Comments on: Wilma on setting boundaries will give us ‘enough’ http://www.wilmasblog.com/leverage/2010/02/12/setting-boundaries-will-give-us-enough/ Doing things Differently Wed, 08 Sep 2010 05:30:15 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.5 hourly 1 By: The Balance of ‘Enough’ versus ‘More’ – My Wish For You - Evolving Beings http://www.wilmasblog.com/leverage/2010/02/12/setting-boundaries-will-give-us-enough/#comment-8545 The Balance of ‘Enough’ versus ‘More’ – My Wish For You - Evolving Beings Fri, 12 Mar 2010 02:39:14 +0000 http://www.wilmasblog.com/?p=3863#comment-8545 [...] Recently I read two really fantastic articles from Wilma Ham of Wilma’s Blog on Women Like Me. The first one was “When is ‘enough’ enough?” and than she followed up with “Setting Boundaries Will Give Us ‘Enough’.” [...] [...] Recently I read two really fantastic articles from Wilma Ham of Wilma’s Blog on Women Like Me. The first one was “When is ‘enough’ enough?” and than she followed up with “Setting Boundaries Will Give Us ‘Enough’.” [...]

]]> By: Wilma http://www.wilmasblog.com/leverage/2010/02/12/setting-boundaries-will-give-us-enough/#comment-8232 Wilma Wed, 17 Feb 2010 21:32:48 +0000 http://www.wilmasblog.com/?p=3863#comment-8232 Wow Daphne, you are sharing a lot here that makes a lot of sense. I congratulate you on NOT bowing to the pressure of looking super human. I love how you question our admiration for doing more; <blockquote>Why does society put people who do too much on a pedestal and look down at those of us who say no to things?</blockquote> In the end the 'why' is no longer a valid question. I love that you ask yourself; is this important in my life? You obviously have been able to see beyond appearances and got to see that it is not useful to act like this. THAT is sitting still enough to get to the wholesome 'what is so', you champ. Your way of acting coming from your authentic values and intent is not what most of us have been taught by society so again I do have to congratulate you for figuring this out against what current society stands for and being able to act in your daily life so effectively. You rock, and yes people will notice you being and doing differently and that is all you can ask. Love Wilma Wow Daphne, you are sharing a lot here that makes a lot of sense. I congratulate you on NOT bowing to the pressure of looking super human.
I love how you question our admiration for doing more;

Why does society put people who do too much on a pedestal and look down at those of us who say no to things?

In the end the ‘why’ is no longer a valid question. I love that you ask yourself; is this important in my life?
You obviously have been able to see beyond appearances and got to see that it is not useful to act like this. THAT is sitting still enough to get to the wholesome ‘what is so’, you champ.
Your way of acting coming from your authentic values and intent is not what most of us have been taught by society so again I do have to congratulate you for figuring this out against what current society stands for and being able to act in your daily life so effectively.
You rock, and yes people will notice you being and doing differently and that is all you can ask.
Love Wilma

]]> By: Daphne http://www.wilmasblog.com/leverage/2010/02/12/setting-boundaries-will-give-us-enough/#comment-8228 Daphne Wed, 17 Feb 2010 18:57:42 +0000 http://www.wilmasblog.com/?p=3863#comment-8228 This is such an important question, and one that so many people struggle with. I am not a mom yet, but I hear about the multi-tasking super moms who drive with their knees and manage to do it all. Why does society put people who do too much on a pedestal and look down at those of us who say no to things? One of the things that has helped me in terms of deciding what is enough is to be forgiving of myself. I listen to my own self-talk. When it is especially negative, especially about little things, I stop and sit still for a minute, forgive myself, and move on. The other thing that has been so important is to keep moving towards my priorities. If I'm stuck spending time reading a blog I don't enjoy just because it's in my Google Reader list, I remove it. I categorized the blogs I read with a category for Favorites (where this blog sits!). When I open Google Reader, I start in this folder. If I don't have time for the others, at least I know that I have done the ones that are most important to me. If I spend the majority of my day doing things that are imoprtant to me, then I have had a successful day. If I spend it doing nothing that promotes or adheres to my values, then I know I need to do better the next day and I say no to those activities or tasks in the future. It is really hard to do and I think that the more of us who do it and support each other, the more society will see that those who "do it all" may be the least happy. .-= Daphne´s last blog ..<a href="http://daphneanddonald.blogspot.com/2010/02/snow-day.html" rel="nofollow">Snow Day</a> =-. This is such an important question, and one that so many people struggle with. I am not a mom yet, but I hear about the multi-tasking super moms who drive with their knees and manage to do it all. Why does society put people who do too much on a pedestal and look down at those of us who say no to things?

One of the things that has helped me in terms of deciding what is enough is to be forgiving of myself. I listen to my own self-talk. When it is especially negative, especially about little things, I stop and sit still for a minute, forgive myself, and move on.

The other thing that has been so important is to keep moving towards my priorities. If I’m stuck spending time reading a blog I don’t enjoy just because it’s in my Google Reader list, I remove it. I categorized the blogs I read with a category for Favorites (where this blog sits!). When I open Google Reader, I start in this folder. If I don’t have time for the others, at least I know that I have done the ones that are most important to me.

If I spend the majority of my day doing things that are imoprtant to me, then I have had a successful day. If I spend it doing nothing that promotes or adheres to my values, then I know I need to do better the next day and I say no to those activities or tasks in the future. It is really hard to do and I think that the more of us who do it and support each other, the more society will see that those who “do it all” may be the least happy.
Daphne´s last blog ..Snow Day My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Wilma http://www.wilmasblog.com/leverage/2010/02/12/setting-boundaries-will-give-us-enough/#comment-8194 Wilma Sun, 14 Feb 2010 23:39:55 +0000 http://www.wilmasblog.com/?p=3863#comment-8194 Hi Nadia, I love what you say here; "I do think a person can be able to access that flow at any time. As to how to do that, I think the more relaxed a person is the easier it will be." Being relaxed is the key as well, AND we are NOT relaxed. At least I am noticing that I am NOT relaxed because of this inner slave driver, my Little Voice that indeed makes my mind murkier and murkier. The need to become relaxed is huge, the call for stillness is huge as stillness will create relaxed states. So our next step is to become free of our thought patterns voiced by the Little Voice and return to our heart-centered self. I so agree about that working hard never works out, when will I learn :) hugs Wilma Hi Nadia,
I love what you say here; “I do think a person can be able to access that flow at any time. As to how to do that, I think the more relaxed a person is the easier it will be.”
Being relaxed is the key as well, AND we are NOT relaxed.
At least I am noticing that I am NOT relaxed because of this inner slave driver, my Little Voice that indeed makes my mind murkier and murkier.
The need to become relaxed is huge, the call for stillness is huge as stillness will create relaxed states.
So our next step is to become free of our thought patterns voiced by the Little Voice and return to our heart-centered self.
I so agree about that working hard never works out, when will I learn :)
hugs Wilma

]]> By: Wilma http://www.wilmasblog.com/leverage/2010/02/12/setting-boundaries-will-give-us-enough/#comment-8190 Wilma Sun, 14 Feb 2010 20:15:37 +0000 http://www.wilmasblog.com/?p=3863#comment-8190 Hey Tess, good on you to go and play AND daring to leave your laptop behind. This is the key; <blockquote>"Everyone needs to find their own way like Lance says, it’s a personal thing. I do know my ego says no matter how good your stats or how many readers you have it’s never enough."</blockquote> However there is not much around me that role models harmony or balance or 'enough' , so for me it is actually a new concept that I need to become aware of and I need to learn to implement. And there is not much allowance for uniqueness in this uniform world, so even finding my own unique 'enough' is a challange. However as you keep saying Tess, we are work in progress and as long as we have an intention to keep working on ourselves we will find our personal enough. And have a great time with your family, xox Wilma Hey Tess, good on you to go and play AND daring to leave your laptop behind.
This is the key;
“Everyone needs to find their own way like Lance says, it’s a personal thing. I do know my ego says no matter how good your stats or how many readers you have it’s never enough.”

However there is not much around me that role models harmony or balance or ‘enough’ , so for me it is actually a new concept that I need to become aware of and I need to learn to implement.
And there is not much allowance for uniqueness in this uniform world, so even finding my own unique ‘enough’ is a challange.
However as you keep saying Tess, we are work in progress and as long as we have an intention to keep working on ourselves we will find our personal enough.
And have a great time with your family, xox Wilma

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