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Ann-Marie on ‘I don’t know’ so I say STOP
When I was pregnant, I was totally in love with my life. It rocked.
In this week’s post Learning from experience to do things differently Wilma shared how she created a different world for herself in order to gain access to her indigenous self and to LIVE her life even though she did not initially know how to do it.
Her desire to do life another way was strong enough to propel her forward into the depths of the unknown in order to be free and LOVE life.
She has certainly achieved this.
She has arrived in style.
Wilma loves her life, it oozes from every part of her, it is in every cell in her body and she is IN love with everything that she does, from washing the dishes to writing her blog posts to spinning and knitting to dealing with the fresh produce from the veggie garden and to building her WomenLikeMe business.
She is consistent, she LOVES it all.
John, noticing that I am not where Wilma is at, asked me this question on Monday “Ann-Marie what do you love doing?”
Huuumm … I sat with it for a while and I answered him with “I DO NOT KNOW. I do not know what I love doing in my life”.
I suppose I could have made up a list of things in order to satisfy my ego and justify my existence BUT that would be bullsh*t and add insult to injury.
I am in my mid thirties and I have lost my mojo for life.
I do things based on obligation, have to, should do and looking good.
Currently I relate to things as a burden, a noose around my neck and the part of me, you know the sparkle, the bit that makes Ann-Marie the indigenous being that she is, is gone, gone, gone!
I’ve locked her away in the tower that Robin Easton speaks of.
I so thought I had it all figured out but what I realize is that I have been playing in the ‘safe’ playground of ‘I do know’ and as Megan put it;
frequently looking at I don’t know as a negative, when perhaps I’d be better served to embrace the possibilities that not knowing represents.
However I do see that I have a choice.
I can continue to live as I am doing – a quiet life of desperation, a life full of unproductive busyness and struggle, a life where I choose to ignore the wholesome ‘what is so’, shrug it off and deny its existence which my ego would love me for or I can say NO PLAY as this is no longer working.
I’m choosing the NO PLAY option.
I am putting the breaks on and suspending my current life.
I’m taking a break from everything… my marriage, my WomenLikeMe business, my family, EVERYTHING.
I’m getting off the insane rollercoaster called living a life less ordinary.
And in doing so I am taking the time to think, to observe, to process, to connect with myself, to check in with myself, to find out where things sit with me.
The opportunity to give things a go now exists, not from the space of having to fill the vacuum I’m creating; now that would be crazy, but from a space of; is this something I love to do.
So I’m heading directly for the place that Peggy has been to where she;
undid a lot of old learning…re-discovered me and what and who was important to me.
But first I need to cut the strings that have been propping me up.
Robin expressed how I am feeling about it all;
The “break” can at first feel like a ripping away, a tearing that can feel painful, frightening, unknown, and unreal because it’s something we have never known.
And I’m feeling it alright, I am creating that break and I am scared sh*tless and my ego is saying NO NO NO every inch of the way.
It’s not particularly where I want to go as I know it will stink at times and it is exactly where I want to go as it’s the only way I get access to the indigenous me.
I have suspended my life as it is not working for me at present nor is it serving the people around me or WomenLikeMe either.
This means that I will no longer be writing a Friday post, that too is suspended for the time being.
I will return when I can do them justice and be of service. The blog of course will continue with Wilma’s wonderfully insightful posts.
Continuing to play in cyberspace is a given for me as this community holds such extraordinary value; you guys are inspirational, daring, open and loving. You rock! And I will definitely remain a member of WomenLikeMe and continue on the program as it is my guiding light, my sounding board and the way for me to unlock all of this.
I’m beginning to see what Patty meant when she said;
the thing is, knowing can close down possibility, while not knowing opens us up to experimentation.
I have closed down possibility. Actually I have gone further than that, I have closed down my heart.
And declaring that I do not know what I love is my entry into the ‘I don’t know’ realm and that is where I can re-discover what LOVE is for me.
When I come from loving my life, the things I do and the relationships I have, then things happen, beauty is created and life is joyful, peaceful and loving.
Nothing is a hassle or a struggle as that is not the essence of love, it does not know how to create those feelings.
Magic happens and things get done for the sheer love of it.
As Tess said;
there is no going back after you know better. I would encourage everyone to do the thing they know they have to do to live a life of freedom.
I am conscious in this manner, I am certain that there is a way to do life differently; I have vibrant, living examples all around me in you guys.
I feel like a marathon runner with you ladies on the sideline cheering, encouraging, supporting and loving. And for that I am eternally grateful.
Yet the only one who can run my race is me, I’m working at it and taking it one step at a time.
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55 Comments to “Ann-Marie on ‘I don’t know’ so I say STOP”
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Oh Ann-Marie, you courageous wonderful friend, you go and fly!!!!
Yes, yes, you are on the way to freedom and what a sight to see.
You are going to live the life you knew was there but that has so eluded you.
I have seen your greatness when you could let go off the ego that trained you so well to do things the ‘right’ way.
I have also seen your smallness when coming from duty and obligation and looking good.
My first reaction and my first comment here was one of sadness, but I realized now that that is selfish and totally inapropriate. It is not encouraging your journey.
So I am changing my tune to joy and total excitement about your courage to see the wholesome what is so and your willingness to act!
Why keep a status quo in place that allows you to be busy but doesn’t leave you space to freely explore in a void.
You need a void to experiment, you cannot experiment when life is so full that all your time is taken up with tasks and more tasks.
So I encourage you my friend to explore life from a place of love and freedom, while you are shaking off too many obligations that keep you captive.
Oh to set you free to discover loving life is soooo heart warming and I am doing it joyfully and with absolute faith.
I wish this discovery for everybody and you my friend, go and do you hero’s journey, I am watching in awe.
XOXOX Wilma
Oh Wilma, as I said to you this week after I chose to stop working in our WomanLikeMe business, I feel like I am leaving home; wanting so desperately to stay where it is comfortable, warm and cozy coupled with the mixed emotions of wanting to get out there and explore the unknown. My knees knock and my heart beats out of my chest every time.
I so appreciate your part in cutting me loose, in not buying into my fearful ego and in giving me the space and time to spread my wings and rediscover me and what I love.
I have been cooped up for far too long.
As I said I am all over the place with my emotions and that is OK, some are my ego going off on one and others come from my heart centre. I am fumbling around in the dark which is not pleasant to say the least however I am more and more confident that there is light, glorious light to be found at the end of all this.
I got to do the ‘hard’ yards first.
And I am comforted to know that you, John and the other beautiful women here will be there to celebrate my coming of age with me!
Love always Ann-Marie
xxxxxxxx
Celebrate your coming of age. Oh I love that as I feel this is the time for all of us to come of age. Shake off our martyrdom, our dutiful limites existence to one of being in full flight.
YES, coming of age, all of us, lead the way Ann-Marie :~) XOXOXOXO
Ann-Marie, I agree with Wilma. You are doing the right thing for YOU! This is such a wise step, to step back for a bit –for you!
I loved this ” the thing is, knowing can close down possibility, while not knowing opens us up to experimentation.” reminds me of the Emerson quote as well which says “life is an experiment. the more experiments the better.” It’s never about getting it perfect, or just so.. rather discovering what lays just below the surface waiting for us to explore it and then play it out for others to enjoy also!
I was able to find the lovely blog which spoke of the cave time thingy which came to mind as you shared of your need to introspect,.. it’s called the Medicine Wheel: for the blurp it’s below, the whole article is at: I adore this!
http://www.goddessguidebook.com/ask-goddess-leonie-cave-time/
[In the Native American spiritual tradition, the Medicine Wheel teaches us the four directions of life.
North - the place of earth - where we learn to walk our talk out in the world, supported by our ancestors.
East - the place of air - where the new day is born. It is the place of inspiration and new ideas.
South - the place of fire - the place of passion, energy, fertility. The hot summer of the wheel.
West - the place of sea - the place of introspection.
With each circle of the medicine wheel - where we walk our talk, gather new ideas and bring them to fruition, we return to the West, to go into our caves.]
you my dear are simply heading west for a bit,.. enjoy the sea!
when I give myself the time I need to recover, regroup before pressing forward. In retreat I become whole again and solitude renews me and tends to my soft spots, this also can be a time which involves fun experimentation so much will come to you in possibility.
I send a bouquet of well wishes and many {{heart waves}} to you today and am confident you will come back with more passion then ever before.
Xtra hugs.. ~Jenn
Jenn´s last blog ..Mondays: Tea & Heart Stories
Jenn, I agree with you, Patty is so insightful with her words. Not knowing opens us up to possibility everywhere yet I have not been able to go there and have never really known why. I have a strong ego that has kept the answer well hidden until now.
So I am opening myself up to new experiences and doing the daily routines in a different way, I am consciously asking who am I being here in this moment.
I will find my mojo; I will once again sing along, out of tune, to my favorite songs at the top of my voice while driving the car and love it. But first it is time to head ‘west’ and sit in my cave and be still. The challenging part is taking the steps, doing what is required so that I walk out of my cave into a world and life that I love. And that is a way off yet.
Thank you Jenn for your bouquet wrapped up in love and for the medicine wheel. It sounds like you get alot out of it too xxxxx
Hi Jenn.
Yes, we all have to go through this as it is inevitable. When we want change we have to cut strings and complete the old.
I start to see that as long as we see it as part of the journey we can actually go through the grieving stage very peacefully and quickly. THAT is also a great learning.
Love to you, Wilma
Hi Ann-Marie! I think many of us have been where you are now – and look, we have all survived! As you squirm around in the tower – or in land of Divine Discontent – I have complete faith that you will emerge stronger and more loving than ever! Sometimes it’s necessary to unplug yourself from everything (as you are doing) in order to sort yourself out. I am actually excited for you! The cocoon is a necessary part. You will be the most beautiful of butterflies! I send you love, hugs and much peace.
suZen
Hi Suzen, Yes I am slap bang in the middle of the winter of Divine Discontent. And I am so relieved to know that I am not the first person to experience this.
You, Wilma and a number of others here have been in my shoes. You know exactly how this feels as I squirm and wriggle about in my cocoon grappling with my fears and my desires.
I have faith that I too will survive because SuZen you did, you survived, you went into that dark hole and you emerged a powerful and loving contribution to this world. You have shown me that it is possible. Look at what you achieved with the yellow ribbon campaign, that came from one place only; LOVE.
Thank you, SuZen for walking this path before me, for your encouragement and for your continuous love. You are a beautiful butterfly and I look forward to flying with you. Hugs to you. Ann-Marie
Well said, butterfly SuZen, so well said.
THANK you, big big hugs, Wilma
Ann Marie,
Reading your post brought me to tears, happy tears. My heart feels such joy for you. Because you are *exactly* where you are supposed to be. Instead of blithely answering “waht do you love” you took the courageous, grace filled path and answered I do not know. Which opened a new path for you. The path of Healing Light Love Growth Peace. You are surrounded by many, I know I support you, I am cheerleading for you, and I know that you are hurting, but this is necessary to open your heart to unfold. Step lightly, rest often, breathe deeply, just be. I feel compelled to tell you that any answer you search for is already within you.
Lots of Good Energy Light and Peace as you step back to blossom:)
Joy´s last blog ..Full Moon Dream Board…
Oh Joy, you and Wilma are kindred spirits, she said the same thing.
There is much joy here. I see this all as a new beginning, you said it so beautifully The path of Healing Light Love Growth Peace. That is a path worth going for.
I keep saying to my husband, the marriage that we had is no longer available, I no longer want to BE that person in a relationship or in a business or anywhere else for that matter. There is much to look forward to and that is what I am holding onto as my ego plays havoc as it struggles to hold it’s wavering ground.
Joy, I appreciate your words, they sound as if they have experienced this before stepping back into blossom. It is going to be great.
Hugs to you
Ann-Marie
Dear Joy.
You too definitely know what it means to step out and with every step you are shining more brightly, the trail you leave such a legacy.
By living from our heart-centered self there is no way we can go on living the ‘old’ way. There is no fit as there is only inauthentic fearful behavior, most of the time.
And yes, how to deal with leaving things behind is also not well practiced.
No play doesn’t have to be tragic, it means a completion and a new beginning. We need to learn to complete, we need to learn to embrace the unknown, we need to learn a lot and that can only happen when we do things.
Your blog shows that so clearly and that is why I absolutely love your contributions. Joy, you are a valuable woman in this quest to renewal for all women and I so appreciate your support for AM and me as well.
Big hug and lots of love while you are on your own adventures, Wilma
Ann-Marie,
My heart goes out to you. Thank you for the time and dedication to this blog. I appreciate your insight. I appreciate your honesty, as hard as that must have been, to admit.
I see so many hurt and lost people who bury it all inside, they cover it up, but internally it stagnates them. To know you are willing to do what it takes to find your love just shows how much you truly care for your life. For that I’m grateful. It’s an honor to have met you. I am cheering and beaming love your way.
Xoxo
Dear Angelia,
I am not feeling lost anymore, I see the pathway to freedom and being totally in love with my life, once again. As I said it’s not the path I particularly want to take as it will get tricky at times,but it is the only one to get me to where I want to be.
And by taking the time out, I can begin to carve that life where the indigenous ME shows up in every single thing I do. And that is worth PAUSING for.
Beaming love right back at ya! xxx
HI Angelia and AM
Yes, staying comfortable and not venturing out is the ultimate tragic thing to do.
So cheering AM on is the best thing and thanks Angelia, I know that you speak from experience and look where you are now, you are a beautiful example for all of us, xox Wilma
Congratulations Ann-Marie on choosing NO PLAY.
Life gets to be real simple and authentic when we see it as a game we play, and we recognize that like any game, we choose whether to play or not.
This is of course not how we were taught to behave as adults; life is supposed to be about duty and obligation and until death do us part. What a con and a trap.
I congratulate you on seeing life for what it potentially is for everyone; the game of experiences and that we get to choose.
In order to choose new experiences, we must pratice declaring ‘NO PLAY’ when the current game/ relationship/ work circumstances no longer serve our heart, our indigenous self.
Go Girl Go!!! and let you be an example for others who have yet to realize the freedom of choosing ‘NO PLAY’.
Love John
Yes, the no-play distinction has been such a revelation for me as well.
That has given me and Ann-Marie such a freedom.
No longer lingering from obligation or whatever our ego can come up with and hanging on to what doesn’t serve us in this moment.
AND not being afraid of repercussions either, because the door doesn’t always have to be shut either.
What a freedom to follow your heart!
Choosing NO PLAY has been so liberating. If NO PLAY was not available I would remain stuck, going round in circles with one foot stuck to the floor. It is an option that I have rarely practiced and something that my ego certainly doesn’t agree with.
Experiencing NO PLAY has been such a valuable lesson, it can only benefit everyone involved yet I feel we are not as open to it as we think we are.
Thanks John for your encouragement and unconditional love xxx
Hi Ann-Marie – Your courage truly bowls me over, and it takes a special kind of courage to do what you’re doing. Sometimes in my life I’ve thought the hard thing was to try to keep it all together, stitch up the seams that were bursting, sweep up the mess. But then I realized the really hard (and courageous) thing is to just let it all fall apart. And believe that new life will spring from it. So I just hung on every word you’ve written here. Although you don’t know what you love and are headed for the cave, you’re taking the one essential elixir with you: your trust in life’s sweetness and the certainty that love will blossom inside you. And the thing I most want to tell you, which you probably know already, is that we go into that cave more than a few times in our lives, and it’s a deeper experience each time. I’m just finishing up a period of cave sitting, so I’ll make sure to keep the fire going until you get there! Much love to you.
Patty – Why Not Start Now?´s last blog ..Getting Comfortable With I DON’T KNOW
Patty, and isn’t there a great freedom in there, to let it all fall apart when the seems are bursting. I love that image, you are so good at that.
Yes, so instead of fighting to keep it all together and hanging on until it falls apart anyway, letting go is the best thing ever.
AND to learn that is so valuable as life is a flow and will keep changing IF you let it.
Staying stuck in the mud is also an option and I see many around me so that, but boy who would really want to.
Patty, thanks so much for putting your slant on this, the more stories we hear the more we all get encouraged to make our life rock. xox Wilma
Patty, you know exactly what I’ve been up to…. trying desperately to keep it all together and failing miserably. Yes to let it all completely fall apart is part of the process. The NO Play option gave me the clarity that only when things are stripped back, can NEW growth happen.
Oh Patty it is an ongoing journey with a constant willingness to let things fall apart without resistance. You are doing it, LIVING life and I adore that you are telling it like it is. Thank you my friend for your sharing and for keeping the fires burning xxx
Dear Patty, this is so so wise. Yes, to just let go is often the BEST thing we could ever do. This such powerful wisdom you share. Hugging you, Robin
Robin Easton´s last blog ..The Power of Our Beliefs
AM – what a fabulous journey you are about to begin! Wow…a journey that requires no luggage and will shed the weight of the 800 pound gorilla. A journey of self-discovery and freedom.
“Every change is a challenge to remember what’s true. Love is the only absolute reality, which never changes and never dies. Dwelling in that which does not change, while things around us are changing all the time, is our key to inner peace.” ~ Marianne Williamson, “The Gift of Change.”
“Discontent is the necessity of progress” ~ Thomas Edison
Embrace the unknown with loving kindness…
xxxooo
Peggy
Peggy´s last blog ..Your Moment of Bliss
Peggy, dear friend, oh how I love to hear your words right now.
To encourage AM and my own daughter too is the best thing to do when I have a tendency to rescue them and kiss it all better.
Thanks for supporting the notion that we are all on the right track, that we need to stop following a dead end road in life. We need to have the courage to choose.
When we women learn to do that, we will become the change we all so desperately want to see and that is going to impact the world enormously. So this is actually all very exciting.
So go AM go, I agree. Thanks Peggy, hugs Wilma
Peggy, It is an exciting time and you described it so well, I have been carrying an 800 pound gorilla around with me and boy is it tiresome, relentless and soul destroying.
‘Love is the only absolute reality” and I look forward to BE-ing that reality and creating a world that works for me and others. It will be awesome.
I feel so fortunate that you are here on this track with Wilma and I as we delve further into our unknowns to be the change.
Much Love Ann-Marie
Ann-Marie, I am so glad that you have been able to share your process and journey in this very tough phase of your life. I am glad that you have a wonderful support system around you to cheer you on as you take ownership of your choices and of your life.
It has given me insight into what my mom might be experiencing. She and my dad separated a few years ago and have been trying to figure out their relationship. I believe that she left because she had no idea who she was anymore. It has been very hard, and I know that if she can come out on the other side strong and confident, then it will all have been worth it, whether she and my dad stay together in the end or not. Thank you for sharing so much. We are here for you.
Daphne´s last blog ..So Close
Oh Daphne, you are hitting the nail on the head, in sharing ourselves freely we are generously offering a gift to everybody who cares to listen.
Your mom must have taken a big step as well to acknowledge the wholesome ‘what is so’ in her life. That takes courage and a knowing that there is something far more to get than what is currently on offer.
That alone will get your mom out of there, she must have gotten a glimpse of what is possible, just like Ann-Marie and that is very promising and a blessing.
Staying unfulfilled wiht that vague feeling of discontent is far worse than stepping out and giving yoruself a chance for renewal.
So a big cheer for us women who go for possibility and that includes you as well, Daphne, hugs Wilma
Daphne, it has been such a relief to have the words and explanations to describe what is going on for me. I have clarity now instead of the confusion I have been experiencing for some time now.
You most definitely see what is on offer here for me and for your mother and all the other women out there like us … we emerge ’strong and confident’ about what we want from life. And I agree, it is not about staying together or not, it is about living a life from the space of love and the rest happens automatically. Peggy described her experience of this so beautifully.
So Daphne thanks for you thoughts and I am so glad that you get clarity here in relation to your Mum. That is what these conversations are all about.
Hugs to you xxx
Hi Ann-Marie,
I think what you are doing is wonderful. I am sorry you are in this place, but it can so easily happen to any of us, and it’s great you are taking steps to pull yourself out. Enjoy this time of renewal and be patient with yourself. You are in my thoughts!
xo, Jodi
Jodi at Joy Discovered´s last blog ..Great Expectations
Hi Jodi. I love how you say enjoy this time of renewal because what is actually more hopeful to see possibility.
Staying stuck in the mud is so far worse, as that does not pass.
This time of renewal will pass and then what wull reveal itself is so wonderful, isn’t it and that is what we need to remind ourselves.
My first initial comment was a bit doom and gloom as I will miss AM in the business for now and I so wanted to protect her. But that was my ego talking and not me really seeing the wonderful wholesome ‘what is so’ of AM taking time out to sit with this and come out renewed.
It is so great to have this sharing as this will hold the space for all of us to keep observing what is going on and then cutting strings to things that are not serving us.
That is actually so valuable and I am so touched how we all can see the goodness in this instead of making it into a drama which it is not. So thanks Jodi for your input, lots of love Wilma
Hi Jodi
A time of renewal and rejuvenation! Without selecting NO PLAY this is impossible to achieve as I would continue on being busy and paying no attention to what I desire my life to be. Time out works; to slow things down and really look at ‘what is so’ is the best use of my time at this moment. And yes patience is key and it will take as long as it takes. Thank you Jodi for keeping me in your thoughts and seeing the value in this. Hugs to you.
Hi Ann-Marie,
Good for you for doing what you feel is right. More importantly, it is wonderful that you are so self-aware and that you have the desire to make your life what you want it to be even if you do not know what is that you exactly want. You are in a wonderful place because you are on the verge of creating a new life based on what you will discover.
The fear is a good thing. It may not feel good but it is on some level.
Your posts will be missed and if you ever need anything, please feel free to email me. You are not alone!
Nadia – Happy Lotus´s last blog ..Closing an Old Book & Starting a Brand New One
HI Nadia
You certainly have been there and come out the other way.
What I would love to see changing is that instead of fear we are learning to interpret this emotion as excitement for what is coming.
I think because we are so little used to this letting go, we are so pre-programmed and conditioned to relate fearfully to that that is where we go.
When we change jobs that process is not well supported as most work environments are not that friendly to new comers. You go to a new shcool and you can hardly say that that is a great experience.
When you say ‘no play’ . . . in most circumstances you get negative reactions and you are often told not to come back.
However we can change that by experiencing change as something positive, experiencing saying no play as something that is acceptable and does NOT close doors permanently.
AND that is what Ann-Marie has a chance to experience and that is exciting isn’t it? That will eventually take the fear out of this equation and will really have us react so much more differently to the ever changing flow of life.
Life will always be exciting whatever happens, oh my, what a possibility!!!!
Nadia, you too thank you so much, we need to band together to make change beautiful and exciting for Ann-Marie and us as well.
Lots of love to you, Wilma
Hi Nadia
Exploring my heart and observing the fear has thrown up many things. Alot of people, mainly family see my action as GAME OVER, the end and they are fearful about what that brings. Some are even grieving in a way and egos are in full flight about what ’should’ happen at a time like this. That is why I find these conversations with you ladies a God send, you too see that this IS a massive opportunity filled with endless possibility and for that I am so grateful.
I see that many doors remain ajar, like our WomenLikeMe business and that in itself is a wonderful feeling; to know that it remains available to me to freely choose it again. Fear on the other hand tightly shuts these doors. Being able to say that I do not know has kept the fear for me at bay also. And turning that fear into something like excitement, something that serves me will be a triumph in itself.
Nadia you have done this, you have been on your journey of self discovery and emerged as a peaceful soul and that contributes to and supports me and others tremendously. xxxxxx
Ann Marie,
Good for you! You’re right where you need to be. I took myself on a new path in my 30’s as well. That’s when I found a new group of friends, went back to grad school and found the beginning of my spiritual path. My finest decade was my 30’s.
I hope you enjoy your time away and let me know if there is anything I can help with…
Tess The Bold Life´s last blog ..Born To Run
Hi Tess.
People like you are so wonderful and that is why both Ann-Marie and I lvoed your book.
You definitely have suspended your life and stopped in your tracks to change directions with amazing results.
And it is important to have role models, it helps us to see what is possible and that is very valuable. Bold women like you are a sight to see and inspires.
It is very cool to find each other and it is wonderful how we are all prepared to show up and encourage one another, because as some of us know, we keep being work in progress allbeit that everybody is in a different stage.
Tess, thanks for your offer as well, support is always priceless.
On and upwards together, xox Wilma
Tess, you rock and you are a total inspiration to me.
I agree with Wilma, you are a superb role model. The things that you have done in your life have come from seeing the wholesome ‘what is so’ and from following your heart. The more I get to know you , the more I see this theme in every part of your life. You have had rebirth after rebirth after rebirth and everytime you emerge more stronger and bolder than before. And to know that is precious to me.
So here’s to me and others rocking the remainer of our 30’s just as you have.
Much love xxx
Hi Ann-Marie – my thoughts go out to you. But you’ve chosen the best route forward and haven’t hidden behind glass barriers, which hurt so much when they break – and we have so many caring, thoughtful people here with goodness in their souls and great ideas for you to explore as and when you wish. Stepping off the bandwagon sometimes is the only way forward .. there’s more than one of you and Molly will open your heart and your way forward.
To have Wilma and John nearby will be absolutely invaluable. All will be well – just keep that at the forefront of your being .. life is full of colours for all our areas of life and it’s never (sadly!) meant to be easy .. just sometimes it causes a bit more of a hurdle than we wish, but allowing yourself to regroup, to relook at life will help heal, open your heart to new understandings .. relax, be peaceful – we’re here and always will be .. with love and big hugs – Hilary
Hilary´s last blog ..Groundhog Day, Candlemas and Jannie the First …
Oh Hilary, going for authenticity is so unfamiliar to us that is scares us.
It is a bit like doing physical exercises, the first time they make your body hurt and you can either think, well that is not worth it or go on and let the body get used to it and enjoy it.
We are not used to letting go and yet if life is a flow and forever moving, change and letting go is inevitable.
The longer we cling to things, the more we keep ourselves from flying.
However as with everything, the start of a new learning is always challenging.
But as you say, it is so beautiful to see how we here all connect to this and how we all encourage it. THAT is so heart warming as this letting go is the only way that we women can become the change we want to see,
You too, dear Hilary, are courageously facing your own challenges successfully and your other comment has me excited. What I also get to see is that nobody has a bad story as the outcome of a journey like this. We all have moved forward in wonderful ways and THAT is of course because we enter our heart centered self with this journey.
OH, I too love all the people here, all the women and the courageous men who are sharing themselves here as well.
We are making a difference, we are sending ripples and that is so promising and so enormously prescious.
Hugs to you, Wilma
Hi Hilary
The training wheels are on and I am on a steep learning curve my friend and I certainly do not feel alone here. I am in total awe at the outpouring of love and encouragement here as you cheer me on to ‘come into my own’ as it were.
To have this place and space to work things out, to learn from you guys is an extraordinary experience. As Patty said, each of us are at a different place on the same path. Our collective experiences are dynamite. Together we can blow this whole thing wide open and gain access to living authentic lives, fueled by the heart. That is worth breaking glass barries for.
‘All is well” , appreciate the reminder. I learned that from Wilma and John and it settles me down no end. Thank you Hilary for your take on this and for your continuous love. Here’s to us all living a life we LOVE xxxxxx
Oh dear brave and beautiful Ann-Marie, I am sorry I was not here sooner. My computer was hacked this week and I’ve spent the whole week sorting out. I read this when you first put it up didn’t have any brain left to comment. I’ve been up many nights having to do computer virus scans and more.
i will say this, that if my boat went down, you are someone I would proudly want in my raft. Although this is very daunting and, as you said, you feel scared sh*tless, you are a woman of GREAT courage. We don’t have to FEEL courage to be courageous. In fact, I don’t think courage is ever felt until “later”, after we are through the “ripping and tearing” away from the old, and have moved into our new sense of self. Or better yet, the self we ALWAYS knew was there, the self we truly ARE.
I got shivers reading your words here. It the most honest sharing I’ve ever read. You did something for me here today. I have people (who know me) tell me that I shouldn’t be so open or honest or loving online, but it is who I AM Ann Marie, and I am done with trying to be something I am not. Wilma and you both confirmed this for me in one of your past posts and in many other of posts as well. I cannot hide with the rest of world anymore. What is the point in living. So many people hide, and that’s okay, it’s their choice and we all learn in our own time. But I am too free inside and filled with too much love to sequester myself away. Love doesn’t hide.
It is the VERY OPENNESS on these pages, and through the emails from you, Wilma and John that have drawn me in such a HUGE HUGE way. I come here because it is REAL. It is SO real that I feel my greatest connection here, as If I already know you all and you know me. I cherish that. Too much of my life I was conditioned and taught to “hold back” and to follow social edict. And it did nothing but kill me. I am a good person and what others feel in response to me is theirs to explore. I can’t stop being me so that others can feel comfortable, so that I don’t rock the boat, I don’t upset anyone, I don’t force them to grow or look inside.
You dear Ann-Marie are rocking the boat in being truly yourself, even if all that “self” is: …is that you “don’t know”. Good for you!! You are wise beyond your years. I couldn’t get over how young you looked and YET you have the wisdom of someone much older. Not that older people are always wise. But you have the wisdom of a much older WISE person. You can and do have great faith in Life. We CAN let go and all will be “seen”, taken care of, and moved into beautiful harmony. I remind myself this each day.
Getting to know you is one of the great gifts in my life. I will hold you in my thoughts, without even having to think about doing so. You are just a part of me. I love you and am so grateful for you. Robin
Robin Easton´s last blog ..The Power of Our Beliefs
Robin as always you have the words to delve deeper into what is going on here.
I adore these words;
Ann-Marie, like most of us was so stopped being ME, but she is realizing that and as you say what a wonderful wise thing to realize that at her age. She has a midlife crisis in her 30th. lucky AM.
Therefore instead of going into much upset, we need to see the wholesome ‘what is so’, a glorious chance to become self expressed and open to let Life in.
And she will with all of us pulling her in and showing her the image of what is possible.
Oh, what a sight to see and Robin I am forever grateful to have you here and you did it despite all the hacker trouble. That is a miracle, you are a miracle, hugs and hugs, Wilma
Dearest Robin, you are here.
This is what it is about; doing the things you love, being committed to yourself and your life even when life comes at ya and deals you a curve ball, like computer hackers. You STILL show up. I am in awe at your BE-ing Robin and the depth to which you know your heart centered self. I adore that you see how it is reflected in others.
Rocking the boat is what you do best Robin and it is not to stroke your ego, NO it is far bigger than THAT, it is about being fully expressed from your heart center and being in LOVE with yourself and every single thing in your life. You radiate LOVE Robin and you can see the enormous possibility that can create for women, men and this planet.
I am learning to rock my boat and your words spoke directly to me ‘I am done with trying to be something I am not’. I am on the journey and “I don’t know” will lead me to places I thought unimaginable.
From my heart to yours Robin; Thank You for being love in action and for being the ray of light that you are.
Much Love Ann-Marie xxxx
I’m new to your blog and taking it all in but I am just writing to say that I am so thankful that you are all here. Ann Marie your post resonated so much with me b/c just the other day I thought “I don’t know how to play anymore.” It made me so so sad. I too am trying to learn to love life again and to surrender…to disengage from the constant chatter of my ego that binds me to my past and to let go. I’m looking forward to reading more of this site and everyone’s wonderful and insightful posts. On a positive note, I am surrounded my 26″ of snow and managed to make some jewelry and throw a few shovelfuls of snow at my husband giggling like a fool so the child in me is not quite silenced yet! There is hope!
Hi Dayle, how cool to have you resonate with what we are doing here. I am Wilma, Ann-Marie’s blog partner and as we are sharing the load you can get me to comment as well.
Yes, the ego chatter is horrendous and never very joyful or uplifting, on the contrary going for a past that should be long gone.
Dayle, good on you to enjoy the snow, nature is such a good one to call our heart-centered forward and bring the joy back into our lives. We don’t have snow here but when there are autumn leaves, they have that effect on me.
Yes, Dayle, you have arrived amongst an amazing bunch of women, so welcome to our quest for joy and living from the heart.
Big hug, Wilma
Hi Dayle, Welcome to the conversation!
Sounds like you too recognize the havoc the ego can play on us and how it locks down our heart center. This indeed is a journey of discovery and as said before we are all on the same path but at different stages.
Your words resonated …
That’s what we are up to here on this blog with these conscious women who are going for it in life so Dayle, keep throwing those shovelfuls of snow and let your heart sing loud. That’s what I’m lookimg to do also.
Hugs to you Ann-Marie
Anne Marie — I am so proud of you for recognizing this need in you to take a break. All too often, we don’t do this. Instead, we keep thinking that things will get better. Usually, they don’t until we take the time to figure out just what needs to be changed or take the rest our bodies are crying to receive.
I’m always reminded how farmers allow their fields time to be fallow. They don’t plant them, but let them just sit for a growing season. Nothing is expected of the field and it has a chance to rejuvenate itself. Then when it’s soil is ready again to support growth, the farmer replants.
You’re just going fallow for awhile — to get yourself rejuvenated. I know it will be long before you too are ready to plant and grow healthy and happy again:~)
Sara´s last blog ..Tempering the Type A Personality
Hi Sara.
I love this analogy with fields being fallow. At the moment we have paddocks being fallow and it is amazing what is coming up.
Suspension, a void is indeed so necessary and I so love it that again nature can teach us this.
We just plunder our heart-centered self with our endless lists of compulsive tasks that take us away from finding out what we want to do, just as farmers can plunder the soil. It becomes barren and not very furtile and now it needs feeding of junk chemicals instead of being allowed to restore and feed itself.
Sara, your nature example is ace, thanks a mil, xox Wilma
Sara, nature is a wonderful teacher, there is much to learn from it if we are open to it. Being fallow is a part of the growth process, I relate to this big time yet so often I rush in and fill the vacuum back up with absolute rubbish so much so that it becomes land fill instead of fertile ground. That is what I am on the look out for, ensuring that I give myself the chance to rejuvenate.
I’m so grateful that I have you women here egging me on. Thank you Sara for your contribution. Hugs to you Ann-Marie
Wow, after looking through your blog (and I love it) now I know why you left that comment on my blog! I thought I was busy! Great job! I love all your pics too! You do this all yourself? Awesome!
cheryl
Hi Cheryl.
Ann-Marie and I, Wilma are the ones behind this blog and we also have an online learning program to support women to let go of all the ’shoulds’ and ‘musts’ and false pretences in their lives. We are about making ourselves, basecamp, strong, so we can finally get to live authentically and be proud of who we are.
It all starts with observing the false pretences in our daily life as that is in the end where we can practice unearhting our indigenous ME.
Great you enjoyed your visit, that is always fun to hear. Love Wilma
Cheryl, welcome to this conversation. As Wilma said we are about women, all women living life from the heart and being proud of who we are.
I am slap bang in the middle of observing these false pretences in my life and learning how to come to grips with them so I can be free.
Pleased you saw something you liked. Hugs to you. Ann-Marie
This was just as inspiring to read as Wilma’s post, because it was honest and raw, and shared what it really means to ‘awaken’. I think this doesn’t just happen once in a lifetime, but over and over in waves…although some waves are bigger than others, and it sounds like you are in a big one…everyone has already offered lots of great advice, so i won’t give more, but I do look forward to hearing how you move through it. Peace- Lisa
Lisa (mommymystic)´s last blog ..Chakra Booklist
Hi Lisa, yes to move forward we have to stop and take stock and that can feel like a death but when you look at nature it can also mean winter.
Sitting still will allow seeds to come up that ohterwise get trampled under our busy feet. So all is well and thanks for ‘connecting’ Lisa, xox Wilma
Hi Lisa,
Wave after wave, that is the journey to having ME, my heart center show up 24/7 in my life. Yes this is a big wave, however many have ridden it before me and have landed on while sandy beaches, where they live extraordinary lives.
Lisa this is an awakening, to see the wholesome ‘what is so’. It is in this place that life lived from the heart is created and I wish that for me and all women to experience it like this.
Appreciate you being here xxxxx