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Ann-Marie on Being the change
Change starts within first
Wilma’s post A whole new world, a whole new community, certainly got a reaction from you this week.
The post is a realization that change must begin at grass roots level, within us and in our immediate world.
Wilma explained why we have been set up, from an early age to fail at it and why we need to be vigilant with ourselves, be patient, not be deterred by the world’s problems and remain focused.
Once we declare our possibility for change, our context plays a huge role.
To keep possibility continuously alive in conversations, to learn the skills to connect with people right in front of us, to have sponsorship and take actions is not an easy feat, not at all.
With that said, it does amount to fundamental change in the end.
Sara noticed that “the first step (towards change) is becoming aware as individuals”
Some of you shared that you are ‘change agents’ and in action, making it happen.
Joy’s take on it was “I’ve always been the one to reach out and be “unique, authentic, and honest” I lead with my heart”.
Nadia followed on with “I do seriously feel love for everyone who crosses my path. When I go out into the world, I just send out love”
Ladies, your comments lead me to ask this question…
How do you maintain being change when you find your environment not being in agreement with you or there being no wish for change? Do share your answers with us, thanks.
On the other hand lots of us like Patty, Angelia and Peggy have only seen glimpses of that change and are only too aware of the road ahead.
Patty shared “I can look back at the past and see all those sparks of creativity and wholeness, in myself and others. I do remember times when my uniqueness, authenticity, and choice was validated”.
It begins with a daily conversation, a daily declaration of what can I do today in my tasks, my roles, my thoughts, and my heart to be the change I wish to see. Only when we have an unstoppable determination to have life be different, only then will it show up.
I think that most of us missed this point in Wilma’s post and started out with sharing thoughts on how to cause change in the world at large, which is an age old conversation that keeps going nowhere because it is up against the dominance of the present Status Quo thinking.
However Robin in her comment last week did a remarkable job of saying what community actually is. She worded it so beautifully…
But it’s something deeper than that for me.
For me community is something I do in a hundred little ways all day long, with my husband, my friends, the world I move through, with people at the bank, the store, on the road…Everywhere I go I see people screaming out for love and help and a kind word, a smile, a hug. And it takes so little to give SO much.I reach out the way I do because I live in a world full of people starved for love, starved for compassion and understanding, starved for a single act of kindness, a world full of people hanging on by a single thread. I do it because I live in a world filled with suffering, wars, murders, prisons, child abuse, homeless, hungry. I do it because I am compelled to LIVE the change I want to see in the world. I do it because maybe it is what I was born to do. I do it because most days it’s all I know how to do. I am not good with speaking or writing concepts and telling people how to live. I can share my own experiences but beyond that… One day I asked myself, what do I have to offer the world? Honestly? The only thing I could come up with was: I could love people. I do know how to love. Oddly, that day I found great peace. Loving was enough for me.
This kind of love for humanity touches us all and wakes us up to possibility and change, fundamental change.
Megan also wrote a wonderful on the button comment. In her comment she really got what Wilma was on about when it comes to community…
You’ve made such a compelling case that as children, we are raised (mostly) in a way that squashes our inner flame – the authenticity that God saw fit to infuse us with. What an interesting conundrum we’re faced with as human beings: deep within us is the recognition that we’re special and that we were born complete. Yet on the surface, surrounding everything we do, think & say is evidence to the contrary.
I suppose that’s why the spiritual awakening process is necessary. We’re born unique and perfect, but quickly fall into the collective coma that hides that knowledge from us. Then, somewhere along our path, we reawaken to it and spend the rest of our lives trying to embrace our authenticity and make it work in a world that hasn’t collectively woken up yet. Not easy! Yet so very worthwhile. And the more we kindred spirits seek each other out and connect, the brighter and more attractive our light — our one-of-a-kind, come-as-you-are light – will shine.
Thank you for allowing so many of us to connect on your site. When we do, in a way it’s like coming home to ourselves.
Until we can achieve what Robin and Megan have said and truly connect, until this is a constant in our lives then I suggest we are not do-ing community and we cannot create change in the world.
We need to pay attention to our thoughts, our conversations and our context.
Heck we need to do more than that we need a whole new frame of reference for them; we need guidance on HOW to do life differently.
We need encouragement and support. We need to stay alert as there is so much to pull us back. And we need to surround ourselves with people who will sponsor us, our possibility and what it is that we are setting out to create in this world.
Through this blog and others we are finding a way to escape the old ways, which we all know starts with ourselves and changing our context.
And ‘Context’ is the next topic we will tackle, together.
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27 Comments to “Ann-Marie on Being the change”
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Hi Wilma and Ann-Marie,
The dialoging here is just wonderful! I love how you present topics that we all can chew on, each of us responding in our own ways – it enriches all of us, so thank you both!
Your question – how do you maintain being change when you find your environment not being in agreement with you or there being no wish for change? I’ll choose a line from “Field of Dreams” to answer that – “Build it – and they will come.”
When I truly believe in what I am doing, and know it is for the common good or serving many, I’m not going to let some grumbling stop me. There was a poster, or t-shirt, with a saying “Do something – lead, follow or get the hell out of my way!” I’m not THAT pushy, but really, Wilma, there will always be resistance. I send those people love and go on my way. Can’t pay attention to the nay-sayers.
Hey there SuZen,
When our desire for change and our belief in our self is rock solid we can plough through life and create big things within and without, it’s like we are on a mission from God.
Whom we constantly share our desires and beliefs with, our daily conversations and the thoughts we pay attention to also play a huge part in it. Otherwise we can be stopped dead in our tracks, we become reactive, not creative and it shows up in the actions we take.
There are few people that I have met in my life whom are ”unstoppable” in every way. Wilma’s partner, John is one of them. I’m discovering what an enormous effort it takes to play at this level, to be the change.
I encourage you to be THAT pushy coming from love … this is YOUR life, YOUR Field of Dreams. x x x
Hey SuZen, I do relate when you say this;
You have proven that with your project yellow ribbon.
I too believe that you can do courageous things and that you can deal with the nay sayers when you are on a mission like that.
However there must have been plenty of times when that too became too much and you felt the pressure to stay who you wanted to be, because of that resistance.
I so loved Tess’ example in traffic, in daily life most of us are not peaceful and loving all the time especially when we are tired or worried or trying to get somewhere.
It is in those moments when in daily life we get challenged that we might revert back to our old style.
And the project will not suffer from those moments of lapses and it shows we are not always consistent. Gandhi was fighting that as well, he so watched what he did in daily life and still he did get his big project done.
Hi Ann-Marie and Wilma – More good food for thought. I don’t have the answers, although I like what SuZen says above. And I just put up a post that included the famous Rilke quote, “…live the questions.” Perhaps asking myself, with every deep question I encounter, how can I live this rather than answer it? For me personally, it seems to be about being rather than becoming right now.
Patty – Why Not Start Now?´s last blog ..Big Questions
Hello Patty
How can I live this? What a valuable way to address your questions.
Life IS about being, my friend. It is Be-ing in every moment of every day. It is stopping to observe who that is. Change is accessible in every second that passes.
Am I being love in action? Am I being a contribution? Am I being my purpose?
Who we are being can have life be truly extraordinary for us every single day.
And you really captured that Patty with your post today when you said this about dreams “They’re more about being than becoming: being creative every day, being in community with others, being in nature, being in a conscious relationship with my husband. It’s a daily vision rather than a big vision“.
This is the stuff that change is made of.
Big hugs to you.
When I was learning Spanish I walked into a chain restaurant in Denver where the staff was very tired and unfriendly. When I tried to order my food in broken Spanish a light went on and the world opened up bringing forth the entire staff from behind the counter and in the kitchen to come out and share in the humor of my poor attempt to speak their language.
The friendliness and smiles that emerged gave me the chills and I decided from then on to always try and communicate and bring on the laughter whenever I could.
I have to admit that although I live by the philosophy of live and love I am often frustrated and drained by my three boys and sometimes feel like going inward. It is on days like these where I challenge myself knowing that if I can just smile at one person, even if I don’t feel like it, I am creating a completely different experience for both of us.
It is a very rewarding challenge to react completely differently then I feel and watch how the sun seems to come out and warm the world up, even if for a second.
Jillian´s last blog ..Taken Down by Thanksgiving
Hello Jillian
You are so right, with conscious effort on our part we can create a difference for ourselves and others as we go about our day. Your story here is testament to that.
To live the change we see, consistency plays a part. Robin does it all day, every day. So on the days where you ‘don’t feel like it’ that is when the rubber hits the road and you get to choose whether you show up over and over again as ‘live and love’ or not. I applaud that you don’t go inward. Looks like what you are creating in life brings you into being. As you said a smile can have a massive impact and ‘create a completely different experience’.
This is connecting, building intimacy and creating community.
Thank you Jillian for sharing with us.
Hi Ann Marie,
My sneaky ego catches me off guard and that’s when I fail to be the change. I have to keep constant vigilence or it would happen a lot more often. I don’t want to be the change, that was then today I’m declaring “I am the change.” Now that ought to send my ego flying at least for a little while!
Tess The Bold Life´s last blog ..Can 2010 Be Better Than 2009?
Aha… that old chestnut, the EGO.
You’re right there Tess, you got to keep an eye out for that one. It can totally throw us off course, even the seasoned change agents like yourself. That is why sponsorship is so important. So when you declare “I am the change’, we listen to you as that, and only that.
Much love to you
Hi Tess, another cracker sentence, I love what you say here;
I am sure our heart is in the right place and yet what we have to unlearn in bad habits is massive AND it is so good to become aware of that.
I loved your comment on the previous post, you got it in one and that is why I think you might get your chance yet to walk on water
It is about observing, noticing, forgiving, being gentle on yourself AND correcting with the help of some good friends YOU have chosen for this purpose. That is what works a treat for Ann-Marie and me.
Ann-Marie — One of the things I love most about this site is that I enjoy reading the comments almost as much as the posts. Don’t take me wrong, the posts really make me think and I love that, but I also love the fact that no one on your site ever leaves a three word comment:~)
I think this is because your posts and Wilma’s always generate new ways of thinking about something and people want to share their perspectives. It’s like a twist on the story of the elephant and the blind men. You provide the “elephant” and we all touch it, but instead of declaring the elephant is only one part, we share our knowledge about what we’ve learned and thereby make the elephant more than it’s parts:~)
Sara´s last blog ..Sitting Empty on the Beach
Hey Sara
It makes my heart sing to hear you say that you love reading the comments.
This is a conversation for everyone to take part in, to question each other, to work things through together, to talk and share our thoughts so that each of us comes away with something really useful that we can use in our everyday lives. And it is in the comments that we get to the real ‘nitty gritty’ of the situation.
I encourage you and everyone else to comment back directly to other comments, to contribute directly. Go for it.
This blog is about sponsorship, intimacy and developing skills so we can all live in our greatness. And there’s many more ‘elephants’ to encounter my friend.
Hi Ann-Marie and Wilma,
You asked the question about maintaing change when faced with non-agreement or no wish for change. In my experience, many people are reluctant to change but that does not stop me. There are a lot of lonely and miserable people out there. There is a lot of pain and suffering. I have no desire to be a part of that misery and so I try to spread love where ever I go. Some days it is hard when people look at you as a freak but so what. That is their problem and not mine. Life is too short to waste on being scared or inauthenctic. You have to speak your truth and if people spit on you, who cares.
Being popular or being liked does not mean you are right. I learned that when I was a kid and that gave me freedom to speak my truth. When you are secure in who you are then you are able to spread love. I don’t buy into the idea that you have to adjust your views so that people like you. If someone likes you because you have to lie about who you are, then that person is not worth having in your life.
I think as women we are taught not to rock the boat and I personally think why not rock the boat? I am not saying that you rock the boat for no reason. You have to have a legit reason to rock the boat. So if there is a valid reason to rock the boat, then rock it, baby! People who changed the world did not do so by playing it safe.
Nadia – Happy Lotus´s last blog ..When in Doubt: To Be Like John or Jesus? Part One
Hi Nadia
Being at peace with ones self; being in integrity and doing authenticity is a big step to being the change. And following our true purpose usually sets us on a path that goes against the Status Quo.
I agree, however we can come up against it at every turn, others do their darnedest to pull us back and squash us. It takes some amount of courage, focus, strength and determination to stay on our chosen path. Ensuring that we are sponsored by people who are committed to us fulfilling our purpose in life is so important. Only then can we keep rocking the boat without drowning! Hugs to you.
Fall down and stand back up. That is what I do, whether it’s being met with resistance (that eventually caves), or letting myself grow small in the world of living change, or just being discouraged. I stand back up, and keep going. Maybe, with a limp or a missing shoe, but onward I travel in hopes that as long as I keep going. I CAN be that change sustained, that I will make a difference, or at least learn how to.
Ladies, your posts and comments, always encouraging, and supporting. Thank you for making me think and DO.
Angelia Sims´s last blog ..Timeless Affection
Hello Angelia
Oh your comment is a wonderful and up front account of our daily reality in relation to doing and being change. Fall back, stand up, keep going. We’re with you every step of the way.
We’re all in this together x
On being the change…
After realizing how toxic my first marriage was, I kept attracting that *same* type of man into my life until I decided to become the person I wanted to be with for the rest of my life.
No joke…six weeks later the love of my life found me again. He proposed two months later and we got married three months after that. We celebrated out third anniversary in September.
Something I learned in a personal development seminar a few years ago – when we stretch and grow as people, those around us either stretch and grow with us or leave. Today, I am surrounded by people who want to stretch and grow, people who aren’t afraid to be challenged or encouraged to be themselves and shine brightly.
Thank you for continuing to make us all stretch and grow!
Peggy´s last blog ..Finding the Light
Hey Peggy
Awesome. Once we declare who we are; the person we choose to be, then surrounding ourselves with like minded others is a great move, one that will set us on the path to shining brightly.
Wilma’s next post speaks directly to this, for change to happen our conversations must change and the people we have them with, they mostly change too.
Peggy you rock … stretch and grow, stretch and grow girl x
Dear Ann Marie & Wilma,
You get so much back, while giving from the heart…whether we are giving our love, our time or anything else…it does come back 10 folds 
The universe works in mysterious ways.
I just read the community post..am so sorry I couldnt be here earlier to share my two cents..but am here now
I So love the idea of community…for me personally community is all who i meet and connect with. Everyone…in the real world and the online world.
IN this world as of now, I have seen so much negativity..so much anger, frustration…cause of so many things. Not just any one thing…too many things. People are not happy. Community and a good one at that, is like a safe warm loving blanket. It comforts you and makes you feel like you belong…you matter, your thoughts matter.
That was the reason I started the facebook community page for my blog. Its just my little online haven where I and hopefully all the others who join can come over and share their thoughts and feel like a part of something. Feel love happiness and positivity do exist in this world….
As for Ann maries question on being the change and how i do things differently…hmmm….ok here goes..-
-I offer myself and my love to all I meet..and think of everyone as part of my community..everyone. Cause indeed in the spiritual sense we are all ONE.
I help in anyway i can …seriously…sometimes my hubby will say…”dont give so much of yourself, you’ll get tired.” And I respond by saying..”but i feel more and more energized”. Amazing isnt it
Its not always easy to be good, not cause I cant…but cause of the resistance from others…the ones who still feel their individual being is the most important thing in the world. People forget that everything we do is connected somehow to something else…..that in itself should be reason enough to acknowledge each other and love each other. These people think we are stupid or naive to offer so much ourself to the world.
Being part of a community feels great…just as great as I feel every time i come here and read You lovely ladies words
Love you gals for always taking the time to offer such solid thoughts…
Hugs to you both
p.s. sorry this comment is so long…i just couldnt stop pounding at the keyboard…;)
Zeenat{Positive Provocations}´s last blog ..RAOKA:Beauty-The Beautiful Smile Experiment
Dear Zeenat
There is no need to ever apologize for writing a long comment. You have something to say so you go for it and take as much space as you need. Your contribution is valuable to us all.
Appreciate your take on community. It is a massive resource that we can use to bring about self change. Your description of community as a ’safe warm loving blanket’ is beautiful. And I agree with you, when our purpose in life is bigger than our preoccupations, incredible things do happen and the universe works with us along the way.
Even in the face of resistance you Zeenat are love in action. To have the ability to connect with another person at the level of oneness is an extraordinary experience. Shine Zeenat shine and ensure that you are looking after yourself, ensure that your basecamp is well maintained so that it remains strong.
Love to you
When I read Robin’s quote in your post, I stopped reading for a moment, copied what she said into an email, and sent it to a friend. I essentially told him that her words could have been my words. Often I feel the same way in that I don’t know what my talents are or why I incarnated this time around. Sometimes I feel like I lack purpose, but in reading Robin’s statement, I was relieved. LOVE! What greater purpose could there be? And we can achieve love in countless ways. I really loved reading all of this today – including the great comments (Sara also gave voice to my thoughts – so a big thank you to her!).
I connected with Tess’s comment about ego getting in the way of being the change I wish to see in the world sometimes. I let myself get caught up in judgments, assumptions, expectations and other conditions to loving myself and others fully and completely. But it’s a process I’m learning to work through. Every day and each new experience brings me a little bit further along my path of living love all of the time.
I look forward to the next post about context.
Much love to you and Wilma!
Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s last blog ..7 Steps for Climbing the Staircase to Joy
Hello there Megan.
Isn’t it such a joy to resonate with the words of others, to finally have a way to describe what is going on for you. That is the power of this conversation.
Love is such valuable purpose to have in life, especially in this world that is starved of it. And as you say we can express it in so many ways.
So Megan keep being love, you are doing a great job of it.
Much love to you too!
Dear Ann-Marie, I know this post has been up for about two weeks and I’ve read it 3 times. LOL!! But I’ve wanted a long stretch of time to sink into this post and the two after it.
First of all, I am soooooo deeply touched that you posted my comment here. To be seen by two such remarkable souls as you and Wilma is changing my life. So many times, I feel how I will have to meet you both one day “in the flesh” so to speak.
As I was reading this post for the third time I had a new thought that had not occurred to me in my previous readings. It may not even really relate to this post, but it is the “AH HA!” thought that came to mind so strongly.
In my mind’s eye I saw several of the women I know in my offline life and they are fantastic women, kind, wise and so much more….and YET, each one of them moves into the world with a subtle (or maybe not so subtle) energy of “helplessness”, but it runs deeper. They move into the world unconsciously “waiting” for the world to “affect” THEM, as opposed to being totally empowered and moving into the world with the INTENT to affect the WORLD and their community.
I realize that women the world over are taught from the get go to be helpless, meek, weak, submissive and more, but I really feel like it is the time for women to come into their full power…WHATEVER that is, and to almost thrust that power (their gifts) upon the world. I say THRUST because it may at first seem like that is what we are doing. As women it is foreign to us to take the initiative, to realize that we have GREAT…I repeat, GREAT….power. We have as much power as anyone or anything “out there”, much power as we want.
But it’s even more than that. We ARE power. We are a force that the planet is in desperate need of. We can no longer afford to be meek. We’ve lived in a patriarch forever and now (today on the planet), as women it’s not about “can we make a difference”. It’s about “We ARE the difference”. The planet, children, other women, elders, ….and yes, especially men are in great need of feminine energy. The patriarch has gone on SO LONG that most men have forgotten that they are human beings with gentle sides, with tears, with vulnerabilities, with beauty and softness. I have had a few really good men tell me that they are only beginning to awaken because they are listening to women. In turn women must also remember that we are equal to ANYTHING on the planet. There is no hierarchy. It’s a illusion that only manifest when believed in.
I know I got off track there, but the point being that community, change, healing and more must now come from women. Women can no longer move into the world waiting for the world to “affect” them. As woman we must be more brave, more bold, more powerful than we have ever been. We must be who we really ARE. And if we move into the world expecting our communities to confirm who we are and the boldness we are exerting, it may not happen. So we must also be prepared to TOTALLY trust our instincts, spontaneity and heart impulses and act on them blindly and independently if needed. When we do this we create community everywhere we go. We set an example for other women, our eager to learn children, and men with open hearts.
I love you for inspiring me to be who I really am. I go away from these pages with a bold strong heart. I KNOW who I am. I also feel a freedom here to share my thoughts and feelings uncensored. I don’t review them to see if they are “right” or “good enough” or anything else. I just let my heart speak, and any limiting thoughts fade to nothing.
Love,
Robin
Please forgive the length of this.
Robin Easton´s last blog ..Become the Journey
Robin, you are so on to it and your comments are of such value. As I keep saying, you are giving us such a powerful image to live into, images most of us have been looking for, for so long.
I simply love what you are saying here; Women move into the world unconsciously “waiting” for the world to “affect” THEM, as opposed to being totally empowered and moving into the world with the INTENT to affect the WORLD and their community.
We indeed need to intent, we need to dare to have different conversations of empowerment, about who we are being.
We need to embrace our responsibility to become our greatness, boldly and loudly.
Yes loudly and there is no conversation that we will give the power to stop us from being loud.
With loud I mean steadfast, clear even if we cannot yet fully articulate what it is we desire, daring, authentic and making it clear we want to be heard.
Oh Robin, you are a sirene, you so say in this wonderful bold way what we are on about. We need the overview, this bigger bolder vision you are adding here so compliments what Ann-Marie and I and Women Like Me are on about.
You are a Women Like Me, we all are Women Like Me, we are about change and how to go about it and we need to sponsor each other in any way we can. AND you my dearest Robin do that so beautifully, I am in awe and I so love you for your bold stand.
And we will meet, I am sure of that.
Robin, I am in awe at your response. It is as if you have delved deep into our hearts and pulled out our deepest desires. This is the reason Wilma, John and myself do what we do. “Women ARE the difference” and I am so overwhelmed right now at the way you listen to us, the way you hear what our hearts say, what our purpose is with WomenLikeMe and the ultimate vision for community.
You are a beacon of light my friend, paving the way forward for a new world to emerge. And I see your steadfast courage “So we must also be prepared to TOTALLY trust our instincts, spontaneity and heart impulses and act on them blindly and independently if needed”
This has set my heart alight, reading what you have written here Robin. I firmly believe that this will happen. The women who contribute here and on other blogs are up for this task, as are the men. I feel rejoiceful and blessed that you are with us on this journey
And I LOVE that you let your heart your heart speak freely here. Fantastic
Much Love to you
PS: I know….LOL!!!
I just wanted to add that there are MANY amazing men out there that thrive on the support and boldness of strong unique woman. They are men who also strive to bring back the feminine on the planet and within their own being, and within their communities. I know men like this. So when we women move into the world affecting change we in turn support these brave men. Men who are rocking the boat amongst their peers simply by letting themselves cry, hug, be sensitive, gentle and more. Men who are questioning social conditioning, men who are reaching out to help women and children and the planet. I have the DEEPEST respect for these men. They move me to tears.
Robin Easton´s last blog ..Become the Journey
Hear, hear, the feminine empowerment is sure to benefit eveybody.
This is no longer about OVERpowering, this is to empower the feminine in everybody, the creative, birthing power in everyone of us.
It is not about them and us, it is about connecting AND connecting with the feminine energy in the world and that too makes me so excited my friend.