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Context is King.
- Different context, different conversation, new experience. John picking apples.
“Our context either holds us firmly where we are or allows us to become the change we want to see.”
(WomenLikeMe on Context is King –How to use it Powerfully)
To become the change you want to see, you have to carefully choose the context you live in. For most of us it is the context that either eggs us on or drags us back.
And with context I am referring to the daily conversations you are having.
I came to New Zealand to live differently but all I managed to do was live a similar life in another country. Big deal!
Nothing changed because the conversations I had with my ex-husband and with friends were the same as I had in Holland.
The conversations focused on problems and never on possibility and solutions.
Living was fearful and even with money in the bank scarcity conversations prevailed and change became impossible.
The conversation was certainly not directed at trust, abundance and joy; it was on worry, what could go wrong and doing it all myself.
My big changes happened after I started living with John. I first noticed that the daily conversations he had were very different from the ones I was used to.
He consistently talked about abundance, freedom and possibilities, I consistently continued to talk about lack, duty and what was NOT possible.
I talked about the future I could NOT have and how I could never save enough money, while he talked about what he needed to buy today to make his life work now!
How’s THAT for a big difference in conversations. And John’s conversations make a huge difference in how he lives his life, what he creates from day to day!
He mentioned month long holidays in which the sea kayaks could take us to the most isolated wilderness places, he explained about combining resources, he expressed how working less was the way to go.
He even suggested I gave up my full time job!
What????
He had conversations with me about what would be possible when I gave up my job; I could only come up with all the negative things that could happen.
I said he was crazy and that we would end up living on the streets.
His response was that I was talking fearfully and not used to living life to the full and looking for creative solutions.
It is disturbing to observe that in the early days of our relationship my conversations had the power to undermine even John’s feelings of well being.
My worry and continuous questioning of his suggestion that I stop work, wore him out.
After a frustrating day at work, I would come home to find John in the best of moods.
He had a good day but not for long.
Within the hour, like clockwork, my same old complaints about work would bring down his mood big time.
John had little or no defense, what else could he say? He had already told me to give up my job, so I could have good days too.
Anything he would have said in his defense would have been shot down with a barrage of my old beliefs about the virtue of working hard, earning lots of money and how lazy people never would get anywhere.
It is quite obvious that our relationship would have collapsed if I’d have let my conversations prevail.
My savior was that I started to shut up and began to listen to the difference between John’s conversations and mine.
His were definitely more fun to listen to than my own.
His life was definitely more joyful and exciting than mine.
He had done amazing things while I was not up to much.
I had a big mouth, he had big projects.
It was not until I interrupted my conversations of impossibilities that I gained access to what else was possible.
The proof is in the pudding how conversations support change.
I came to New Zealand to live in nature 28 years ago. It took me till last year and lots of conversations about possibilities with John to have that finally happen.
Need I say more??????
Now that I have my own conversations of possibilities, I experience how my old contexts of friends and family stop me and how they make me feel insecure and inarticulate.
When I return to their contexts I hear my old conversations around fear, scarcity of money and impossibilities.
I only hear talk that is problem obsessed rather than solution focused and is all around the importance of working hard but not smart.
I notice the effect they have on me.
After seeing how life has changed through all my great daily conversations with John, it is still hard to believe how quickly and effectively those old conversations, my old context, can drag me back to my old fearful self.
In their presence I cannot articulate my new views of life and when they ask me how work is all I can do is mumble something vague and change the subject.
I do not even want to talk to them intimately anymore as I know whatever I say will meet with their disapproval and will make me feel uncomfortable.
When you realize how powerful contexts and their conversations are, then you have a chance to become the change you want to see.
44 Comments to “Context is King.”
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Wilma, this road of doing life differently has many twists and turns.
It’s an ongoing process observing what my thoughts, words and actions produce.
I am certainly not out of the woods yet.
I’m noticing how often I need to ‘interrupt my conversation of impossibilities’
Just when I think I have things sussed, wham … it comes at me; my mind and conversations with the same old outcome; ones of impossibilities.
Only this weekend, when you and John helped us with clearing the trees on our property did I notice how much ranting and raving my Little Voice was doing.
I was freaking out at the extent of the change that was happening, I was heading towards negative thoughts and a million miles from creativity and possibility.
I did however interrupt these thoughts, as in I observed them AND I had you there Wilma telling me that all was well, not listening to my Little Voice.
The funny thing is that this is what I want and while in the throws of it I was backpedaling and trying my darnedest to bring you guys with me.
I really got to see how my words can impact myself and you guys.
I keep saying it, this is a mammoth task, to create new thoughts, new conversations and new possibilities and to put the old conversations to bed once and for all.
Wilma you have turned that corner, you are brimming with possibilities and extraordinary conversation. You rock.
2010 sure will be one interesting year! xxxx
Oh Ann-Marie, there is always another level to unearth as we have many collective years of Little Voices to lay to rest.
Isn’t it amazing though that as we learn to observe and as we learn what other conversations there are to be had, we CAN change our doing.
It was grand to work all together and see the power of sponsorship we gave each other.
I love that I can observe you and see the lipstick on my own teeth as well
Man, do we still go to “it cannot be done” in a heart beat without stopping to actually unravel what our concern is.
What I found so lovely is that we did find a great place to store all the debris we pulled out, right there in a corner of your property, freaky problem solved by just calmly taking the time to converse and looking around instead of panicking.
We just went from impossible to possible in a blink of an eyelid, wow.
It showed me too that there is a lot more possible in life when we stop talking about problems and talk about solutions instead.
2010 will be interesting and I cannot wait to see what else will get transformed.
One of our blessing is that we are capable of changing our view of life. When we are clouded with disappointments, we make everything according to this view but when we see the goodness, everything will light up.
Our external world is merely a manifestation of our inner world.
Hi Walter, yes it seems so simple doesn’t it and yet it is astounding to see how much grief we still give ourselves AND others with our mindless conversations.
Words create and yet we are NOT careful with what we say, think and manifest.
It is also not easy to change the conversation we are having about ourselves, our loved ones, the world and anything else we choose to express an opinion about.
It has been really valuable to observe myself and others to experience first hand what our conversations are doing.
Language creates indeed.
Wilma, your writing always stuns me–the honesty and the way you get straight to the root of the issue is truly a gift. I know what you mean here, I experienced this, too. You touched on a big point here–that your beliefs were different than John’s and this is what held you back. That was me, too. I had a scarcity, fear-based mindset, too…beliefs I inherited from childhood and finally questioned later on. What a refreshing joy to be out of that! I love how you compared your situation to John’s, how you noticed that he was having more fun and experiencing a better life, and you let that be enough finally to convince you that his way had merit. And now you are passing this wisdom along–way to pay it forward!
Jodi at Joy Discovered´s last blog ..Planting Seeds for the New Year
Hi Jodi, I have to thank you for really listening to my words and letting them speak to you. THAT is the biggest acknowledgment I can ask for. The words are not mine, these words are formed by collective questioning, yours and mine and many others. I just collect them and put them here.
I share your sentiments about what you are saying;
It certainly is refreshing to make visible what has been invisibly steering life.
THAT has been such a revelation, to see that my life was dominated by invisible inherited conversations for goodness sake.
However to get rid of them is still easier said than done, they are somehow firmly cemented in my psyche.
But conversations like these bring things out in the open and that is so worth it.
Isn’t it great to be now aware and to be able to change. That is freedom, freedom from an invisible captain who was dominating the journey. Now we can start creating the change we want to be, for us, for our children, for the world.
Bring it on, and thanks Jodi for being part of this. Together we can do it, alone it is a lot harder if not impossible.
Love to you, Wilma
Hi Wilma,
I was so YOU….really…its uncanny how many of us were there..in the great negative context jungle of impossibilities!!
I think i had become like that cause of my experiences…the negative ones. But, i noticed this…that once I was rid of negative influences…rather when i chose to rid myself of negative influences, my conversations, my thinking, my outlook to life…all changed to Positive Possibilities. My mind was suddenly open to a brighter future. Today, your post reminded me of just how stupid i was to be wasting my time on the impossibilities..when the possibilities are so much more fun to ponder over.
Our change is in our hands….our firm decision to be that change is all thats required.
Zeenat{Positive Provocations}´s last blog ..Human Experience {Inspiration from Helen Keller}
Hi Z.
Oh I so agree with you, most of us have been there and done that, going for problems and impossibilities and then missing out.
We were not stupid though, just so ignorant of what was happening and about how and what to change, at least I was and I am sure you were not stupid too
Yes, “Our change is in our hands… ” and yet I am getting to see that there are quite a few obstacles to over come before change happens.
Ann-Marie and I so want to make the most of our lives, we so are focused on figuring out what and how to change and oh Zeenat, we still squirm and back peddle and tell each other how we cannot do it blah blah blah and we still have to consistently pull each other out of the muck we slide back into.
Old conversations are like those green bits of veggies that stick to your teeth, you got one bit of one teeth and then another bit sticks to another one and only other people notice them!
However once we know the scale of the issue, we know what we are in for and we accept that we need to go for sponsorship from others to make it happen.
And dear Zeenat, you have a great sponsor in your hubby, and good on you for using him. Imagine what conversations you are able to offer your daughter!
Hi Wilma! What a beautiful awakening you’ve had thru John’s sense of the possibilities! Your writing here is so from the heart and sincere! Sometimes it really does take shutting up and listening – that doesn’t come all that easily does it? I actually use my daily shower to remind myself to wash away negatives and emerge really clean!
Hugs
suZen
Hi SuZen, you are on the dot here that shutting up does NOT come easily.
The amount of ‘buts’ that were bursting to be propelled out off my mouth when I first heard his conversations were phenomenal.
I would have loved to have had a lock on my mouth. However I did manage to hear him somehow.
Funny, I too use the shower to clean more than just my body, I like the clear symbol of it.
Well lets rock on SuZen and how fun to have found out that you are a painter as well a a writer.
Wilma xoxo
Hey Suzen
I second that; shutting up and keeping quiet is a difficult task for me at times. My Little Voice has had so many years of free reign… squashing possibilities and replacing them with fear, scarcity and can’ts. It’s taking some amount of effort to change things round. These past three weeks I have been full on focusing on shutting up before I speak and I have found that the more I keep stump, the more possibility shows up. It’s been an interesting time. And some days when I don’t keep quiet, I need to stay under the shower for quite some time to cleanse my thoughts. Hugs to you x
Wilma, I am so glad John’s method of conversation prevailed! I wrote something similar about this in my update to my readers: “When you think something is impossible to fix, work backwards until you find something you have control over, and fix that. All of the little “fixes” we do will help the big thing get fixed as well.
When we recognize the negative things in our surroundings, we should take action to improve those things. Or, we should decide that those things are not important enough to fix, and then stop bringing them up. No one person can fix everything; each of us should find our niche and work within that, knowing that all of us together will address most of the world’s problems. You will find what you care most about and you will make a difference.”
It’s my own way of turning the impossible into the possible and finding opportunity everywhere. Thank you for sharing your experiences doing this!
Daphne´s last blog ..No Marriage Is Perfect
Hi Daphne, I too am very excited that I managed to listen and that I did not write his conversations off as pies in the sky. I have listened most of my life through filters that I did not even know existed and thus writing off many possibilities, solutions and opportunities.
I love what you say here;”When we recognize the negative things in our surroundings, we should take action to improve those things.”
However the first thing was to recognize them at all. THAT was the big turning point for me, I had a vague sense of discomfort but could not put words to them so I could not do anything with them rather than vaguely saying “this does not feel right.”
Once I got hold of new conversations, new thoughts, new ways of doing things, I could begin to see a different way of do-ing life rather than keeping my vague complaint alive.
You say some wise things in your comment Daphne, about only going for things you can change and letting go of the ones you can’t. That will save you a lot of trouble.
I am so excited that you are getting these realizations at this stage in your life, you will create an awesome life this way.
Lots of love, Wilma
Hi Wilma,
Your John sounds so much like my husband. When I first met my man, I was in the process of transforming my life. I had decided a few months prior to meeting him that I was going to start living my life based on my truth. I had no idea what was my truth but I knew I was not living it.
So along comes this guy who grew up in a very different environment than mine. He had traveled the world like me but in a totally different way. His family was much healthier than mine. He was unlike any person I had ever met. He was at peace and literally had no worries. His mindset was rooted in abundance and faith. Mine was rooted in lack and fear because that is what I was surrounded with until him.
At first, like you, I thought he was crazy. All of the things that crossed your mind, crossed mine. However, despite all my fear, I knew in my gut that he was right. I realized that my mind was rooted in lack and I just needed to see abundance.
It was like hell at first. Thankfully, my husband was patient and cheered me on. I am so grateful that I did listen to him because it changed my life around. Now I know with all my being that I can have a life that is rooted in my truth. We are living it and even though there are still some things in the works, I have come a long way. Thank God!
Nadia – Happy Lotus´s last blog ..Never Make A Mother Angry…Especially Mother Earth
Hi Nadia,
This has been me for many, many years, “I had no idea what was my truth but I knew I was not living it.”
I am still not looking for ‘a’ truth as I am scared that I will find another so called ‘truth’ that in the end is not a good truth at all.
For now I just want my heart to feel good with how I live moment by moment, so you could say that that is my truth for the moment?
Oh you and me both had to deal with this;
I had to struggle big time not to make him wrong with my mind though, my mind was having a field day in making his conversations look wrong.
You and I can only be so grateful that they were both so steadfast in their knowing, so steadfast to be able to withstand our questioning.
I am seeing around me that when one partner is not steadfast, a changed conversation has no show. I know that my ex-husband and I both were too confused to hold the space for change for each other, so we reverted back to the familiar old one.
It showed me that I so needed steadfast sponsors to even begin this journey and that is why Ann-Marie and I have set up WomenLikeMe, we have realized we cannot do it on our own.
And I too would say thank God for our husbands who are holding the space for these new conversations until we can too. And we are getting there hey Nadia, we are certainly getting there step by step.
Wilma,
I love how you’ve used your conversations with John to breathe new life into lifelong battles within ourselves. I can certainly see the advantages of not being scared, or worried, but just flow positively. I try to invoke an “everythings a blessing” mentality to my life. No matter what comes my way, it’s a blessing, good or bad. I look for all the ways God will use It to make my life and others more wonderful. I don’t have to be scared knowing this. Of course, I still let the fear creep back in. I’m glad to read this today and know I’m not alone. Thank you Wilma for digging deep into our souls.
Angelia´s last blog ..Festive Ride aboard the Jeep Express
Hi Angelia, this is a wonderful new conversation that you are having;
I can imagine that when you are focused on the good in everything you will create good.
Oh it seems so simple doesn’t it?
I would love to hear how are you getting on with keeping this conversation alive when fear sets in? or that might be a question for Ann-Marie to ask in her post. I am sure she will.
I can so see how this conversation will change a lot in your life.
I have seen it with your wonderful Dad’s passing recently. I saw how you celebrated the good he brought into your life rather than you focusing on what you would be missing. With the loving conversations about the good, you have continued to have him as a positive influence in your life. That was so beautiful to witness, Angelia and it rippled off as it made me have conversations about my own Dad and his wonderful legacy.
Oh how great conversations can contribute, so thanks and hugs to you.
Hi Wilma,
Like you, I was trapped in fear based thinking for many years. I had this scarcity mentatlity…and it made me feel and act small and petty. Along my journey towards abundance and possibilities, I found some really good guide posts – “The Tao of Pooh,” by Benjamin Hoff, “The Gift of Change” by Marianne Williamson, “Divine Intuition,” the Buddhist teachings of Nichiren Daishonen (my favorite lesson, “turning poison into medicine”), and more. I have been fortunate to meet and surrond myself with people who think in terms of abundance and gratitude rather than lack and scarcity.
Even my daughters tell me that when they ask me and their dad (my ex) the same question, he shuts them down whereas I will lift them up.
I am fortunate that in finding the love of my life, Richard looks for the possibilities as well. I can tell you that my life has changed for the better just by changing the context in which I have the conversation
Peggy at Serendipity Smiles´s last blog ..Your Moment of Bliss
Hi Peggy.
You sure have opened yourself up to different conversations and that shows the strength of your intent to live life differently.
You got the wake up calls, you listened, you are in action AND you are under no illusion what it takes.
What you say here makes my heart sing; this is what you reap as a reward when you have the courage to let your soul shine against the odds of today’s world;
Peggy, what more do we want from life, you shared with us your hero’s journey, you told us about the resistance of your daughters and you showed us how that steadfastness in the face on no agreement resulted in this wonderful relationship with your daughters.
Peggy, we are fortunate to be on this journey that many shy away from, and finding Richard is no accident either, your shining attracted him.
You keep rocking, you make it happen and I am watching with delight.
Wilma xox
Ah, Wilma, this is why I love your message and your writing: “…it is still hard to believe how quickly and effectively those old conversations, my old context, can drag me back to my old fearful self.” The thing is, we all get dragged back, with both our internal and external conversations, and I applaud you and Ann-Marie for putting that out there and continuing to remind us of this truth. We don’t have it figured out all the way. In fact, I absolutely know that this will be a life-long journey for me, I’ll never “arrive” at a place of unending abundance and fearlessness. And I think that’s good, because basically it means we’re human! James Hillman says that everything we experience in life, scarcity and abundance, difficult and sublime, has a purpose: to get us ready for who and what we truly are. If I can remember that during my episodes of fear and scarcity thinking, it creates a whole new context for me.
Patty – Why Not Start Now?´s last blog ..A Cat’s Wisdom
Hi Patty
Yes it was a relief to realize how come I am not always walking the talk, despite how much I want to.
It puts an end to beating myself up, to say like Zeenat that I am so stupid, which is not a good way to keep encouraging myself, is it?
Oh Patty, can you imagine when the whole world has conversations about possibility rather than problems, what is not right and what cannot be done?
Most of us have glimpses of the power of conversations that go for possibilities and dreams.
When I write this the image comes to mind of you and your built in college community and you having conversations on that roof top you talked about. Would they not have been conversations about possibilities?
And you had one when you took on that studio against your husband’s first disagreement conversation.
Oh how those ones give us joy and propel us forward.
And yes Patty, keep having those possibility conversations and seek them out when you notice scarcity and fear set in. I am aware that you still have a lot of plans, you are still desiring to create a lot, do not let the negative conversations stop you, please.
Wilma xox
Kia ora Wilma,
It is interesting for me to look back before I got married and moved to New Zealand. In the states as a single man I rejected the notion of pursuing “success” as defined, I guess, by the ever elusive definition of the American Dream. I traveled and spent a lot of time in my canoe or hiking, and jobs were just something to keep me going much to the disdain of many people. When I got married at 33 I moved to New Zealand and immediately became my father. I pursued the American Dream in New Zealand. How ironic is that? I mistook responsibility for becoming part of the system I had rejected. It nearly destroyed me, my relationships with my wife and my son, I became bitter, angry and withdrawn and got to the point where the only place I could feel anything was in the mountains. Until my wonderful wife put it quite bluntly to me where this was headed, and I looked in the mirror and saw what I was. It was a painful time, and it still can be, but slowly it got better, and gets better and we are finding ways to be “responsible” but also true to ourselves. The journey continues, and to read here that I am not the only one who has struggled this way in mind boggling liberating. Rave on and Happy Yuletide.
Aroha,
Robb
Robb´s last blog ..Happy Yuletide
Robb, in your comment you beautifully describe what conversations do to our life, how they can make it miserable and we have no idea what is happening.
Indeed welcome to the club and I too have found this whole conversation we are having here enormously joyful and liberating.
You say it in a nutshell here;
We immediately take on old familiar conversations that have been given to us as the only ones that are ‘good’ ones, when we feel attachment to the outcome, that we have to do it right.
Parenthood is a great one to trip us up and to steer us away from change. We so want to do parenting right, we so dare not to trust ourselves, so we rather revert back to the ones that have been presented to us as ‘good for the child’ than daring to use our own discernment.
Robb, daring to trust your gut when it comes to your children’s upbringing is courageous beyond belief, nobody tells us that . . . but it is. Daring to find your own path without knowing the outcome and daring to take what comes when it comes is as courageous as going into the wilderness.
It means having your son come home with studs in his lip and not knowing what to say!
Yes, daring to say, “I do not know and I sit with it” is courage and an enormous present to your son. You do not lie, you do not present him with stupid conventional conversations that you and I know are b*s*t.
You have proven to your son he can trust you. THAT is what a different conversation can result in, it has for Peggy, it has for me, it will for you.
Robb, that is living like a hero, like a warrior and your son will see you, not an American clone.
To sponsor you, here is a big hug and lots of love, Wilma xox
Tena koe Wilma,
Kia ora. Your words bring strength.
Aroha,
Robb
Dear Robb and Wilma, I am so deeply moved by Robb’s brave baring of soul here; the honesty is just sooooo beautiful. And the insights are profound. And your response Wilma is equally as stunning. I am so so glad that you both have connected. You both have a great depth of honesty and sincerity that keeps me grounded, and to find it online is even more refreshing and needed. Love to you both, Robin
Robin Easton´s last blog ..Share Your Legacy?
Robin, I love your encouragement, we need it.
How brave you were to embrace a radical change in your thinking and behavior. And I do love the way you think. What we say is what we get, either abundance or lack. Thank you for a truly inspiring and uplifting post. You have shared such an important truth today. It is awesome you are sharing it with the world! Continue to be blessed.
Erin´s last blog ..Reconcile
Hi Erin, I had a lot of help to embrace these new conversations and I am grateful for that. I have read books, done courses but it is in daily life that these conversations need to be kept alive.
It is in the daily do-ing, in the daily living and the daily appreciative conversation that I am to co-create God’s creation that change happens and yes I am blessed, I am continued to be blessed and thank you Erin. Wilma xox
Thanks for this Wilma — I’ve definitely noticed in myself as well a tendency to glorify the suffering I go through in doing a project, and when I remember that I’m actually trying to improve my life and others’ lives, rather than be a really good martyr, there’s a sudden increase in my energy level.
Oh Chris, to interrupt these unserving conversations can become quite fun.
It is like you are watching your own, home made, Faulty Towers show, isn’t it?
It baffles me that we have tolerated these unproductive conversations for so long.
Children are constantly pointing out the ludicrousy of what we are saying and doing and yet we cannot wait to ‘correct’ their thinking and have them parrot our conversations.
And indeed I noticed too how my mood changes and how my energy levels change with the change in conversation.
Do we need more encouragement than that and is this not a wonderful built-in gauge to go by to know if we are having an useful conversation or not?
WOW!!! I just read the previous post on “context” and now this one. Whoa!! Your honesty and Ann-Marie’s honesty is just sooooooooooo life-giving. Yeah! Yeah! YEAH!! I LOVE this pace. I love YOU!!!
Oh I come home here. So many thoughts and feelings. What a life you have lived. So much adventure even in what appears not to be adventure. As I read this I was touched and related parts of it to certain times of my life, where I stayed around people who dragged me down with limited thinking, with negative context. I have always tended to an eternal optimist, believing that all things are possible. Well, at least for a very long time now. But there were times when I was young that I let others influence me and no matter how hard I tried to stay upbeat I felt beaten upon and dragged down. So in staying in that situation I in essence dragged myself down…hoping things would change without me having to leave, or in essence make “changes” in my own life.
Today I question EVERYTHIHNG. LOL!!
“Where have I fallen asleep at the wheel? Where am I flying on auto-pilot? Where am I putting a lid on my thinking? What have I accepted as truth?” And I rip away the lids and burst free over and over and over. I remove lids on age, lids on death, lids on money, lids on “why I can’t do such and such”, lids on how much time I have, lids on what I am told by the media is happening in the world, as opposed to what REALLY might be happening in the world, lids on almost everything I think and do. I strive to live WITHOUT any set context. I know this may sound bizarre to live without context, but maaaaan, the freedom I feel and the possibilities that fall into my lap and the miracles that happen and the power that rushes through my being is unlimited.
I think the biggest intent in my life is to seek out “lids” and lift them so as to see the infinite sky beyond. It doesn’t mean I always have the answer; it only means that I am open to infinite possibilities, open to all of LIFE! I am learning that in trusting and exploring the possibilities, the answers present themselves…and even if they don’t…I am FREE! But so far I’ve never been left stranded. Life LOVES us and wants to full-fill our wildest passionate dreams. It’s what Life IS. It’s what Life DOES.
I sit here with tears in my eyes, because once again you have allowed me to just be ME. You have inspired greatness in me. I am crying because I get to see me and you and Ann-Marie and John and all of Life.
Thank you for creating such an astounding space.
Sending SO much love,
Robin
Robin Easton´s last blog ..Become the Journey
ROBIN, I want to shout so loud; “YES, YOU HEAR AND SEE US TOO”, so loud like that wonderful excited loudness that Tess, the bold one can relate to.
ROBIN, you got the essence of what we are on about, YOU GOT what it means to be free.
I understand your contextlessness, you are in but not of the world, I am finally getting a glimpse of what that means.
Yes, question everything, yes pull the lid off everything.
Creating life is creating in the moment with innocent perception perceiving what is in front of you and being love in action in every moment.
It means being present to what is unfolding with knowing that you can handle anything that appears in front of you joyfully and confidently.
It means seeing opportunities while we dance through life, taking a path because we are drawn to it NOT because it is safe and on the map.
Life indeed loves us, it is meant to love us as intended by a very loving creator.
This is such a great conversation and it has been hidden by whatever context we have lived in for far too long.
You are the key, my dear Robin, you are the key to open the lids, to open the shutters in front of our windows. That is what you are doing to me, your comments, your blog, YOUR BOOK will be and your piano video was a very big key for me.
Much love to you, my image bearer and key holder, xoxox
My Dear Wilma, Just stopped in to thank you for your deep kindness and to tell you that you are with me. All that you have lived has made you who you are. One of your most hallowed gifts is the LOVE that you give so freely. Thank you for confirming that same thing in me. I too feel a great need to just love freely. Thank you for what you gave Robb Kloss here…and so many others. Thank you for what you give me SOOO strongly that I feel you right here in the room with me. You are a very rare human being, Wilma. Never EVER doubt that. You make my life and my world vastly more real. So does John and Ann-Marie. Have wonderful holiday season. I love you and am so glad you are part of my heart. Robin
Robin Easton´s last blog ..Share Your Legacy?
Awakening is about the falling away of the false and this happens when we stop clinging to particular points of view. It can be a little scary because there is nothing to hold on to. And friends and life change drastically–as you say, the context changes.
It’s wonderful that you are open!
k
Kaushik´s last blog ..How to mend a broken heart
Kaushik, yes we have clung too long to a false truth, to a false sense of security only to find ourselves imprisoned, fearful and incapable of creating.
The cage door is finally open, let’s fly and yes that is scary AND exhilarating AND exciting.
We no longer need Walt Disney, we can create our own real wonderful rides. How is that?
And yes, you too are definitely changing the conversation and that is so good.
Thanks for that, Kaushik.
Wilma, this is oh so true, and I am realizing it more and more each day. In fact, just yesterday I had a big awareness about this. A conversation with a dear mentoring friend pointed out that I may be mixing up my old life (24 years of toxic marriage) with my new life (9 years, wonderful man) as issues arise. Are they really about HIM or about me and my patterning. Just read about Pema Chodron’s new book on breaking old habits and I am going to buy it and sink into it, because some of these old ways of operating ARE really hard to disconnect from. We are so habituated, aren’t we, on so many levels–just hardwired, in some areas. I appreciate your post here. It really felt synchronisitic…and helpful!
Jan, your comment gave me goose pimples. What an insight to realize that we are so hard wired by our past or old beliefs, that we can even destruct a great present relationship if we are not careful.
The goose pimples come from being soooo grateful that you and I have seen it in time.
Yes we do not have to repeat our mistakes coming from ignorance.
Yes we are able to change the conversations so we CAN create a great relationship that sooo adds to our quality of life AND will add to a change in the world eventually.
Also what a showcase are we developing for our own children.
Like Robb, we need to live a different conversation so our children can finally have a great one too.
THAT too gives me goose pimples.
Jan, we all, this all contributes to change, we can do life differently and that is making me so grateful.
Lots of love to you, Wilma
Wow, reading this post could not have come at a better time for me. You’ve made me realize that there are people in my life who I keep at arm’s length for this very reason. They see what’s not possible. Others in my life fuel my dreams and make me believe not only in myself, but in the limitlessness of the Universe’s abundance. I love talking to those people. They remind me that it’s only ever ME that gets in the way of my fondest dreams coming true.
I’m so grateful for your words, Wilma, and find this post to be perfectly suited to the energy I now find myself in. With holidays approaching and families to be seen, I may need to refer back to this post a few times to maintain my optimism!
Love and joy to you!
Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s last blog ..7 Steps for Climbing the Staircase to Joy
Oh Megan, isn’t it great to finally allow yourself to observe and say that that context is not helpful. For such a long time I felt bad about feeling down in other people’s company. I felt I was judging and not trying and loving enough. Man, did I try and love my poor ex husband, only to have us suck each other into a negative conversation.
Now no longer being ignorant about what is happening, I can accept that some people and their conversation are just not good for me.
I can now see that that is where they are at and I can choose to let them be.
What a freedom that gave me and what an energy shift was created.
So go for conversations that indeed allow YOU to dream and create a life you were meant to create, a joyful and abundant one and interrupt the conversations that are not.
You so deserve becoming YOU, dear Megan, you so deserve it, Wilma xox
WOW, with a super-capital W !!! Talk about an amazing transformation of a person. I’ve known plenty of negatively-thinking folks in my day but seldom have heard about any of them actually making as big a shift as you have, Wilma.
I wish I could be make my husband work less and have and enjoy more. I hope he will read this post too!
Jannie Funster´s last blog ..Kelp Bikinis & Squirrels With Waivers?!?
Hi Jannie, thanks for really listening to this conversation we are having here, it sure is life changing. Words are so powerful and we are so careless with them.
We should be more careful with words than with money, yet we just throw our words around as it they do not matter.
Observing what daily conversations you are having is so rewarding and here you are having a conversation about a very important thing for your husband.
Is there any chance that you can start having abundant conversations about possibilities and solutions that would get your husband’s interest in your idea?
Could you check your conversations and see if they do instill a confidence in your husband AND you, that you could sponsor him to work less?
After all it were John’s daily conversations and his congruent daily actions that made me pay attention to his suggestion.
You will never know until you try, so go Jannie go, or maybe let bunny have a go
Lots of love to you for holding that conversation about your husband, now make it a powerful one full of possibilities and I would love it if you kept us posted so we can sponsor you. You have already many friends here commenting
Love Wilma
Oh my, Wilma. What should I say? It comes out of my own heart. It really, truly does make a difference. I’m going to have to read this post a few times. Your thoughts here are very true.
Lisa´s last blog ..Life’s Highways
Hi Lisa, all this has been an interesting discovery for me too and it sure has made a difference. I was pleased that I too took my time to really get this whole conversation concept. Sometimes it is good not to have words and just feel a message, so I am excited that you are obviously feeling what I am saying here.
Hi Wilma and Anne-Marie .. yes I fortunately realised that we could look at life with our glass half-full, rather than half-empty, and talk to others about their interests, not my life – thank goodness for that change. The next year will bring about the rest of the change – engaging with positive people, people who are interested beyond themselves, people who amuse, people who aren’t selfish etc etc ..
I had that with my uncle, and with my mother – thank goodness for their support – life is tricky enough at the best of times .. life is turning round – the juggernaut or container ship is realigning itself fortunately … I keep on – and that will encourage that change.
Thanks – Hilary Melton-Butcher
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Hilary´s last blog ..Pantomime – Lord of Misrule – Grand Dame …