reminding us over and over again that we are not paying attention to the fact that we all have the ability to always perform like the brilliant, gorgeous, talented basecamps we all in principle are.
She often exasperates at how we are not taking ourselves seriously enough, how we are not working hard enough to be who we truly are, amazing capable beings who live brilliant wonderful lives and have glorious relationships.
Ouch, the halo seems to escape us . . . again!
I think she has a point and a big one at that.
When I met John I thought he was too serious. He did a lot of interesting things but everything he did, he did with intent. He paid attention to me, to what was going on around him and he always prepared whatever he did. My ego had a lot to say about that. I found him pedantic and anal and I thought I was actually more flexible and relaxed? Was I?
I remember a kayak trip with my daughters when I was proud of my laissez-faire attitude but totally unaware of the extent of my ignorance. We had never kayaked before and what was there to prepare anyway. It was on a calm river and we could stick a paddle in the water and move forward, couldn’t we?
Well, as it so happened, we could NOT, we did NOT do much kayaking at all because the river was tidal and there was no water in sight for miles. Sloshing through the mud soon lost its appeal, let me tell you that much. I was no longer relaxed either.
I saw how things can be done differently when I went kayaking with John years later. With him we left with water in the river and we arrived back with enough water in the river. When I commented that he was a lucky guy to have not made me walk in the mud as I have been there and done that and I would not take kindly to a repeat, he looked at me in amazement.
“Luck?”, he asked, “what has luck got to do with tides? They work on timetables and I knew exactly when we had to get back before the tide went out.”
“Oh, is that so?”, my ego type thoughts attacked; “My daughters and I were not unlucky; I was just ignorant and not anal enough, was I?”
In fact according to the wholesome ‘what is so’ which the ego never sees, yes I was and not only with kayaking either. I wasn’t paying much attention to anything at all; I wasn’t taking a lot of things very seriously back then and the results showed it.
If things didn’t work out, oh well bad luck. . . . What?
Yeah, yeah I know luck had often nothing to do with it, but that is what I thought back then, until of course I met John who took life seriously and paid attention.
Since that time I have had many eye opening moments, I no longer blame results on luck, bad or good.
My current great relationship is not a matter of luck. It is a result of paying attention and I have learned about setting boundaries, about Self-Care, knowing how to communicate and all the other skills that allow me to make life happen the way I want.
I am not kidding.
Paying attention means taking myself and my life seriously.
I had to get rid of my preference for laissez-faire in so many areas. Once I started paying attention I saw that I had a lot of learning to do, to give you an idea we have 14 topics in the WomenLikeMe program! Yes fourteen!
I am sharing a lot of what I have learned on this blog and I hope to God you are paying attention. Life is not about luck, life is about taking yourself seriously enough and seeing beyond the ego thoughts. Life is about making yourself a strong basecamp so you can create a brilliant life for you and your loved ones.
I have so much more to offer my precious girls now I am being brilliant, gorgeous and talented. I so wish for you the same.
Let’s see how much you pay attention to yourself and others;
- Are you aware of the people around you, their agendas, their manipulations, their victimhood?
- If you feel that in one particular relationship you are playing the martyr and not gaining anything but always giving, are you paying attention enough to commit to learning how to set boundaries, stand up for yourself, or are you just carrying on and accepting your bad luck?
- How much attention are you paying to your own life? Are you speaking cynical about your job, friends, your partner, family or yourself? If so, how come you are not paying enough attention to act so you can eventually talk positively about your job, friends, partner and yourself? It IS your life!
I am a stand for all of you to pay attention, to take yourselves seriously, to LIVE. Oh how I know the difference that that makes.
I quote Peggy Nolan from The Stepmom’s Tool Box as I couldn’t have said it any better.
I want to support you. But as I go about helping others, I realize that not all of you want help. As much as I want to bring all my sisters to a place of peace, harmony and greatness, not all of you want to go. That’s okay because your life is your choice. When you decide to join me on the happy side of life, I’ll be here –and here at WomenLikeMe.
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Wilma,
This is a great topic, as it is so easy to slip up and NOT pay attention…to not take our life (at a deep level) seriously. I like to think I do this, and yet – I also know (if I’m being honest with myself) that sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I’m not paying attention to what matters most, to my world around me, to the moment. …and I’m missing out.
Missing out on what IS possible if I am fully IN my life.
Lance´s last blog ..Sunday Thought For The Day
Oh Lance, in your healing you paid attention, you were fully present and look at what is available for us to experience when that happens, something profound and absolutely beautiful. Our ‘ordinary’ life should be that way too, every moment we should savior. But like food, we stuff our faces with moment after moment, without chewing and tasting, just get as much moments/food down the hatch as if nothing matters.
Until we free ourselves from that way of living life, until we are even aware of what we are doing and missing out on, things will not change. However moments like you have experienced and shared with us, at least give us an opportunity to see what is possible when we do pay attention.
We are too good to miss the good things, love Wilma
Hi Wilma! I think 95% of the time I’m prepared for what I’m doing (i.e. I would have checked the tides for kayaking and probably would have asked for instructions or taken a class — yeah, kinda anal?) and the other 5% I’m winging it and spontaneous. I had a prety strange childhoold (like not much kid stuff) and had to think like an “adult” early on – it became ingrained in me. And hubs is an Eagle Scout, always, always prepared altho of late I’m out-preparing him, haha!
This is such an important topic, Wilma. Living on auto pilot isn’t living – paying attention IS!
hugs
suZen
Oh SuZen, I come from the opposite as you. I had such a protected childhood and a society who takes care of everything, life just trucked on without me doing any thing other than showing up. So I was not that well prepared to take charge and to make things happen because when it wasn’t handed to me on a plate things were actually not available.
Oh out-preparing an Eagle Scout, do I hear some competitiveness there? What would mother duck say about that?
Oh I have so experienced this SuZen;
I make life happen now I pay attention and take action, the difference is remarkable.
I hope your ‘painting’ is coming along fine so you can do some real painting soon. Hugs Wilma
Haha – Mr. Eagle Scout forgot our anniversary and a few other key things of late. I’m not competitive as much as in shock I think.
Ouch, a visit to Mr Duck is in order for him, I’d say.
Hi Wilma,
I don’t pay enough attention to what’s happening around me because I am to preoccupied with all the thoughts and ideas inside my head, all the ‘why?’ and “how?’ and ‘what it means?’ questions.I need some alone time to figure things out, then I need even more of it. Sometimes I get annoyed when I am distracted from this thinking process, even if it’s by son who is asking for some attention. But I switch my mind and dive into the daily routine; before I know it all those very “important” questions shed their significance, they fade away. Maybe instead of thinking too hard, I could live “harder”? I fear that a lot of precious moments are lost because I was too absorbed in my own thinking.
Aysel´s last blog ..Because I am Angry
Dear Aysel;
Paralysis by analysis, yes the ego mind has its way to stop us from doing the most important thing and that is living and learning from experience. Oh my, the things that can come up while we are doing things and after we have done them, the judging during and afterwards can be enough to never ever get out of bed again.
That type of ego thinking has to stop, any thoughts that make us feel bad, fearful, inadequate, they have to stop as a preparation to live a full life. Our thinking is so corrupted and invaded by thoughts that are not good for us. I first found that hard to believe but that is how it is.
I love what you say here;
Oh Aysel, yes, we could live harder and learn to think more serving thoughts.
I am learning that healthy preparing is good, I am learning what healthy is. I am learning to think different thoughts and these discussions are helping to find out what different thoughts I want to take on to make me live a life that feels good.
There is a lot to unlearn and relearn, but it is worth it to let go of this;
Aysel thanks so much for sharing this, awesome, love Wilma
Hi Wilma,
This is the most essential topic. We don’t get to choose much, but we can choose where we put our attention – or if we put it anywhere. Your discovery of a conscious life is so beautifully described.
When I started paying attention, my life was transformed. I have gotten to the point where I don’t take one single thing for granted (although I do have lapses now and then, which don’t feel very good). Actually being present for my life is so rich – it is not about what I imagine and how I think things should be. It is about being alive to what is actually happening. When I stopped all the concepts, the struggle with reality ended. So much happiness…
Love, Gail
Gail Brenner (AFlourishingLife)´s last blog ..Still Attached? How to Have an Open Mind
Dear Gail.
Yes;
And yes paying attention makes for a conscious life.
When we pay attention we also can see how closed our minds are, how attached we are and how our fixed ego-type thoughts are misleading us, as you too describe in your post.
Oh Gail, when I started to pay attention, I finally got to see how far off the game I was, how many beliefs were not serving me, how my fixed thoughts were holding me back. At first I was offended by what I saw; how could an intelligent woman like me be so stupid, I wanted to duck for cover however once I got over that self defeating ego-talk and my false pride, the path to an open mind as you describe in your post was available to me. Thank God for that as life sure is so much richer for it.
Much love, Wilma
Hi Wilma .. I hope that once I’ve got through these difficult times and I can be me – then I’ll join you on WomenLikeMe .. and I’ll have time to think, do and act – rather than just get through .. I probably do pretty well, even though I say it myself, but I would like to get my brain back, and my time free .. so I can really be me & move on with the improvements I know I need to address ..
Paying attention is not the easiest .. I do my bit .. and I hope care when I’m talking with people .. I do say no .. because I simply haven’t been able to do more – but I’m getting on & moving forward and I can’t wish for anything else at the moment – others might, but I can’t help that .. I need me to be me & positive and ready for the future .. I will be ..
Go well – & I do love the pics at the top of the blog – they’re so clear .. I posted on Abeundance at Marelisa’s Blog ..about Roz Savage who’s rowing the Atlantic .. she landed on a coral island of 33 souls .. but it was Kiribati .. going towards Papua New Guinea where she is now .. I thought of John .. but he landed in Polynesia .. had to get the Atlas out to check the geography .. I’m slightly wiser & because I’ve posted about Cook & The Endeavour .. these links!!
Happy day tomorrow for you .. bye – Hilary
Hilary´s last blog ..Food, Food, Glorious Food … What could possibly go wrong …?
Oh Hilary, life actually is never on hold. Mandela in prison, Victor Frankl in a POW camp, both lived a full life and I actually would dare to say your life too is full on, your life is NOT on hold.
Hilary, the things you are faced with are enormous opportunities to have your ego challenged and you are indeed taking on the challenge even if you do not always see it that way. No wonder that your brain is fried, you have a lot of thoughts to adjust.
If your life would have gone the ‘normal’ way, like your brothers, I am convinced you would not be reading my blog and all the other blogs that challenge you to think and do life differently. That is why you also often say that you are alright and I know you are as you are taking on the challenge.
I believe what you say here;
You observation is so true; paying attention is NOT easy, so you are paying attention there. No, you cannot do more, how could you, what is left for you right now is to accept the wholesome ‘what is so’ and be patient. I have to be patient too to see how things unfold, we cannot force the plan of the Universe, although we have free will that doesn’t mean we can speed things up.
So yes, you are ready for the future, have faith Hilary that all will work out and do not let your ego-type thoughts interfere and make you backpaddle.
Hilary, you are experiencing a different life right now that gives you a chance to do things differently. Your life is not on hold, we are always full on in life, you ARE full on, look at what you are discovering. You are awesome, a big hug for you who is so learning to do things differently and I feel you are already on the program.
xox Wilma.
PS John’s coral atoll, Mopelia had only 6 people, he stayed there for 6 months and he had the most amazing adventures. Catching wild pigs live with a dog and bare hands and hitting sharks on the nose when they wanted to steal fish he had speared. Different life, different different than your life, but be aware that yours is not on hold but different too right now.
I think we have all been there at one point or another or in different aspects of our lives. I am increasingly in tune with my own life and aware of those around me but it wasn’t always like this. At points, it is easier not to see than to see; it is easier not to pay attention than to consider the reality of what is happening and have to live consciously in that awareness – to take responsibility for the choices we are making.
I have noticed, of late, that when my ego starts chattering, I trip or run into something or… there is a physical reminder to wake up and let go… and this is the story of my life. I like to think that God has a great sense of humor as whenever I start in on the ego chatter… God lets it go for so long and then says “Baste!” and I find myself yanked into the real world with some kind of incident that leaves me laughing… oh yeah, it isn’t all about me… oh yeah, this is what is really going on… oh yea, if I am complaining then it is time to do something about it… live consciously – take actions, make choices, this is my life and I get the one shot to live as fully in it as I can.
Hi TE,
You say;
I would go a bit further and say most of us are never ever paying attention and will always stay there.
The world would not be in this state if we did. We soon would all see the insanity of it. Eckhart Tolle, Marianne Williamson, Jesus, Buddha, they all tell us to pay attention to their message, to how insane the world around us is, but do we?
So a big hug for what you say here;
That is very astute. Peggy said to me in an email once that we are often offended when people point that out to us, and yes our ego-mind sees that as an attack and straight away we are closed down and change of view becomes impossible. What we get is war, not open-mindedness
I think you are to be congratulated that you actually can see what is happening here;
Most of us get reminder upon reminder and still do not see it for what it is, they see the economic collapse as bad luck, they see redundancy as unfair, they do NOT see it as an opportunity for change.
It is absolutely to your credit that you can. We need to cherish women like you as you will be one of the Western women that will save the world according to the Dalai Lama. Dear TE, something needs to change, we cannot go on like this, we need to wake up and let that ego chatter go indeed.
I so hope you have enough support to sustain these wonderful thoughts in your daily doing. Hugs Wilma
Luck is when preparation meets opportunity
For the past 2.5 years I’ve been preparing myself to become a yoga teacher. I started teaching as soon as I had my first 200 hour level certification. And I turned around and started my 500 hour certification right away. I graduated with that on Sunday.
For the past 3.5 years I’ve been preparing myself to become a first degree black belt. To become who I want to become it’s all about the preparation…and the doing! Luck has nothing to do with it…
And in preparing to become a black belt and a certified yoga teacher, I have to pay attention…there is no sliding by on my good looks or winning smile. And because I pay attention here, I pay attention everywhere else – first and foremost – to the relationships I have with the people I love.
How you do anything is how you do everything.
Love,
Peggy
Peggy´s last blog ..Accentuate the Positive!
HI Peggy, dear friend, beautifully said;
CONGRATULATIONS with your graduation, awesome and yes it has been all your doing that made this happen.
I am getting that so loud and clear these days, when you are prepared then you are indeed ready when the universe hands over their contribution as well. It is like not having a drivers licence and then wanting and getting a car. Not much use is it?
Ha; those times of sleaziness are over thank goodness.
And that is how all areas in your life are starting to work out and your life is pumping and that is so beautiful to witness and such an inspiration to keep learning what you are learning.
Huge hugs and I am so inspired to see all that is accomplished by another Western woman who will save the world. The Dalai Lama would be proud of you too. xox Wilma
Hi Wilma,
Oh dear I’m into Facebook and texting these days and I’m not paying attnetion like I used to because I get these things on my phone…
My name is Tess and I need help…;)
Hahaha Tess, you have to laugh otherwise it actually can become too painful.
Oh AA for ego-type distraction addictions, not a bad idea. Where shall we meet, on FB?
My name is Wilma and I need help . . .
Hi Wilma,
I had to come back for a visit. I saw your response on Joy’s site and realized you have winter when we have summer…so how’s the fire?
Yeah AA for social media recover including cell phones and texting;) OMG it’s insane…and I’m not even good at it yet. Maybe I won’t ever be. I heard a minister say what if we were aware of the bible (insert own thing) as we are of our texting, social media etc?
I thought that was profound! I assume we could prepare ourselves or change anything in our lives if we were that dedicated.
Anyway enjoy the fire! xxoo
Hi Wilma – You made me laugh, because I’m sometimes known as the anal one in my relationship. But your story also reminded me of the J/P attitude on the Myers-Briggs: a preference to be planful vs. a preference to be spontaneous. Sounds like John has really opened you up to develop that other part of yourself. But I’m just betting you’ve done the same for thing for him! That’s what’s so amazing about relationships, how we really do get the opportunity to move towards wholeness if we’re willing to see that there’s more to it than just “my way.” As for me, I used to be much less planful, and probably would have been trying to kayak in the mud like you. That is, until I started teaching. Then I realized that the students expected me to be organized, have a plan, know where we were going with the material. All that. That was my wake-up call. Thanks for the great post Wilma, and hugs to you!
Patty – Why Not Start Now?´s last blog ..Meaning Mondays: Between Gratitude and Grief Edition
No, I would have never seen you as anal, so there you have it, we always make assumptions about people don’t we?
I like this;
That is where the win/win lies for sure, that is what makes relating to people a collaborative action, if only we let it!
If we take note of who we are playing with we can indeed learn a lot, like you as the teacher learned from your interactions with students, the parent can learn from their children and women from women.
Oh if we were not such stick in the muds, if we only could be shaken lose of our fixedness, we would progress a whole lot faster.
Best wishes with Leo, hugs Wilma
Hi Wilma .. thanks for the thumbs up .. I wouldn’t have coped as well as I have with these last few years without this input .. very grateful.
Thanks for letting me know it was Mopelia .. six souls and the six months – I know it was different (totally!) .. it was the geographical link I was making .. as a piece of information I still know little about .. but I do at least know where they are (vaguely!) .. Enjoy today .. xxoo Hilary
Hilary´s last blog ..Food, Food, Glorious Food … What could possibly go wrong …?
You are very welcome Hilary, you deserve all the input you are willing to receive. I love your honesty, all this is very hard to understand and act upon.
.
I have no sense where things are either, I thought that New Zealand was near Greenland and I am so grateful it is NOT. I also like Google Earth, relax,we just look it up Hilary, we just look it up
Hi Wilma .. gosh glad NZ isn’t near Greenland .. in fact I haven’t used Google Earth – perhaps I should .. I am relaxed – but I don’t like to not know .. and a simple quick look up is easy – sometimes I get defeated and give up – remember my Ma was always sending me home to google or Wiki .. & my uncle was constantly getting up and looking in reference books .. I guess I’ve absorbed the family interest of knowing! Even if it’s late in life … have fun & a smiley back .. can’t do those either .. byeeee
Hilary´s last blog ..Food, Food, Glorious Food … What could possibly go wrong …?
Oh yeah. Paying attention. It’s a collaborative effort wiht a cast of characters that include the mind, emotions, intuition and anything else un-cerebral.
It seems we learn (or not) not only the how but also the what, when and why. There’s so much beauty that goes unnoticed and yet aslo just as much bs that gets airtime. But hey, we would be gods and goddesses and not human if we got everything right.
Dear Belinda, indeed we ARE god and goddesses if only we stopped paying attention to the ego-type thoughts and started to pay attention to the intelligence of the heart.
The ego gets us in such trouble and yet it will NEVER be able to admit that by its very nature that is arrogant, a know-it-all, defensive and easily offended.
And yes thus we waste our time;
There is so much more beyond what the ego-type thoughts can think of, our imagination, our aspirations, our dreams beyond the ego can indeed be those of god and goddesses. But until we can go beyond, we play small and stay human and whimper and whine and we keep asking God for what we already have.
From one goddess to another, much love, Wilma
Oh Amen Wilma, Amen…brilliant!!!! Standing ovation….
To all of it..thank you for sharing:)
There was a moment in life that I began paying attention. Living mindfully present. Living through my senses, fully Alive and Alert. Since that moment, I pay attention, boy do I pay attention. i lead with my heart, I know when to work, play, rest, share, save…. Since then, though, there are moments that my mind pops back on, and I lose my place–temporarily..those days I feel “lost”. I know then to pull back, touch base with basics and re-align myself…..When I am healthy and whole, what I share is pure and good, And *that* is my absolute best.
Joy´s last blog ..Monday Blessing: Days Like This…
Oh Joy, it is a difference of light and day isn’t it. According to John people who live on boats learn to pay attention as the elements make you. There is a saying that as soon as you sailors start living on land you become dumb as you loose being so attentive. Makes sense.
We really are too slack in making the most of this wonderful existence and I agree that this is how it can be when you do pay attention;
No more confusion about what to do, no more wasting time with moves that are reactive rather than pro-active, you become a strong basecamp leading your own life from knowing rather than copying.
Go Joy go, you are a true sailor, steering your own yacht, your own life confidently and understanding flow and trust, much love Wilma
Wilma: Great post. I think this is such an important topic because when you figure out how to really pay attention to life and embrace what is right in front of you, life can really be experienced in so many amazing ways. It is easy to become distracted or to not pay enough attention to what is right in front of you, but once you realize that is an issue and choose to be 100% engaged in the moment, everything changes and improves. Thanks for the great insights.
Sibyl – alternaview´s last blog ..How to Be Immune to Unfair Criticism
HI Sibyl, yes in theory that all sounds amazing doesn’t it? Just like eating healthy, take more time out, don’t worry, be present. But my biggest question is still, how come we know all this but NOT doing it? I personally am still amazed at my inability to be consistent. It is like Tess said, in a way we are addicted to our busy non-paying-attention ways, just like an addict need its fix we need our fix of business so we can dissipate our fear. Oh Sibyl, I really want to point out it is NOT an easy assignment, we can say the words but not DO them. I do agree,
The onuses is on IF WE COULD. And we still can’t in my HONEST observation. xox Wilma
I think Jason is very much the same way. Very planned. Slow thinker, but thorough. I get a little impatient as I am more impulsive, but in the end his planning and his thoughts ground me. I think our differences are complimentary. I used to go through my days thinking – this is it? – this is all there is? So much changed when I found joy in my heart and discovered true living in the moment. Now I can appreciate the planning and schedules that bring to fruition accomplishments.
Great post Wilma!
Angelia Sims´s last blog ..Unedited Garden
Dear Angelia, isn’t it great when we pay attention to the differences rather than make them wrong. A lot is to be gained as you say when we are alert and aware;
If we pay attention there is indeed so much more, there is so much more to life than we currently harvest. I think we are not getting 1% out of life because we do only pay attention to doing things the ego way, a way that destructs and reacts rather than creates and is pro-active. Oh Angelia, there is so much more I do agree and even if you feel you are gaining, like you and I do there is always another level to discover, another level to go to until the ego thoughts are really replaced by pure love.
Until then, let’s keep observing and making changes for the better. Much love to you and Jason and you paying attention to your wedding and each other. Hugs Wilma
Hi Wilma
Fantastic thoughts and loved your experiences too.
Awesome job for abandoning luck. It is amazing, isn’t it, how many of us use that word and its opposite as an excuse or explanation for the way things are, instead of looking for that deeper meaning to it all. It is there, and you and John found it in your kayaking exerience.
I think I used to pay attention less a few years ago than I do now. I used to not care one bit about politics, and world events, etc… that much at all. Life was life, and as most of us, I was happy to just keep the things and people around me in some sort of understanding and meaning.
Well, as my thinking has been changing, and my eyes and heart opening over the last few years, I have begun to pay attention even more. I wouldn’t say to everything though. I am sure there are many areas where my attention is not what it can be. But overall these days (and this has interestingly been accelerating in the past few months) I have moved into the observer role more and more.
Pay attention by observing and not getting attached.
I want to know what is going on, because you said it – preparation is key. We cannot blame our circumstances if we do not even attempt to prepare for them. So paying attention, by observing has become who I am today. It is expanding always, and it feels really good.
I know we are at a pivotal time on our planet from many levels and reasons, and I know this is a critical time to pay attention both internally and externally.
Evita Ochel´s last blog ..Spas, Spirit and Lasting Wellness: How to Make That Great Spa Feeling Last
Oh Evita, big hug for this. Yes I agree;
As I said in my other comment to you, we are already in ‘Heaven on Earth’ if only we would pay attention. We would be very healthy if only we would pay attention to some honest agricultural gardening books who say that even our home grown veggies miss nutrition because the soil is depleted. We hear the same things here from people who have been saving old heritage original fruit trees, for when we will once again pay attention to what we are eating. The heritage fruit trees are producing fruit that tastes soooooo much better and fills me up. Oh Evita, yes paying attention to the world around us, how far it has gotten itself in a mess is certainly motivating me to be in action.
I am careful not to pay too much attention to bad news and politics though, it will need to follow a course and it is what it is today. I do pay attention though to be as in-integrity and congruent in all areas in my own life as much as I can muster in each moment. That means always paying attention to my motives, making sure that I add value, if there is a win/win for everybody and if I am eating the best available food and looking after my peacefulness. When I am a strong basecamp I hopefully will send some ripples of goodness and at least I am doing my part in healing the earth with good gardening practices. Machaelle Small Wright and many other great gardeners say that the earth feels all the healing hands of these gardeners, so I trust ours help the earth too to heal.
These are exciting times, there is so much opening up that we can do in a practical sense that will help us see that we are in ‘Heaven on Earth’, we just have to find and open the gate. Much love Wilma
Wilma,
Great topic and wonderful comments! Wow, this one hits between the eyes. I’ve been so self-involved lately between my surgeries, that I had been neglecting my relationship with my boyfriend…who had been shouldering a lot of the care-taking of both ME and our very old and blind dog. In short, I wasn’t paying attention to my relationship or my life, but rather was wrapped up in my own ego concerns.
JC and I had a good talk recently and it felt good to listen to him tell me what he needed, which was mainly a break from both me and the dog:~) So, today he’s off with his buddy playing golf.
I felt so much better when I stopped and paid attention to him, as he’s a very important part of my life:~)
Sara´s last blog ..Political Change: Do It Yourself!
Dear Sara, awesome paying attention;
You had a good excuse of course, surgeries and all that and yet, you did realize in time that you were NOTalone. It is interesting how in times of need we disconnect and pull down the shutters while collaboration and seeing beyond your own little ego concerns would be so much more beneficial. It sometimes sounds very confusing and the ego of course cannot see this when it only sees this;”how come I cannot look after myself first, I am the one who is sick after all. I have no energy to look after my caregivers as well.”
And all that was needed was this;
Oh Sara, well done and yes there is energy coming in when you give energy out,
When we can go past our stingy ego thoughts and pay attention to the wholesome ‘what is so’ we are so much more prosperous.
Much love to you and your recovery which will speed up I am sure now you pay attention :~), xox Wilma
Wilma,
I am always trying to force myself to be aware, to pay attention to what is going on around me. I think I do a pretty good job most of the time, but there are those periods where you brain is on overload and it seems as though you can’t get any piece and quiet with your ego around. It’s the most frustrating thing, but I have to tell it to “shut up!” ha!
I also find that I have two concepts that pull against me and they are the concept of:
You better take your life seriously and live with intent to make your dreams come true
and
If you take life too seriously, you’ll never get out alive.
I think I’m usually serious about my life, because I have serious issues that I’m concerned with and serious dreams that I’d like to go after. I also have a goofy side and one that can be very laid back and let things unfold as they will. It’s weird, I think the dueling personalities may work…or maybe it’s just because I’m a Gemini? haha.
Thanks for the reminder to wake up and pay attention though. When someone catches my focus, it brings me back
Dear Kristy, you are saying a lot here.
Yes, there is an enormous amount of noise around us that will take our thoughts away from the authentic ones that can only come to the fore when we are still and quiet.
At least you are aware and that is a very good start. One of the major things on WomenLikeMe is observing how busy your life is and how that is making you live on automatic. It is astounding how busy everybody is and how little time there is for reflection.
What you say here is NOT exclusive of each other, they can go together.
I totally agree with you; life is to be taken serious. It is your life and paying attention IS important, there are horrendous things happening. The oil spill is NOT acceptable. However a lot of people cannot see how they can deal with what they see so they rather close their eyes and tell you to not take everything so serious either.
Seeing ‘what is so’ doesn’t have to spiral us in hopelessness, in thinking we have to single handedly solve these problems. Again our ideas are so screwed up. Seeing and then doing what you can do is what is the best strategy, anything however small helps, but most people cannot even see that, so they do nothing.
AND life can still be joyful and yes even if you can see how seriously off the game we are, you can still enjoy life, goof around and go with the flow. Is the Dalai Lama serious about life, you bet, does he goof around, you bet, does he do things, you bet, does he go with the flow, you bet. Going with the flow is doing your thing when it is time to do your thing and when there is nothing to do goof around.
BTW; Nature and the earth are extremely resilient, as soon as we stop dominating and learn to collaborate with nature the clean up is done in no time.
I trust this is useful, Love Wilma
Wilma,
I love that you say that nature and earth are resilient and that once we can collaborate and see how we’ve been mistreating it, it will bounce back. That makes me happy
I only hope that we can come together soon.
I also love what you say about the Dalai Lama. I LOVE him! His words were the first ones that made me really reassess my life. I will never forget the feeling I got after reading “The Art of Happiness”. He is so purposeful and aware and also very fun loving and I love that.
Thanks Wilma, your wise words always help me
You are welcome and it is amazing that you actually pay attention to the words. I am thrilled you do. There is enormous intelligence in nature and in paying attention you can see the intelligence in some people too. That is all that is needed, take your time to look around instead of rushing around doing menial tasks. I so love that you pay attention. xox Wilma