Are you new here? This explains the blog
RSS
Prefer posts delivered to your inbox? Just pop your email address in below and click 'GO'.
Recent Posts
- I quit blogging.
- Learning takes courage and you knew that, didn’t you?
- Wilma’s Friends on Change starts from within YOU
- I believe in the power of the individual, YOU.
- Wilma’s friends on Following our Calling
- Having faith to LET GO.
- Wilma’s friends on Our desires are the Great Unknown
- She has no desires only goals.
- Wilma’s friends on Intimacy has consequences
- Ego rejects love and intimacy.
- Wilma’s friends on Captaining our own Life
- Allow yourself to be lovable and shine.
- Wilma’s friends on Doing love to be Lovable.
- Are we lovable enough to attract love?
- Wilma’s friends on Honesty in relationships
Further Reading
Where I am coming from
Categories
Search this site
Wilma on Stop the Interruptions!
Birds hate interruptions too. John will you leave them alone!
Your comments to this week’s post; ‘Interrupted thinking creates half-baked Me’ certainly deepened my thinking about this epidemic of constant daily interruptions.
I want to start by emphasizing that interruptions of themselves are not inherently bad, a modest amount of interruptions are great and a fact of life. This is not the issue at all. The issue is the constant stream of them and our lack of vigilance in recognizing the insidious consequences to our quality of life and quality thinking because of constant interruptions.
So what is the cost of lots of interruptions?
Peggy said; “I left the house for work more grumpy than I anticipated. Zeenat’s husband shared with her that; “…you don’t sound like you anymore!” And Lance shared about his children; “specifically with my kids. It can be so easy, it seems, to just interrupt them, and expect that they need to drop everything and listen to me. And really – would I do that with my wife?” Julie recognized that; “few activities get the attention they or I deserve.”
Nadia, Megan and Patty declared that they do schedule interruption free days and reap benefits similar to Julie’s;
When I take the time to begin my day with myself, then the rest of the day flows SO much more easily and I’m more able to stay in concentration.
So what are some of the other wins when we limit interruptions?
Zeenat said;
I reduced my stresses…..started paying attention to details…and most of all started listening to others too! Miraculously..i had developed immense patience. There is an upside to easing on the interruptions…You become more patient with yourself..and with others. You learn more…you understand more.
Julie nailed it thoroughly with this sentence; “I’m aiming for quality.”
I loved the pleasure that I imagine Peggy felt with this example;
Thinking about yesterday, though, I set my intention to watch two movies and crochet a blanket. You’ll see a picture of the blanket tomorrow…yes, I finished it…something I barely started on Saturday, I finished around 6PM on Sunday. I had NO interruptions except to switch DVD’s when the first movie ended. Creativity is what happens when I mindfully minimize distractions and interruptions!
We had no difficulty noting the obvious sources of interruptions in our life, the major culprit being the phone, followed by email.
However I want to thank SuZen for taking us in a new direction with her comment;
I think my Monkey mind interrupts me ALL the time. Well shoot, I may be so mired in interruptions I barely know how to function without them then. Wow, I wonder……………
You certainly got us thinking on that one. Many of us agreed with SuZen that we don’t notice how much we have internalized interruptions. It is our Little Voice that has become our primary interrupter. We hardly need to blame external sources of interruptions when we have become so good at ‘me interrupting me’.
So what are we going to DO Differently?
Because I and this blog is about doing things differently, I introduced an invitation at the end of this week’s post to practice three things you could do differently this week. They were:
- Simply observe and notice how often you get interrupted or distracted.
- Stop mindlessly interrupting and distracting others, if you have to interrupt someone ask permission first.
- Intentionally act to minimize the interruptions you experience this week.
So how did you get on?
Lori could see the ‘grace’ in asking permission before interrupting. Did anyone else feel the grace when asking permission?
Lance set out to treat his kids like adults, and not “just interrupt them and expect that they need to drop everything and listen to me.” How is it going Lance?
Tess promised to be aware of how much she is interrupting herself by answering her cell phone and be more patient when she wants help from hubby. Tess, I guess you meant by being more patient, that you would interrupt him less.
Nadia was clear that she did not have to answer the phone, the mobile or email “if I am in the middle of doing something.”
But it sounds to me you Julie have really taken this doing things differently to heart when you said;
I actually DO want to delay more in some activities, and when I overbook my time, put too much on my to-do list, allow myself to be distracted (ever begin cleaning one room only to end up an hour later having done many other things without finishing the first?), well, few activities get the attention they or I deserve. After a good many years of multi-tasking, I’m excited to begin learning to unlearn.
I’m all for devoting MORE time to that which I MUST do well and those other things I WANT to do. Of course, this means there will be growing pains: letting go of the familiar, learning new ways moving through my day…
Congratulations Julie and lets go learning new ways to move through the day less distracted.
Related Posts
22 Comments to “Wilma on Stop the Interruptions!”
Leave a reply
Subscribe to comments with RSS or TrackBack to 'Wilma on Stop the Interruptions!'.
Hi WIlma .. that word ‘interruption’ keeps cropping up in my head .. and I had actually wanted to have a peaceful time, let Mum get a little better and be ready for the next period.
But life intervened .. I won’t go into the details because it’s not necessary – sufficient to say we have infection controls in place .. apart from everything else & we have to move Mum downstairs – and put no paper in the room, no decorations – it’s the only stimulation she gets .. so yesterday I steamed!!
I’m getting over it – but attempting to anyway! Just makes so much more work for me .. The good thing is Mum can hear – but she’s exhausted with her illness -
So I’m taking things on board – but not able to block the interruptions .. others’ as well as my own – I’ve set a few things in train .. & I just go forward – but reading and listening to your readers’ comment – I’m learning loads and that is so important ..
Looking forward to reading these too ..
Hilary´s last blog ..The Middle Ages of the web – ancient pathways, monastic steps, St David yesterday, St Chad today and lines of communication …
Hi Hilary.
Yes these kind of interruptions in life are the ones we only get to understand in hindsight as they are part of the invisible plan for you and your Mum.
I have learned that in these times the bigger web of life are putting things in place and we have to wait until all those ducks are lined up to move on.
Obviously you cannot force this situation so I do think if you take your time to think without going to a place of impatience or hurry, I do agree with you, things will work out.
In these situations I often need help to keep believing that though, me still of little faith, so here is my encouragement for you, Hilary.
You keep moving like you do with what you can even if that looks not enough and accept that something is being put in place right now. That is what you have to accept as you have no idea what is behind all this.
As Wallace D Wattle says, there is never any hurry on the creative plane, you cannot hurry things up as all the ducks need to be lined up.
So Hilary, accept these interruptions and just go forward with what you can do,
However I do understand your frustration, but hang in there, all is well, it really is as all is well with me, it really is
So partner in’ crime’ in sassing this life out, lots of love to you, Wilma
Hi WIlma .. thanks for those thoughts and support. Also Wallace Wattle’s point about not being able to hurry things up on the creative plane as the ducks line up ..I guess the positive would be filling in “those holes” – the spaces of time that are there in between while things move on. That’s helpful .. we all have little spaces of time we can use more effectively .. thanks so much for the support from down there! .. have a good weekend – yay .. partner in ‘crime’ sorting this life out and enjoying life as we go .. being prepared .. accepting those interruptions we have no control over .. and eliminating as many of our own as we can will definitely help – with love and thoughts Hilary xxoo
Hilary´s last blog ..The Middle Ages of the web – ancient pathways, monastic steps, St David yesterday, St Chad today and lines of communication …
Hi Wilma, well this one is a particularly tricky one for me, since my kids are so young. It is entirely unfair to expect that they won’t interrupt me. And pre-kids I had a very ‘uninterrupted’ life, in terms of being able to have long, quiet meditations, exercise sessions, reading time etc. I wasn’t online yet at that point either, other than work, which I would studiously turn ‘off’. So as a parent I have almost been working on the opposite lesson – how to let go of my idea that I must ‘finish this now’ or meditate for a certain length of time, or whatever, and just be ready to accept whatever happens, whatever time (and my kids) allows, so that I can put them and their needs first right now.
But I also can really relate to many of these quotes and goals, especially Lance’s, in terms of not expecting my kids to drop whatever they are doing just because I say so. And also vowing to NOT answer emails, Twitter, phone calls etc. during certain times. I actually have pretty strict rules about when and how often and for how long that I will be online each day, and sometimes I get to my favorite blogs, and sometimes I don’t!
Thanks for opening up discussion on another topic that affects us all one way or the other.
Lisa (mommymystic)´s last blog ..Interview with Jan Lundy: What is Women’s Spirituality?
Hi Lisa.
You just brought a smile on my face because I can see your little ones constantly wanting your attention, but are they interruptions or are they your priority, who you are choosing to be with?
Just as in Hilary’s case, you could say her Mum is interrupting OR that is not interruption, that is her life right now.
We can see life with little children as one full of interruption because we are too busy or distracted to give them our full attention.
Of course they can appear to interrupt BUT only because my life is not organized around my and their needs.
So you are actually spot on here;
YES, instead of getting totally frustrated, I’m saying work on the wholesome ‘what is so’ and look where and how interruptions appear in your life, which are destructive and which can you avoid.
I love what you say about strict computer time, yes I can see that that will work and yes having realistic expectations of what is possible according to expected interruptions from your children is in my book an extremely good start.
Ann-Marie had the same problem with Molly, she wanted Molly to sleep for at least 2 hours in the afternoon so she could work on the computer. When Molly refused to sleep for 2 hours or to sleep at all guess who was accused of interrupting? But Molly did not interrupt, the computer actually was interrupting Ann-Marie being the SHAM she choose to be.
Seeing this will have you organize too many interruptions out of your life and isn’t that good for everybody?
Lisa, I loved your comment as this is really touching the core of the matter.
Love Wilma
never thought of interruptions that way and definitely that’s a good point of view Wilma:)
Isn’t it Farouk? I love looking at my daily life and seeing what I can change there that stops me from being the best I can. I trust it will make you look at yours too, xox Wilma
Hi Wilma – this is such a great conversation!
One of the things I do when I call people – especially if it’s not a planned call – is to say “Hi, this is Peggy.” I wait for them to say hello and then I say “Just wanted to call…do you have a moment or is there a better time to call?” I say this to everyone – from my dad to my adult children, to Richard, to friends.
And when someone calls me and it’s not planned, if they don’t ask me if now is a good time, I will say “now is not a good time for me, can you call me back tomorrow?” or if it’s one of my kids, “can I call you back in an hour?”
No one has ever gotten mad at me for telling them “it’s not a good time.” And likewise, when I ask permission to interrupt, I’m never offended when someone tells me that it’s not a good time.
I loved SuZen’s comment about Monkey Mind being the culprit of most of our interruptions – I call them my distractions. And right now I’m interrupting myself and have interrupted myself all morning from writing my morning pages. I think I’ll finish now.
xxoo
Peggy
Peggy´s last blog ..As You Thinketh
Hahaha Peggy, I do not know what to say now. Good for you to have interrupted your daily pages so we are getting this great comment, or to say tuttut Peggy, naughty girl to interrupt yourself but secretly being happy you did.
Never mind the deed is done and we got to see from your example how little we do respect other people’s space to complete what they are doing. I for example never thought about asking if my phone call was convenient until John showed my by example. He always asks too.
It is interesting though that when you say it is not convenient not many people do take offence or at least they do not show it, but at least I get to continue.
Now I do no longer answer the phone when it is not convenient but ring back as soon as I can if they left a message.
Oh how come we mark everything in our daily life as urgent to let everything interrupt us?
And the confusion who and what is the interruption????
Like Lisa, Ann-Marie and I had a hard time sorting that out with Molly and Ann-Marie’s computer time.
It is making a huge difference though to know which distraction I can manage and minimize and which I have to accept and deal with.
Gheez, who has made life so complicated???? xox wilma
Wilma,
First of all, I loved what Peggy said in her comment…”Hi Wilma – this is such a great conversation!”
She captured what I always feel when I visit your site…it is a conversation. I love reading through the comments and seeing how people reacted or what suggestions they offered.
I like your suggestions for handling interruptions. As I tend to bully my way into conversations, I particularly noticed the suggestion about asking permission. That’s one I NEED to work on:~)
I have mixed feelings about interruptions. Sometimes they drive me batty, but there are times when they work in my favor. These are the time they force me to step away from my work. Then, when I come back to it after the interruption, I find I see what I working on in a new and better way. I guess I would call these “constructive interruptions.” Thanks for this post:~)
Sara´s last blog ..My Distinguished Award
HI Sara, I too looooove the dialog, it so helps to see this from as many angles as we can. It is so complicated so all the practical daily example help tremendously.
Oh you are a conversation bully are you, well great to know and to observe how it goes with asking permission. Now of course I will always be curious how it is making a difference.
I am pleased you ahve mixed feelings about interruptions, it is a complex topic and your mixed feelings show you are not underestimating it.
Why do you need external interruptions to stop you continuing things that have exhausted your energy and attention.
John always knows when he had enough and just stops. I am like you, I am so trained by being employed that even if I fall of my chair from having enough, I stay at it until the bell goes, duh.
It is good that you notice interruptions are good, what I would like to go to is I decide my own interruptions.
can you see the difference and who is in charge?
Again a good addition Sara to help us understand more about interruptions.
Patty had a good post on interruption you refer to Sara and it is worth a read.
Hugs Wilma
Hi Wilma!
I get frustrated at work so often! Before I finish one reservation another call is ringing in. Ahhh! I’m not sure how to handle it since, it’s what is so, here at work. I chose to do the best I can and try to tell myself there will be a break at some point to catch up.
My mom instilled in our manners not to interupt conversations. I know that gave me great patience of which I’m terribly grateful for.
It’s much harder with kids. This post and your last really has me watching for those moments to be aware of.
Have a good day my friend!
Angelia´s last blog ..The Pursuit of Perfection
Hi Angelia. yes I can see your point in your work and again that is yet another beautiful example about interruptions. I love how all this shows the complexity in our daily life.
I cannot stress enough how complex our daily living has become and no wonder we are stumbling and confused.
We need to sort this before we can ever be peacefully knowing what we are doing, don’t you think?
Now your interruption as part of the work you do.
These are the ones to accept, they are your work.
Choosing the best you can is the way to go.
However in those situations I often found that work did not give me the time to find ‘what the best way’ was and thus I found myself in a catch 22.
Interruptions are not the issue here, the inability of work to help you find ways to deal with it might be the issue.
So Angelia, is it useful to determine if you ever had uninterrupted time to think how to handle these unavoidable interruptions that are actually part of your work? And if you had, would that make a difference? THAT might be an useful way to go about it, just like AM and Lisa had to think differently about their so called interrupting children.
Love Wilma
HI Wilma,
Youve, managed to sum up all our thoughts and align them with your post so beautifully.
Believe me…after reading your post…interruptions seem to have become more noticeable. Noticable enough for me to make the change..and take action before these interruptions take over.
Its amazing how much awareness your post has brought in my life. Thanks to your post i now say bye bye interruptions Here I come LIFE!
Much Love to you,
Z~
Oh Z, isn’t it great that you can actually do something with these useful explanations in your daily life.
Thank you so much for actually listening and taking actions based on what we are sharing here. Oh you are making my heart sing. Because oh Z, you, me and we all deserve such a better life than the one we are creating at the moment.We deserve more than just being the confused, overworked, fumbling in the dark human beings that we are now.
We are not peacefully flowing through life, contributing to everyone and anything that we happen to meet, on the contrary we feel interrupted and adversarial.
All these distinctions I am addressing here have made me understand more and more how we are supposed to live and how come we are not doing it.
So thanks so much for going tis journey with me, you are a champ and much loved by me for it, xoxoxox Wilma
PS. And of course I would love you to share what actions you are taking to minimize the interruptions and the effect they are having.
Hi Wilma,
This was a really enjoyable post. I learned a lot from all the shared perspectives.
Hugs to you, Jodi
Jodi at Joy Discovered´s last blog ..Ten-Second Kiss
Hi Jodi, isn’t it fantastic to really experience how much we can learn from each other.
I am excited too as we need to learn to do things differently to have a different world.
There is absolutely no two ways about it, we can no longer deny how little we know how to live our daily life so it actually works for us.
Amazing but true and I love that everybody is so prepared to play and willing to find out what they can do differently. I am soo delighted, because as we change in our daily doing, the world will change.
Love Wilma
Wilma
Fantastic follow up! It *is* quite the conversation!
I agree with Peggy’s comment about minimal interruptions allowing for maximum creativity. I think that is why my children and I have so much creativity flowing on the boat. With no TV or internet access, and outside as our backyard, when we are home on the boat we are free to just “be”, to let our minds wander and to explore/experiment/experience naturally. When neighbors knock, or the wind beckons we can choose to interact. Much different mindset than when we are out and around in “the real world”.
Joy´s last blog ..My Weekend Away……
Hi Joy,
I do agree that you living on your boat have created a wonderful context to experience ‘less is more’.
We fill up our lives with so much that interruptions are just unavoidable or so we think.
As we minimize the things in our lives that can distract us, we can focus uninterrupted on what we are doing and fully engage the mind AND our heart and create awesome results we are so craving.
Our heart needs time to show up as in our busy life it has no chance, so what you are doing on your boat with your children is priceless beyond knowing.
Not many of us have experienced such a peaceful environment and thus our creativity is buried deep inside us. Most of us have no clue what it feels like or how to get it. Thus we yearn and want without getting it.
Joy, John and I too are noticing the difference when we venture out into the ‘real’ world, the noise, the distractions, the hurry people are in, and what it is doing to us, it is sad actually.
Your children are so blessed to experience their uninterrupted time, you are blessed that you have created this sanctuary in daily life for yourself as well. That is why you dare to access your heart and live such a wonderful alive life we all love to read about.
Hugs Wilma
Hi Joy
I so identify with your observations of how living on a boat without TV, internet access etc allows creativity and peaceful thoughts to flow.
I lived nine years on my sailing boat and it was during that time that I got to experience the joy of a focused life, where wind and folk walking down the dock were the only interruptions.
It was not until I went sailing that I got to recognize how an interruption full, totally distracted mind numbing world, living ashore is.
Your children are immensely lucky.
Fair winds John
John´s last blog ..Me and out-of-integrity family.
Hi everyone,
I find it very hard to focus on more than one thing at a time and the more the interruptions occur the rattier I become. I made a new year resolution ( broken more than once, but the sentiment is still there) to turn off the pc just before I collect my children from school, so the pull of the interruption of email and work does not override the good interruption of my children in my day. This way when they want to talk to me, I can listen and I don’t see them as an interruption or an irritation. I’m not perfect, it doesn’t always work, sometimes work has to come first, it pays the bills, but when I’m doing the good job as a mum, you know, it makes everything else flow. When my children are happy, I’m happy, and of course vice versa. This year we went camping for the 1st time and in 13 years, it was one of the best hols we have had. No tv, no pc just us. And you know, us works…..without the interruptions.
Hi Anna,
What a great intent to have no computer interruptions when the children are home from school. Of course things are not always as you plan them to be and yes sometimes work takes priority but I am sure that your children and you can cope with that occasionally.
Once they have the confidence and feel secure in having been given quality time more than once, they can also cope with playing second fiddle sometimes when the circumstances require so.It is when they never feel they can get attention,when they feel they are always on borrowed time, THAT is when everybody gets ratty and feels interrupted and hard done by.
For me paying attention to this has made a huge difference in my focus and feeling less scattered and distracted.
Oh I love camping too for that very reason. Just being in the beauty of nature and fully being present is priceless.
I love you saying ‘us works’, yes us works when we pay attention.
Love Wilma