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Ann-Marie on The Third Person in our Relationships
Aligned relationships keep the Ego in check!
This week’s post explained the difference between aligned and parallel relationships.
From Wilma’s sharing we could see how being aligned with our loved one achieves wonderful results, almost effortlessly.
There is flow; problems still arise however they are dealt with in a constructive, productive way that supports each person.
We may indeed be causing results in our relationships but the point to note here is; how are we going about creating these results?
Are we aware that there is a third person, the Ego, lurking around in the foreground of our relationship and are we aware of how much turmoil and upset the Ego wreaks.
Jodi eluded to this in her comment;
My husband and I have worked very hard at cultivating an aligned relationship. Together, we are stronger. Sometimes I get frustrated because I notice my ego creeping in again. I know better and usually cut it off, but it causes me grief regardless. Oh how I would love to experience an abiding awakening and never struggle with ego again!
The bottom line is that our Ego’s play havoc in our relationships and it lures us in to a false sense of security, even letting us think that we have aligned relationships when we don’t. It is a master at disguising the wholesome ‘what is so’ and will do it’s best to drive our thoughts, conversations and subsequent actions to it’s troublesome advantage.
As Wilma said to Jodi; “the Ego is incredibly dominant“ and having the words to describe what is going on gives us immense clarity. As we find answers to our questions about our relationships, the confusion caused by the Ego tends to subside.
We recognize what is so, we see the part we play in it and we have the tools to stop it from re-occurring.
It is an ongoing vigil and something that requires our attention and effort to keep our Ego squarely in check.
Tess captured it so precisely and shared how she is still acutely aware of the chaos that the Ego can unleash in her relationship even though she’s been married for 38 years.
I believe Roger and I worked on our ego stuff when we first entered therapy when I was in my mid twenties…once we had the tools there was no stopping us.
To this day we still go to ACIM meetings and resolve to get our egos out of the way anytime we fall into an old rut. I remember the feeling when we knew our marriage was going to be forever.
I was blessed to have a partner that was willing to grow with me and continues to do so to this day. I tell him all the time, “God sent you to me!”To have an aligned and fruitful relationship without a third party; a dominant Ego takes a willingness and a concerted effort on BOTH partner’s behalf. The alternative, well we know what that is and as Jodi said sometimes it just isn’t worth it to keep trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.
If we are not wise to it, our Ego will mask what is actually going on and while our relationships may appear rosy on the outside, it is a different story on the inside.
This week my husband and I came smack up against ourselves – two Egos fighting it out.
While I know that this behavior doesn’t serve either of us we both fell so easily into the trap and it certainly was no fun.
It turned an already difficult and emotional situation into a horrid experience.
My husband is moving out and we are separating on a trial basis.
The day for him to leave arrived and our Ego’s went to town. He still moved out, the result was achieved BUT we were left feeling battered throughout the entire episode.
As we both went into freak out mode, we became completely disempowered and our Ego’s feasted on our fear and upset.
Paralyzed by this we could not support each other or access the wholesome ‘what is so’ of the situation. So we struggled through separately with very little conversation, adding an unnecessary amount of stress and upset onto an already very emotional situation.
And that SUCKED!
It wasn’t until the very the last minute as my husband was about to leave did we finally access our hearts and express what was going on for us in a way that was honest and loving.
We became present to each other and listened intently to what each of us had to say. We got to a heart centered place however it took some doing.
This has shown me how rooted the Ego is in me and how it has me automatically behave in a certain way and how I am stopped by it when problems occur.
Robin on the other hand gave us a very fine example of how she and her partner operate in alignment when the sh*t hits the fan …
We stop and talk it out and make choices TOGETHER! And we face it as a team and decide how to deal with it…and we each express our bottom line feeling…like fatigue, fear, sadness, frustration, whatever it is. But we don’t blame, accuse, shame or punish the other person or ourselves. We genuinely want each other to be happy, and treated with compassion, honesty and love.
My whole book project has taken all my time and intense focus and work. I’ve been going from dawn till late night the last couple of weeks (7 days a week) and my sweetheart has been helping me and we are both exhausted…AND YET we are strong and KIND and our solid bond allows the sh*t to hit the fan (all the work, the plumbing broke, the toilet leaked water everywhere, etc….) and yet we stay close and do not let the external storms of daily life and the world rip us from our moorings.
Thank You Robin, that’s nailed it for me.
Bottom line is the Ego always has an effect and it still shows up in aligned relationships, however it can be quickly recognized and dealt with so that it does not take over the conversation or control the situation. It takes constant vigilance and commitment.
The acid test for relationships is quite simple – look at the results that you are producing and pay particular attention to HOW you are doing it – together or separately, easily or doing it your Ego’s way?
For me, to have the words to explain what is going on in our relationships and to really know what makes a difference to create fully aligned partnerships is pure gold.
While many of us are still in training, we do have access to explanations, that help us with what is actually required to be an aligned heart centered team in our relationships.
There are many miles to travel as the Ego is strong, it still breeds fear, competes and controls, however it is possible to smother it with awareness and let it die.
For that we need to learn how to come to grips with its manipulative ways as Wilma will share with you in the next post.
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24 Comments to “Ann-Marie on The Third Person in our Relationships”
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Oh Ann-Marie, you are a champ to have been able to observe yourself and what is going on while in such an emotionally loaded situation.
And as you say there is a lot of gold to be had when you have the tools to be able to do that. Phew; well we worked at it though, I might add and I am proud of the result you created. It must have made such a difference for you both to get it together at the last minute.
When you read a book like Eckhart Tolle’s ‘New Earth’ you only get to really understand what he is talking about when you are able to observe the destructiveness of the ego in your own daily life.
And it sticks its nose in everywhere.
I do agree, to have the words to explain what is going on, makes such a difference.
Big hugs to you buddy, you are doing great, xox Wilma
Wilma, yes I feel quite relieved to be learning ways to combat my Ego and deal with the Ego’s of others. Now that I am aware of the utter destruction it can cause. I hear the Ego leading the conversation in many quarters, particularly in response to our separation. And Wilma from our buddy chats we have seen how caged-in society has become as a result of the Ego running the show.
I see these explanations here as strong allies; they give me clarity and as you said make a huge difference. I am so very clear about ‘what is so’ and see a massive opportunity for Brent and myself to develop the ability to create a heart centered team, together or with someone else.
Change is definitely afoot and that feels so good.
Big hugs to you too xxx
Hi Ann-Marie and Wilma,
The ego totally sucks. It sucks out all kinds of positive energy and makes every situation a nail that needs to be hammered.
I commend you for bringing out into the open your situation with your husband. I am glad that you were able to talk to each other just as he was about to leave.
Marianne Williamson has a quote where she says that often in relationships people would rather be right than be happy. I think there is a lot of truth to that statement.
The thing that I find funny is that when we fall in love with someone, we fall in love with not only their good points but their not so good points too. That is what makes them who they are. We have to accept the complete package. If I expect my husband to endure the fact that I often change my mind or my other quirks then I owe him the same freedom too.
Love does not control or try to mold, it accepts who the person is and if two people are not aligned, then it is okay if they split too. I am not of the belief that two people have to stay together forever. People should stay together if they still help each other to grow. If one person is holding another person back, then sometimes it is best to end the relationship.
I think a person knows when the time has come to take different paths. And if two people do split paths, I do not think that is a failed relationship either. Some people are meant to be together for a short period and some are meant to be together for a whole lifetime. To each their own.
By the way, Robin did a wonderful job in describing the importance of being a team. I think when two people work together as a team, the results are better.
Nadia – Happy Lotus´s last blog ..Turning Castles in the Air Into Reality
Dear Nadia, I just LOVE what you wrote here:
I have thought these same things and found them to be true from my own life experience. It is SO good to see them written right out like this. Absolutely!!! Hugging you! Robin
Robin Easton´s last blog ..Will Humans Survive?
Nadia, what gems! .
Imagine if this heart centered way that you speak of here was the automatic response for humanity; what peace that would bring to so many individuals, so many families, society and this planet.
I am of the same opinion as you, when couples separate, I do not see it as a failure. The only ‘failure’ is to deny oneself, to compromise one’s soul and to live in denial. That’s how I see my situation.
I also realize that the Ego lives on, for now anyway, and blocks access to this freedom to be oneself. For me to be able to articulate and explain what is going on in my marriage has been so valuable, because now Brent and I have understanding and a way to peacefully deal with what is so. It isn’t always the case but we are focused on doing separation differently.
And as I said above some of our family members are finding that so weird.
I love that you said
What a contribution to everyone involved and a honest evaluation of what is happening, if only the Ego could see it that way!
Thank you Nadia, for the gold that you have given us here.
Much love to you.
Ann-Marie and Wilma, I kept trying to choose my favorite line and I think while I love Jodi’s first remark shared here, and then Ann-Marie and finally Nadia — I had to laugh and it’s exactly how I feel. I am so fet up with this ego thing. lol. Nadia: “The ego totally sucks. It sucks out all kinds of positive energy and makes every situation a nail that needs to be hammered.” Now, that I see so much of it peeking around the bushes all the time ready to jump in, I just want to smack it a good one, .. and tell it to leave once for all. I know that the ego is something we have to continue to ‘not participate with’. but I like Jodi just wish we could struggle and be free of it. I truly desire quality relationships and harmony and want to experience a natural flow here. Sometimes I really do, and then other times I get into this pocket of rough patches and it feels I’m not intending to but I’m stepping on some toes and so I have to withdraw for a bit to really “starve it” and make sure I’m being transparent from my core again.
Congrats to you Ann-Marie for the successful conversation closing that day because it is tough to do that when it starts to get nasty. I wish you all the best also as we all try to work in these areas. sincerely, Jenn
Jenn´s last blog ..Checking-In for Week 1: Honoring Your Self /Your Body’s Needs
Jenn,
I hear you processing. Coming to grips with the Ego and its manipulative even destructive ways leads us toward living a heart centered life. And recognizing its tactics as you do is a great starting point. We oscillate between the Ego running the show and the heart having its say – it is swings and roundabouts! To develop the tools to be able to catch the Ego when it goes off on one makes the difference to having a life that works for us.
It has amazed me just how peaceful it is when there is totally clarity in a given situation, one that is NOT masked by the Ego. The situation tends not to go to a ‘nasty’ place. That is what I’ve experienced in the latter part of this week and it feels good.
Hugs to you.
Dear Ann-Marie, I am hugging you for your honesty here. I find you very brave and applaud your courage to share what is going on in your life. You are an inspiration to me and every woman (and man) who comes here. I have been in the situation you speak of many years ago, so I understand the pain and the whole process you went through the day your husband and you separated.
As I read this I had really one main thought, which I don’t even know if I can express clearly. It is how I melt away ego in my own life, which is this: When we can speak our bottom line true heart feelings in these situations, whether that feeling is deep hurt, injustice, fear, feeling like we aren’t enough, feeling like we aren’t pretty enough, feeling like we will be alone, feeling like there is someone better, feeling like we are angry because we can’t control the situation, hurt over the loss, fear of being alone, feeling betrayed, WHATEVER we are REALLY feeling within ourselves…iNDEPENDENT of the other person, by that I mean what we really feel in our heart of hearts in the dark of night alone by ourselves…if we can express this to the other person (without expecting anything from them — done simply as a sharing– or a soul healing — then we are automatically left with NO need to defend our egos. There nothing left to defend. There IS no ego. No manipulation, nothing. We are just what we ARE. We are like the tree, which just IS. And all the fight goes out of us. Even if “other” doesn’t respond the way we may want or even appreciate our honest sharing, at least WE are living our truth and speaking our truth and BEING what we REALLY ARE. Not some ego concocted mania and weirdness that is all tangled up with the other person and how they respond and what they haven’t said or had said and on and on. If we can do this we are left in a place of deep peace, even if it is painful, scary or foreign to us.
It can be hard to express ourselves in this way because what it means is that, one: we are left with are true selves, which can be scary, and two: that we then must take responsibility for our own lives (feelings, actions, etc) we are forced to look at WHAT we really feel, which can often be painful or overwhelming or unknown and so on…and often mean change, letting go, growth, and so forth. We are forced to see that NO ONE is responsible for our happiness, that the other soul doesn’t owe us anything. That is SUCH a biggy.
BUT the upside to all this is that we ARE free. We are free from EGO and develop a strong sense of ourselves and are at peace with Life and others. In this rock bottom place we come face to face with a self that is sooooooo familiar to us that we feel we have always know this person…ourselves. It is a feeling akin to going home. Being true to ourselves can at times seem lonely, but in that deep darkness their is the light of…call it God, The Creator, the Infinite Loving Universe, the peace that hit you and your husband at the very end, is the peace of “god”…without ego. It is both parties experiencing the god within each other.
I love you and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. You are a remarkable soul. Thank you for inspiring me SO much. Robin
Robin Easton´s last blog ..Will Humans Survive?
Dearest Robin
You see me; you see this journey, what’s involved and the lengths we need to go to. And your description of the ‘what is so’ in relationships is so very vivid. You know what it takes to become fully responsible for your own life and how much effort it takes to confront and dissolve the ego.
I appreciate your acknowledgement that it is a brave thing to do. I have gotten my strength from WomenLikeMe and you ladies here on this blog. Thank you.
I am learning how to express myself, I am gathering the tools to triumph over the Ego and it IS worth going to this place even though it is ‘painful, scary and foreign’.
There is much craziness to the maniac that is the Ego and the wave of destruction it causes is on a massive scale. It is vital to squash it as our freedom and the planets depend on our ability to have our Ego’s die. And you Robin described that process so well.
Thank you Robin for such insights, for creating possibility, for showing how freedom is achieved and the beauty of this is, that it IS available for every single person. Just think how glorious everyone’s relationships would be.
YOU are the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow
Much love
Ann-Marie
Wow, Ann-Marie, I send my loving thoughts and feelings to you. However this turns out for you down the road, I know it is a time of transition and adjustment. I’m so glad to hear you’re finding gold. And I believe we’re all in training, no matter how much we seem to have figured out. Maybe we’re on different parts of the path, but we’re on the path nevertheless. So from my spot on the path, I say to you: take extra good care, and lavish love and attention on yourself right now.
Patty – Why Not Start Now?´s last blog ..The Kindness of Strangers
Hello Patty
Yes this is a time of transition and adjustment. I see it as a renaissance. And whether we stay together or go our separate ways, at this moment there is much to be thankful for; we both have time to create, time to freely express, time to accept, time to die and time to be reborn. It is all available to us because we have aligned agreement and a shared understanding of what is so.
I love that you said we are all in training and on ‘different parts of the same path’, Patty. We are all working life out and doing it together makes such a difference to how we experience the journey.
Lavishing love and attention on myself is something that I am doing even though the Ego is keeping watch.
Hugs to you
Ann Marie, I’m so sorry for what you’re going through and am sending loving, positive energy your way – for your entire family.
Intimate relationships seem to be the most difficult thing we engage ourselves in, don’t they? I mean, they give EGO countless scenarios to behave badly and sort of force us to consistently see ourselves reflected back through our partner’s eyes. I joke that maybe it’s why I’ve stayed single so long! Who needs the headache?!
Truth be told, though, as your posts and people’s comments have pointed out, intimate relationships, while trying at times, are also the most beautiful canvases on which to paint the language of our hearts.
Maybe the trick is remaining centered in our hearts even when things get difficult beyond recognition.
I’m not sure because honestly, I’m still in spectator’s mode for the most part.
Be well, be joyful, and may love surround all that you do.
Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s last blog ..Authenticity = New Definitions
Megan,
Thank you for thinking of me, however please do not feel sorry for what is happening at this time. As I said above to Patty, this is a good thing. To have been able to get to the wholesome ‘what is so’ and see my relationship in that light is something I feel very blessed about.
This is by no means a walk in the park, my Ego is battling me every step of the way but this is authentic, this is what life is about when my heart is in charge. And yes to achieve intimate relationships takes energy, work and focus which may appear difficult in the eyes of the Ego but so worth it for the heart.
It is no accident that our partners hold the mirror up and reflect the good in us and the ‘bad’. To create the oneness that Robin speaks of we have to be willing to see it; the alignment of the heart and the parallel workings of the Ego!
You said “Intimate relationships, while trying at times, are also the most beautiful canvases on which to paint the language of our hearts” I am holding these words and looking forward to painting a masterpiece.
Hugs to you
Hi Megan, I do not believe you are a spectator, you are engaging in togetherness I am sure.
I love what you say here; “Maybe the trick is remaining centered in our hearts even when things get difficult beyond recognition.”
I would say that you expand on that very well in your latest post.
I love how that is about staying heart centered and daring to go beyond what your ego perceives as status quo and daring to go to your own new authentic definitions.
Megan, that is what we are on about here as well, daring to follow your heart and going to a ‘what is so’ that is wholesome and loving and daring to let go of what you think should be. AND I love that you also acknowledged SuZen’s support as that so reflects what she expressed here as well, how blessed we are that we all are in this together.
Megan, in my books you are far more than a spectator, love Wilma
Dear Ann-Marie,
First, big hugs! Secondly, you sure have some wonderfully supportive friends here giving you strength (I hope!) to get thru this transition. Sounds like most of us have been where you are – I know I have!
Ironically the independent-woman my husband fell in love with was also the problem.
I’d become dependent on him (stay-at-home mom) and felt I’d lost all power and control, felt guilt I wasn’t “contributing” – so much centered around money, so much was ego! And yes, ego sucks! But I’ve found myself “on alert” for it and the moment I acknowledge it roaring its ugly head, and say thank you for trying to preserve yourself to it, (”me” saying this to ego), it seems to dissipate almost entirely. I’ve come to know my ego is some pathetic (because it’s so negative) self-preservation monitor that wants me to be right all the time. Realizing that I can give up the right to BE right all the time and still survive in tact has been a relationship-saving attitude.
I cannot recommend New Earth (as Wilma mentioned) highly enough! My husband and I BOTH read it, did the Oprah classes together and listen to his book on tape when we take our drives (6 hrs) up to the lake house. It has brought up some issues that we have calmly discussed, and the healing that has taken place is simply astounding. We’ve been married almost 30 years but we seriously would not have made it without Tolle.
The love and respect we had for each other from the beginning has evolved into a sweet and compassionate kindness toward one another. I wish I could bottle this and send it to you as a vitamin pill – just know, and believe, that where there is love there is hope.
Hugs,
suZen
suzen´s last blog ..The Magic of Giving – Healing 101
Dear SuZen
Your hugs are great, thanks and yes I find that this conversation here with you and the other fab women to be quite extraordinary; they lift me up, encourage me and surround me with in a veil of love. And the words and sharing here keep reaffirming that there is another way to do life differently. And I feel enormously thankful that I have such sponsorship around me. THANK YOU everybody from my heart to yours!
I definitely don’t feel alone here, I see so much of myself in these comments. And I am sure that there are others that see themselves also. You describe the ‘independent woman’ syndrome as if you have been sitting on my sofa watching me in action! I appreciate you sharing this.
You nailed it when you said
Oh SuZen when we can see the part we play in our relationships, it can be a relief to know that it is mostly down to our queen size Ego and that it can be addressed provided we have the know how. Yet it also alarming to notice how much of our Ego contributes to our automatic responses.
Brent, my husband bought me ‘The New Earth’ this week and he wrote on the cover page …’to new beginnings’ and that’s what this is. I feel your compassionate kindness SuZen and know that this book is my vitamin pill!
Much love x
Ann-Marie,
I think it is amazing that you can step back and be as candid as you are in the midst of something new and a bit difficult for you. Lots of Love and Light to you and your family as you sort this out.
The word separation has such negative connotations. The act of separation, however, can be that of a sacred space and time to release fear and allow faith to step in and heal. Yes, Ego can be destructive, but once you recognize it Ego can also be a huge motivating factor to growth resulting in gratitude and openness to more peace, joy, love–your central foundation.
The fact that your heart is open as you sort through all of this information, that you *want* to make a heart centered decision is huge Ann-Marie. A heartfelt to you!
Joy
Joy´s last blog ..Storms….
Oh Joy
Awesome! Thank You for your love and insightful comment. The definition you gave ’separation’ creates such freedom to be.
To read your words is just so wonderful. You are a conscious women, you see that it takes an open heart and that this type of separation is so healthy for the soul, I wish for more people to see it as so instead of the dramatic, ego festered explanation that seems to be the norm.
I think your take on the Ego is useful- “once you recognize it Ego can also be a huge motivating factor to growth resulting in gratitude and openness to more peace, joy, love” Seeing the ego as so and unleashing it’s hold over us will lead to growth of the heart.
Thank You Joy. xxx
Hi Ann-Marie .. egos are so tricky aren’t they. Not having a partner – the ego can reign, but definitely should not in normal day to day life – we need to operate at the same level as Robin expressed so well – come from a point of togetherness.
Tess had a supportive spouse who concurred that they both needed to deal with their challenges – fortunately others do the same.
The starting point of togetherness or as Tess that concurrence is the difficult bit – is it not? Unless the awareness that Ann-Marie and her husband has … as they are going through this process and they both have Wilma and John around where influences emanate.
Also in those explosive situations of a split a decision has been made … the influences of togetherness that starting point, that heart centred point needed to have been brought to the fore (days) earlier. From experience the last minute is (almost) too late – as ‘decisions’ and ‘plans’ have been laid for moving on … presumably that is why so many splits continue to be acrimonious.
To get to Robin’s point of togetherness late in the ‘event’ .. would need to be addressed way earlier in the relationship …. or in the event if you’re single like me.
If you’re single you make decisions and that’s it – because it’s simple to you. You don’t need to consider the depths of why you’re being asked that yes/no, or what’s behind that which you have just reacted to. How can I help? … is a good initiator if you’re not in a relationship .. other aspects will come into play if you are ..
You’ve set it out so clearly for us .. look at the results you’re producing and any future ahead and the impact your actions will have on that future .. do you want that?
So true .. thank you – really well explained with the help of wonderful participants ..
With love and thought ..
Hilary Melton-Butcher
Positive Letters Inspirational Stories
Hilary´s last blog ..A bet on the Eleven Cities Tour or the Winter Olympics being held?
Hilary
Yes ego’s are tricky; we can be so blinded to the fact that most of the time they run the show. That is why it can take so long to get to the point of togetherness in a given situation. Once we are aware of our ego we can observe it and given practice, get to our heart centered self earlier.
Its how we get there that is worth taking a look at, how we act out our decisions.
You brought up an interesting point about being single;
I think that the same can apply to relationships as it’s vital that each party remains as individuals. Shakespeare said ‘to thine own self be true’ – and aligned partnerships tend to keep this at the forefront.
Thanks Hilary for being such an awesome contribution to this conversation
Love to you x
Hi Ann-Marie .. thanks for that. I absolutely agree we’re all individual .. I think what I was trying to get over .. is the fact that being single – we don’t’ have the opportunity of togetherness .. so we make the decision – yet we need to take into account your post & remember that somehow someway we need to get to togetherness in spite of not having a partner.
That will occur in all major (& if appropriate minor) decisions – it may not appear to matter to anyone but us, because we don’t know the background – the reason we’re being asked .. or the underlying other factors.
Thanks for coming back to me! Go well and look after you and yours ..
love Hilary
Hilary´s last blog ..A bet on the Eleven Cities Tour or the Winter Olympics being held?
Oh Hilary, single or married, connectedness can be missing and having a partner is no guarantee that there is togetherness and that is so sad. Having a partner can even prevent getting togetherness as you think that what you have is togetherness when it actually is not.
I do agree that we need to seek togetherness at an even wider scale, within living communities so that we all can have it, single, old, young, whatever age or stage.
Even family like siblings or parents is not always a community in which we have togetherness.
I think togetherness full stop is something most of us do not have. Most of us have parallel relationships without even knowing that aligned ones exists or how they look like.
At the moment where most of us have a chance to find aligned togetherness is in communities of our choice, like here on this blog and in the blogging community, at WomenLikeMe and everywhere else where people are seeking change in how they communicate together.
So where we think we should find togetherness most of us don’t, so Hilary I am pleased to have you here to enjoy your company and your astute comments, long may this continue, love Wilma
Ann Marie,
What a honest powerful message you have shared. It really enlightened me to how powerful the ego really is. I’ve had some struggles lately with ego. Mine is very, very stubborn. My saving grace was being honest with myself and therefore stripping it’s negative force.
I love how you came together, to listen, and work togther. Then to share your story so we could relate. What a blessing to me. Thank you!
Angelia,
I am so relieved to hear that you are wising up to the ego. It is such a powerful force and has so many facets to it. I am astounded at the complete havoc it causes. The first step to diffuse it is to recognise when it is having it’s say which is far easier daid than done. So much of the ego hides out in the blind spot and we don’t even see it.
Honesty and seeing the wholesome ‘what is so’ is a strong tactic to take with the ego, so go you and keep chipping away and stripping that negative force.
Sharing is the key to unlocking all of this, and you Angelia are a big part of this.
You too are a blessing. Hugs to you Ann-Marie