Comments on: Listening beyond what your ego wants to hear.

By: Wilma

Wilma — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 21:06:12 +0000

Oh Dorothy, welcome to the club, what you say here is how it was for me;

My ego would not hear that I could be “stupid” and “gullible” enough to fall prey to an emotional, sociopathic manipulator like my ex..

Totally and utterly fooled I was too.
Dorothy, I recommend you on only taking 14 month, it took me 28 years to finally go beyond my ego, and I am no longer ashamed to admit that I, an intelligent woman was fooled for that long.
At least we know the culprit now, the ego, a very very mighty opponent indeed.
Dorothy, you are becoming one fabulous strong basecamp with these skills;

So instead of my ego, I am now listening to my gut, my instinct, my intuition. I let my ego have its sulk, but don’t let it over-rule my innate knowledge of what is right.

Yes, we all have innate knowledge, we have an indigenous ME whose intelligence far exceed that one of the ego.
Dorothy, you make my heart sing, there is a way out, there is a cure, once we have these explanations all we need is practice and support to keep going.
Love Wilma

By: Dorothy

Dorothy — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 11:34:18 +0000

Hi Wilma,

My ego refused to hear for about 14 months that I was a victim of family violence. My ex-husband didn’t hit me, didn’t yell at me, didn’t force me to do anything I didn’t want to do. Yet, one after another, people I met during that time straight away told me that I was being emotionally and psychologically abused. And they hadn’t even met him or heard any of my story. They just met me and looked into my eyes.

My ego would not hear that I could be “stupid” and “gullible” enough to fall prey to an emotional, sociopathic manipulator like my ex. And yet with time, with more and more evidence that just could not be explained away, I finally realised the truth. My ego was very bruised, but it had to admit that it was indeed fooled.

So, when I read your blog, Wilma, I immediately thought that, yes, my ego doesn’t listen. It protects itself from harm, it does not want to think itself wrong.

So instead of my ego, I am now listening to my gut, my instinct, my intuition. I let my ego have its sulk, but don’t let it over-rule my innate knowledge of what is right.

Thank you for bringing this up…
Dorothy´s last blog ..Fed up with myself…

By: Wilma

Wilma — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 21:54:15 +0000

Oh Belinda, your honest reflection is endearing. It is so human to want to be heard first before we can feel generous enough to listen to others, We cannot give what we have NOT, we cannot give listening when indeed we feel we have had no listening ourselves.
For good listening requires a strong basecamp, it required first self growth in which we have learned to listen to ourselves, to our needs. So yes listening requires a lot more than two ears, it is a skill based on a solid foundation of self worth, self love and peacefulness.
You did listen well though, you did pick that up because you say;

I feel like I need first to be listened to before I can fully listen. And maybe that’s it. I need to feel heard in order to hear.

It is that simple and yet it isn’t . . . because how many of us are really working hard to get to a strong basecamp full of self worth and peace so we have room to listen, really listen?
Thank you for listening, really listening, love Wilma

By: Wilma

Wilma — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 21:44:59 +0000

Oh Hilary, when times get tough like in your life, wow battling the ego as well is a huge ask, I agree wholeheartedly.
So first and foremost Hilary, be gentle on yourself, there is apparently enough beating you going on without you joining the fray as well. AND of course the ego is right in there, ego loves controversy, fights, right / wrong and chaos.
So finding peace in the midst of this chaos is really hard and very hard to do without support. So for what it is worth, you have my love and hugs and when in tough times when it is hard to keep your head above water, you are spot on, just focus on daily doing is enough. AND nurture yourself, take a wonderful glass of wine and never ever be stingy in the department of looking after yourself once in a while. Do not feel guilty, just pamper yourself whenever you get a chance.
Lots of love to you, and just you today, xox Wilma

By: Wilma

Wilma — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 21:38:11 +0000

Oh Tess, what a mighty opponent the ego is. Incredible really, and it shows that ego alert is the way to go. And what a blessing that you do have the skill to be on ego alert, as you and Roger have not underestimated the ego and worked hard on those skills. And as a result you and Roger rock, and you show us how life can be done. You have a wonderful holiday, I know you will and indeed Amen to that, my BFF. Now go and have much fun, xox Wilma