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Wilma on The past only exists as thoughts
Rotterdam, past city life that now only exists in my thoughts.
This Monday’s post; ‘Giving myself a second chance in life‘ was one of the most interesting posts I’ve written. Interesting because the idea that the past does not exist, the idea that it only exists as thoughts in our heads and nothing more, flies in the face of what we have always been taught, what seems to be as obvious as the world is round. So you can imagine my joy, not only at your comprehension but that you deepened this inquiry still further.
SuZen gave us a very clear example of what her life would look like if her past was still living on as thoughts in her daily life when she said:
I was abused as a child, had a VERY heartbreaking succession of gut wrenching sagas. To cling to ANY of that – in any way – does me absolutely NO good, not physically, mentally or emotionally. The thoughts of those stories can fester for decades, all the while depriving us of being who were are meant to be and short changing some relationships. I am SO blessed to have packed the stories up and abandoned them as having any connection to me and my life today.
I thank Eckhart Tolle’s books; ‘The Power of Now’ and ‘A New Earth’ for both his explanation that the past can only be kept alive by our thoughts and also his clarity in alerting us to the cost of bringing our past thoughts into the ‘now’. I agree with him that a new earth is only possible once we let go of our clinging need for the past to validate us.
Chris captured our ‘need for identity’ as the driver for hanging on to past as a form of validation;
it’s difficult to let go of constantly rehashing old moments that we cringe about. I get the sense that these moments of guilt or humiliation give us a perversely comforting sense of identity — at least they allow us to say “oh, I know who I am, I’m that guilty jerk.” Letting go of the need to have an identity — to know all these facts about who I supposedly am — can be such a liberating experience,
Dayle too recognized the culprit;
…boy did my ego rear up it’s ugly head! My ego said “What do you mean you have to let go of those stories? Those stories define you! You are that sad little girl who was abused by her mother. You are the survivor of a divorce and your failed relationship(s) contributed to who you are today. You can’t let go of those things. They are you.
Yes ego, how right you are, those past based thoughts define you ego and yes; “you can’t let go of those things” because if you did, you ego would die and ego doesn’t want to die!!!
Lisa added further clarity by saying;
I feel it is the essence of the spiritual journey. In a way, that freedom to follow a story or not, to let it take hold of us or let it go, is the ultimate [act of] free will. And the story is karma, it is what we really mean when we talk about karma. And we can move beyond karma. We do not have to be beholden to it, we can be free of it… And when we are ultimately able to let go of all the stories, we can see our true, ultimate selves – ourselves as divine source, as enlightenment itself. The spiritual journey is a shedding of stories that kept us tied to the past, and to a fixed idea of ourselves.
Sounds good to me; free of karma, free to see our true self, our self as divine source, free of any and all fixed ideas of self.
Erin too sees letting go the past as a spiritual journey involving forgiveness; forgiving ourselves and all that has gone before.
We are treading a fine line in this conversation between theory and practical daily life. Theory is all very well but what is different in daily life? Sara’s example caught that for us with her mother and daughter example;
one night she [my mom] shared her fears about going on her first date with a man she really liked. I was only about sixteen and just starting to date, myself. We shared our uncertainties and I even gave her advice about what to wear:~) It was the first time I remember seeing my mom as a woman, like me, and not just my mom. I’ve never forgotten that time. Perhaps our daughters will reach this moment and see us as the women we are now.
To see our mothers as woman requires being present to who they are today and letting go of our fixed past thoughts of ‘mom’.
Aysel further alerted us to the potential the past has to recreate itself in our daughters when she recounted her story;
My sister first feeds her husband and kids, then sits down to eat herself claiming she has to finish up after them anyway. What kind of a lesson will her children learn from that – that Mom’s needs are the last to be satisfied?
We can just see that her daughter’s role model is very clear; as mother I come last. What is even sadder about situations like this is that they come from love, from doing what seems the best but unaware that daughters are watching, absorbing and saving these memories to be trotted out when their turn to be ‘mother’ comes around.
To see the past for what it is and let it go, to let go of our ego and the seemingly endless cycle of karma, to as Tolle says; “bring about a new earth”, is in my opinion the most important opportunity we can offer our children.
Again I invite you to embrace the practice from the Monday post and observe how often your thoughts go back to the past and how often you talk about the past. Observing how the past has a hold on you is the first step to letting it go.
A useful second step (even if you have already read them) is to read Tolle’s books; ‘The Power of Now’ and ‘A New Earth’.
PS I am taking a break from posting for two weeks to enjoy the last of the Golden Weather here in New Zealand. I will next post on Monday April 12.
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27 Comments to “Wilma on The past only exists as thoughts”
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Enjoy your break Wilma and the wonderful golden weather. I will be thinking of you and wishing you well, happy, and content as can be.
Angelia Sims´s last blog ..Mom in Show
Thanks Angelia, how can I NOT soak it all up with such encouragement. I will certainly know that you are thinking of me when I feel a warm ray of sunshine, xox Wilma
Hi Wilma,
Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy — soak it up!
Good for you for taking a break. Fill your cup, lovely.
Your post about letting go of the past if very poignant for me. Since my MS relapsed, I’ve had to learn to let go of my former athletic self and accept my limitations. For me, once I started letting go of my former “me” and started celebrating all that I *can* do, my outlook markedly improved (is improving).
Thanks for the reminder and for this important message.
Cheers!
Lori
Lori (JaneBeNimble)´s last blog ..Book Review: What Should I Do With the Rest of My Life?
Hi Lori, I will, I will, I will let go of my work driven self and embrace the relaxed soaking it up one.
Oh Lori, it is certainly not something that is always easy to do especially if the past IS attractive. It is not even easy when you want to let go of something you do want to let go, but oh boy when it is something you do not want to lose it is a different matter.
I can do believe that it will help to accept the current ‘you’ when you can appreciate what you *can* do, and for that my friend I congratulate you. THAT is a real amazing do-ing and you set such an example by who you are being.
Sending love to you, Wilma
Have a wonderful break Wilma! You’ve given us all so much to think about (and in such a positive way). I remember reading in one of Tolle’s books that (and I’m paraphrasing) – The past doesn’t exist and the future we can imagine can only be based on our past experiences and that’s why we need to stay in the Now. Isn’t it exciting to think that our futures are limitless and, without the trappings of the past, we are free to recreate ourselves and to be open to endless possibilities?! The personal positive mantra I’m going to use to summarize all of this for myself is:
Dream Big. Why not?
Dayle´s last blog ..Day 33. Getting rid of my roommate
Oh Dayle, I love how you are taking this on board to indeed dream big!
Imagine Dayle, if we all could let go of our limitations and we all fly free from any past.
I sure am going to be with you all the way, DREAM BIG, make the best possible future happen. I am going to spend my break doing just that. Hugs to you, Wilma
Hi Wilma,
Have a wonderful time enjoying the Golden Weather! And enjoy being away from the computer. Woo hoo!
We went to Florida for an entire week and neither one of us brought a computer. It was wonderful because it really allowed me to look at everything that is going on in my life from a wider angle and really expanded my horizons on so many levels. It was a wonderful week. It truly cleared my head and now I see the road ahead very clearly.
And amen for the past only living as thoughts! The past is gone and only gets re-lived when we think about things or remember certain events. That is why living in the moment is so vital because that is all that matters….this single moment!
Once again, have a wonderful break! Enjoy every second!
Nadia – Happy Lotus´s last blog ..Passion…It’s A Way of Life
HI Nadia, yes woohoo indeed. We live in such a beautiful world and it is a shame to not fully taste it, isn’t it. Just soak it all up without any duties or obligations, just roam free woo hoo indeed.
Good on you for having done the same. It took me a while to understand this whole concept of letting the past go, but once you get it it becomes really clear and understandable. It is also very powerful to know we can start afresh any moment, I sure like that when I look at some of the mistakes I have made. Oh if I was to be beholden to past actions I would be a miserable prisoner of my mind.
And good on you for finding your own path, we are all waiting with abated breath. Love Wilma
Hi Wilma! Ahhh, a much needed break – have a ball, relax and go with the flow! I’m getting one too – a week in the Caribbean and I need it too! Let’s both come back refreshed and inspired for the “next chapter” whatever it is!
I’m touched that you highlighted my comment. I really hope that the people clinging to their past learn to let go of it! It is NO kind of foundation to build the house of NOW on! It is all soooo mental and you can simply choose not to keep thinking of it. I wonder if the simplicity of this eludes some?
Anywayyyyyy, have a super time!
hugs
suZen
SuZen your comment was sooooo helpful as you can see. We need all the support from each other to get this, it is so important just as eating good food. We need to stop all this toxicity in our lives, it is killing us mentally and physically.
Oh yes, a break is wonderful and how cool you are having one too. We will communicate our bliss to each other by sending waves of sheer enjoyment , I am sure.
I had to laugh about what you said here; I wonder if the simplicity of this eludes some?
Our mind, our ego loves to complicate things and yes the simplicity of it is profound once you get that that is what it is. Stop having thoughts about the past and move on, eat good food and get healthy, have good thoughts and life flows, THAT might just ask too much responsibility!
My friend have a wonderful time too, Caribbean sounds so exotic, big hug Wilma
Wilma,
Enjoy the Golden Weather! Down time is so very, very important!
I love Tolle’s book, “The Power of Now” – I’ve got so many notes in my journal from it!
The past does not exist except in our thoughts. Memories of past experiences, past “NOW” moments keep us trapped in turmoil. Even if something bad happened years and years ago, we hold onto it like it happened a moment ago. Gosh, if I held onto all my past experiences, I’d be a basket case. My birth mother was physically abusive – instead of perpetuating the cycle and playing victim, I chose to learn from it and not abuse my children.
Enjoy the sun!!
Peggy´s last blog ..My Winning Short Story
Hi Peggy, oh I will enjoy it alright.
Yes ‘The Power of Now’ is such an amazing book, and as SuZen and I said, despite it simplicity it takes some doing to really get it. Well it did for me.
Wow, and you are so spot on, imagine if you let the past have a hold on you, I shudder to think of it. And Peggy so good on you to let go and NOT blame everything on your childhood and let the painbody be triggered land make you a puppet of the past.
And imagine what a gift you give your daughters to NOT repeat the cycle, not let them be puppets of a past that isn’t even theirs.
I am so eternally grateful to have these explanations that give us a chance to become aware and from there live life differently and how we choose it!
And thank you, I will soak up that sun. xox Wilma
HI Wilma,
I am gonna catch up on the last few posts I missed while youre on your much needed break
And these comments brought tears to my eyes….As mother as a woman as a human being…..I hope pray and practice…from my words and my conduct that my daughter reaches a stage where she sees me for what I am. Not what I am supposed to be….
So much love…and have fun…
Z~
Zeenat{Positive Provocations}´s last blog ..Invest for Eternity
Oh Zeenat, it is hard to imagine when your daughter is as little as she is now, that your relationship can ever get strained and it might never happen. The main thing for me has been to realize that nothing is permanent and there is always a possibility. The main thing is NOT to get stuck in what has happened in the past and to go for what you desire.
Enjoy the catch up my friend while I frolic in nature. Lots of love, Wilma
Wilma, enjoy the Golden Weather. I look forward to enjoying your posts again in April.
Hope you are creating just the memories you wish for yourself.
Evening greetings to you from the mountains in Japan – Catrien Ross.
Catrien Ross´s last blog ..Catrien Ross on Stretching Your Potential Through the Real Power of Intention to Direct Your Energy Flow
Hi Catrien, thank you so much and I will make sure that I will have lovely thoughts about this time in the future.
You enjoy your beautiful mountains, love Wilma
Hi Wilma .. how fantastic .. have a lovely fortnight and break away just being. Sounds absolutely gorgeous .. presumably the autumn colours are so wonderful to be amongst. Be at peace and savour every moment – I’m sure you are – because I guess you must be on yourholidays right now!!
Our past shapes us, but doesn’t need to cloud our future. I thought my past was past – but in recent weeks it’s come back to haunt me live now. I have to say I don’t think I could cope without the experiences people have told us about .. and how they adjusted, how they worked it through, and now how with your help we’re all looking at things with different compassionate eyes. We are people – we deserve to be. I honestly think my life is being lived upside down .. I never thought later in life I’d be struggling – but at least I have the power of knowledge through many of my blogging friends to draw strength & another important point I have an outlet in my blog – which is providing me with the asset base for my future.
Thank goodness summer is coming (at least I guess it is – it has done for millions of years .. so even though we’ve had the gloomiest and still snowy of winters .. the light will shine through) .. as will my life: I just need to work through it with a positive outlook and attitude – strengthening my resolve and self all the while.
Hugs and thoughts for your fortnight of change enjoying the last of the summer wine?! Warm reds on your return .. hugs galore to you both .. Have fun – Hilary
Hilary´s last blog ..Chess, one of 100 objects, Northern Sea Trading Routes, India and Persia …
Hi Hilary. We are staying at home to enjoy our garden and the surrounding bush without feeling pressured when attending to things there. I must say that it is bliss to potter around and finally completing all these little tasks that have been waiting.
I love what you are saying here,
Yes, we have been taught life should be a certain way, work hard while losing sense of oneself and then retire financially comfortable but without a sense of self and feelings of accomplishments.
Oh Hilary, I do understand how difficult it is when life is all of a sudden so different from what you expected it to be. You are doing so well with your quest to see it as something positive and another way of living life. Sometimes these drastic changes in circumstances are to teach us, although when you are in the middle of it, it doesn’t seem that way, does it?
You hang in there and you are sooo generous, you deserve a break yourself big time and yet here you are wishing us a wonderful break. You are the best and big hugs, Wilma
Thanks Wilma – lovely you’re at home .. and just enjoying being. Have a glorious time – peace, relaxing, pottering .. lovely word, and enjoying the autumn blessings and harvest …. kayaking around too .. I think you said somewhere! .. have fun – hugs Hilary
Hilary´s last blog ..Chess, one of 100 objects, Northern Sea Trading Routes, India and Persia …
Wilma, enjoy your break (I got here late, so perhaps you won’t see this until you return, in which case – I hope it was nice!) And I will be monitoring my thoughts of the past…
Lisa (mommymystic)´s last blog ..The Body-Mind-Spirit Mandala or 7 Shades of Bliss
Hi Lisa. Just a quick update in the morning and then John and I are off into the garden or kayaking in the wilderness. Thanks for your wishes and good on you to monitor your thoughts. I am curious what you will find out. My thoughts are definitely NOT always in the present, it is amazing where I am catching them now I am aware. Love Wilma
Hey there Wilma!
Yes, this is all so true and I myself was as moved by Eckhart Tolle’s book “The Power of Now”. That book literally changed my whole view of life, but I must say that reminders like this really help me, because it is so easy to forget these main ideas if you don’t routinely “watch” yourself or practice daily. I try my best, but sometimes I drift off into the routine of life and need to be pulled back to reality.
I love this idea of a new and better world and I think that personal responsibility is a big part of it. We need to watch ourselves and our actions closely to make sure we are bringing positive to the world, not negative.
Great post! I always know I will be reading something thought provoking when I come to visit you
Kristie Ryan´s last blog ..Volunteers
Hey Kristie.
Hugs Wilma
You are so spot on with this; I love this idea of a new and better world and I think that personal responsibility is a big part of it. We need to watch ourselves and our actions closely to make sure we are bringing positive to the world, not negative.
It IS our responsibility to bring about change WHEN you know what you want to change it into.
For a long time I had no idea and that was so frustrating, I knew something was amiss but I had no idea what or how to change things. But thank goodness more and more information that rather speaks to our heart is coming forth, our heart must be ready to hear it. For that I am so grateful and I am grateful to find people like you whose heart is hearing it too.
Thank you for your kind words, they do land upon a grateful ear
Hi Wilma — this reminds me of how recently I’ve been exploring the idea that there are actually ways that my body holds onto the past — I imagine you’ve come across this in the transformational work you’ve done. I’ve been doing “ecstatic dance” recently where I just allow my body to do whatever it wants, and interestingly I have found that this has helped let go of some of the weight of the past.
Hi Chris. Our body is an amazing tool when you start looking into it. It indicates a whole lot of things if you are prepared to listen and are aware of the messages it can send.
John and I have done that type of dancing as well, I must admit I was the reluctant one to start of with. However free movement without any thought about what is right sure is freeing. Cool that you have discovered that aspect of the body as well as the breathing one. We store a lot in our body and I am with you that letting go through free movement is a great way to do it. And then one day our whole life will be one ecstatic dance, and I am close to it as I am thoroughly enjoying this break. Love Wilma xoxo
Hello Wilma,
I am sad to hear that our SuZen had such a difficult past which perhaps explains her incredible strength!
Hi Jillian. Some people do indeed not have an easy start in life, however it would be more sad if they then let their sad past determine the rest of their life.
On the other hand it could well be that a sad past makes us strong. And if that is so we have to pity people who had it easy as they miss the chance to become strong.
In the end it means that the past means nothing, what has meaning is how we are today in the circumstances of today, which is very comforting as THAT is what I can deal with, what is right in front of me, NOW. Thank goodness, xox Wilma