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A whole new world, a whole new community.
My sister's grandchildren. May they keep being the change we seek.
Be the change you want to see.
So what is stopping us from ending the gruesome wars, world hunger and pollution?
Marianne Williamson keeps saying we are not trying hard enough to be the change that we seek.
I agree and I would like to add that we actually haven’t a clue how to be the change that we want to see and that we are not looking hard enough either.
Deep in my heart I know that I am extremely ineffective to create the change that I seek.
Because to create it I need to learn a very basic life skill and that is to get on with people in my own little world in a way that eliminates hunger, pollutions and fights in my own world.
We are the problem; is my own little world not a reflection of the bigger world?
I fight, I too am hungry for love and attention and we all pollute each others mental state.
To make my point let me tell you about my training and experience with people.
I am told that I am unique and I can create whatever I want.
Well, from a young age and into adulthood, I never experienced any of that uniqueness.
I wanted to stay home and be taught by my mother whom I trusted and knew.
Instead I was taken to a frightening institution called school that was filled with a whole lot of children who looked hostile and they scared the hell out of me.
I was told not to be unfriendly and work alongside a classmate whom I did not like as she was mean to me behind the teacher’s back.
And when I drew something that I liked, I was told it was wrong as it did not fit the brief.
Yes I WAS unique, but not for long.
Yes I WAS authentic and honest, but not for long.
Yes I HAD a choice of whom I could hang out with, but not for long.
My uniqueness, authenticity and honesty had no chance of survival.
The rot set in very quickly.
Let’s fast forward a few years.
With having learned to look out for number one, having been molded into a one size fits all; I took a self development course.
Again I am told that I am unique, special and should strive for authenticity and passion.
Is that so?
I went to a job interview.
There I was asked dumb questions that everybody in their right mind knows I cannot answer truthfully if I want to get the job.
I also know that I cannot ask honest questions either if I want to be employed.
I cannot authentically ask to meet my colleagues to find out if I actually could work with them.
I cannot have an honest conversation with the manager to find out how he values his staff.
What I think, feel and want is of no importance, it is all about them.
How often have I been considered as equal, unique, special and powerful when in a job interview?
How often is an interview a pleasant experience with the intention to make everybody fly?
Who am I kidding?
Then when I started the job, did I meet great people all eager to share, teach and grow together or did I enter a war zone full of competitors, adversaries and withholders of intellectual property?
While I might not live in a war torn country, I have not experienced much peace either, have I?
Although I might not be hungry for food, I am starving for love and generous sharing, aren’t I?
As much as I would love to stop the mental pollution of deceit, false promises and denial, I am too scared to do transparency, authenticity and in-integrity behavior on my own.
My only solace was that after my work day I could go home, home sweet home, to where things were good with the person I chose to live with.
Yeah right!
My interview and induction period with the person I lived with was not that crash hot either.
As a result I did not choose the right person and I didn’t powerfully set up our playing together either.
There was plenty of evidence of that.
At home I used to fight over the dishes, whose turn it was to cook and our not keeping our promises.
And after the dust had settled, I was hungry to get my dose of attention to share how once again my boss made stupid decisions that were going to make my life hard. But as I was living with a hungry soul who wanted to talk about the stupid people in his life, after fighting about the dishes we started fighting for attention.
In the end all we could do was turn on the television and direct our attention to something else than ourselves and thus
everyone ended up going to bed starving; starving for love and attention.
I think I’ve said enough to show how dysfunctional we all really are.
We have no basic skills to live peacefully, even with the ones close to us and the ones we interact daily with.
In my experience we are all set up to become unreliable, self absorbed and difficult to work with, if we want to or not.
It is no wonder that for a long time I preferred looking out for number one, hiding my inner self and going it alone as much as I could, while denying I was starving and living in a mentally toxic, polluted war zone.
If you still wonder; THAT is what is stopping us from ending the gruesome wars, world hunger and pollution.
But I am waking up and hearing what WomenLikeMe on Community says;
“It is a cruel myth to think that living independently is a viable option and that without giving that up we can change the world.”
However at this moment it is also cruel to even suggest that we can let go of our independence.
We could, but not until we work really hard at grass roots level to change how we relate to people in our immediate world.
We could, but not until we work really hard to become the change we want to see.
We could and we can!
To end war, starvation and pollution on a world scale, I am hell bent to end the starvation for love and attention in our own small world by learning to be love-in-action and to create intimacy with my listening with whomever is in front of me.
I will clear up the mental pollution and end the war in my own little world by my commitment to learn and practice integrity, shared understanding and I so desire other Women Like Me to join me to support each other to become the change we all want to see.
However to be the change we want to see, we need to see the possibility of community, we need to have an image of what community can stand for so we can have an idea of what the change is that we ultimately aim for.
For that reason I want to share the image that Robin Easton shared in her comment about community;
But it’s something deeper than that for me.
For me community is something I do in a hundred little ways all day long, with my husband, my friends, the world I move through, with people at the bank, the store, on the road…Everywhere I go I see people screaming out for love and help and a kind word, a smile, a hug. And it takes so little to give SO much.
I reach out the way I do because I live in a world full of people starved for love, starved for compassion and understanding, starved for a single act of kindness, a world full of people hanging on by a single thread. I do it because I live in a world filled with suffering, wars, murders, prisons, child abuse, homeless, hungry. I do it because I am compelled to LIVE the change I want to see in the world. I do it because maybe it is what I was born to do. I do it because most days it’s all I know how to do. I am not good with speaking or writing concepts and telling people how to live. I can share my own experiences but beyond that… One day I asked myself, what do I have to offer the world? Honestly? The only thing I could come up with was: I could love people. I do know how to love. Oddly, that day I found great peace. Loving was enough for me.”
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41 Comments to “A whole new world, a whole new community.”
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Wilma you’ve spent weeks thinking, processing and figuring out what this word ‘community’ is all about. Here you have peeled back the layers and explained why we are failing so miserably at it. We have been set up big time, from an early age. Cloned to be independent and isolated, distant and consumed with looking after number one. The consequences are massive. Look at the result; we are in chaos, our communities are shrinking and we as individuals are deteriorating also. I see now why there is so much inner turmoil amongst us.
Gandhi’s words are so over-used that we end up paying lip service to them. We think we know what he meant, however the cold reality is that we haven’t a clue, none whatsoever. We do NOT know, we are fumbling around in the dark, getting no where. I see why the bigger issues of our planet like wars, world hunger and pollution cannot be solved with our current level of thinking. Until we choose to do it for ourselves ‘at grass roots level’ and strengthen base camp first, NOTHING will change.
I always thought that I had it sussed when it came to community; however I was just glossing over the surface. I now see it much clearer. Wilma, thank you, you have explained this in a way that makes sense to me and it gives me hope; hope for the future, hope for a world that IS possible and hope that my wee daughter, Molly will experience it. xx
The biggest aha was for me to realize how far off the game we are and that there are only a few people who are so self expressed and clear within themselves that they can be the change we all want to see.
I have been made into a bio robot and I need to accept that I have to learn baby steps to get back to my authentic self and I need to become aware of the context that wants to pull me back into the bio robot’s fold.
Oh, it has been a deep realization alright as you know and to honestly look at myself has been interesting too.
However together we can do it, it has been great to explore with you, so lets take little steps to become the huge change we want to see.
Wilma xoxo
Wilma, this quote has propelled me for years. And, I do agree. That we each have to be the peace, the joy, the love. But I think we already are! We just don’t believe it. It’s there in our essence and if we 1) affirm that we are that, 2.) set intentions to align our choices, speech, actions, etc. with our essence, we will embody that in time. It does take passion, persistence, strong belief, and more. But choice by choice we can do that. Even one small step–for example, not to gossip about others, can begin to reduce our inner toxicity. Can you imagine, if we just stopped slandering one another, what a difference in the world that would make??? I love that you are having all these realizations and that you can encourage others on to more….
Hi Jan
Yes, we are created according to a very powerful image and we could embody that once more by choice and by daily practice but what
I am seeing is that it is still very difficult even for us who know better to be consistent in our choice and becoming the change we want to see.
Don’t we all know that gossip hurts? Of course we do and do we do it?
Yes, most of us do it and even if we only want to speak with good purpose do we always be that difference?
The next post on context will explain how come our heart is in the right place and yet how come it is so difficult -if we are not careful- to consistently be the change we want to see.
Even small steps can still be hard when the whole community you live in goes the other way.
I do want to point out that we cannot underestimate how our context, the people around us influences us and want us to pull back, even when we know better.
Sure we have a choice but how free am I really to choose in the context that I am in?
Peter could choose Jesus, he knew what Jesus stood for and yet he didn’t choose him when push came to shove.
All I want to do is become aware of that, not to judge but to be aware so I might become more steadfast in my desire to change and realize that I will be alone sometimes in the current circumstances.
Gandhi also did not become the change he was overnight and it helps to not fool myself and to be gentle on myself once I really realize how hard it is to become that change in every day living.
Hi Wilma & Ann-Marie,
You’re absolutely right – most of us were not taught “community” nor did we have great experiences with it. But what happened in the past is history and we have only our present moment. I must say Hooray for the new people who are now awakening to the concept that life is NOT all about just them and they are showing up to help us out at the food pantry. People helping people is a beautiful thing!
suzen´s last blog ..Getting a Man’s Help!
Hi SuZen
Yes, we have a long, long way to go to do community in a way everybody flies.
Helping and food pantries will hopefully be words of the past as I do desire that communities will sponsor each and every one of us to have a dignified life.
I would not say that George gets help, he coordinates action to have his expedition fly.
THAT is what the ultimate community is for me, and yes that does require to go beyond preoccupation with one self.
PS. Robin wrote a beautiful comment about community on Ann-Marie’s post.
Community and people are our most precious resources and goes ultimately beyond what we know right now.
And of course we have to start somewhere, but ultimately it is going beyond helping and charity.
Community goes beyond charity, it is going towards creating with everybody sponsoring everybody.
Wilma, there really is a huge political side to this too. I wish I could remember the statistic but i was thrown for a loop… I’m making the figures up here, but it was something like 80% of greenhouse gas emissions are caused not by private households – even counting our cars – but by industry. It was a huge disparity.
And of course big business is in bed with politicians, especially via campaign financing. (Ever notice how decade after decade they talk about campaign finance reform but nothing serious ever gets done?) Big business very much includes big oil…
I wish people were protesting in the streets because they cared that much about the people who will come after us but it’s been all about money for decades…
Hi Paul.
Community in this context is about using the resources of people we have around us and to go beyond only seeing money as a resource.
Fighting and protesting is not what this is about. This is about shifting life from the inside out.
It is about becoming aware how much we have unlearned about being creative with our solutions and being creative with what is on offer that is not for sale.
It is about another currency that is not money and how that has become invisible to us.
Once we have another economy running that is making the favor bank bigger and bigger, change will happen without protest and fights.
Wilma,
I understand your point and your thought process.
Personally, I fully believe in “Be the Change You Want to See”. I have my entire life. I think we all are already the change, every moment that you “try” (whatever that encapsulates for you) is a moment of change. And that’s if you try before you are aware of the concepts of mindfulness or intention; boy if you add those, you certainly are the change and then some.
Change is scary so as a whole there are many excuses not to Be the Change. If “we haven’t a clue how to be the change” we can’t sit back comfortably and claim ignorance, because even as we sit back we are reaping the benefits of the hard work of all of those before us who had the courage to at least take a step which then instituted change.
There is a quote something like choosing to do nothing is still a choice.
I’ve had the same “programming” as you’ve experienced, but even within that I’ve always been the one to reach out and be “unique, authentic, and honest”. You can mindfully throw away a piece of trash knowing you are contributing to good, or you can choose to ignore it because you think it doesn’t make a difference; either way you are changing the landscape. Some people do not understand and that’s okay; I lead with my heart and I act to honor my beliefs and shine some necessary light. I’d like for my children to experience life the same way.
I’m glad you are examining this topic so thoroughly–thank you for sharing along the way:)
Joy´s last blog .."The Chocolate Cake Sutra" Mosaic Monday
Hi Joy.
Some of us have escaped at some level the killer aspect of wing clipping upbringings.
Like you say;
I too have always felt something was amiss and yet for the life of me I could not fully fly although on the outside I looked pretty successful and innovative.
Somehow I feel that only in these last few years something is being unleashed. I have found explanations that made sense, I have found people like here on the blog who live differently and seem to understand what I am on about.
Imagine Joy, living in a surrounding community who are all being authentic, honest and following their heart.
That thought excites me, to see you living life full on with ease and grace and causing a whole community to do the same.
Oh Joy, sailing these beautiful waters is what life is about, showing people -as you do with your mosaics- how this world shines, THAT is the ultimate what is possible with community and I know that you know that.
You’ve made such a compelling case that as children, we are raised (mostly) in a way that squashes our inner flame – the authenticity that God saw fit to infuse us with.
What an interesting conundrum we’re faced with as human beings: deep within us is the recognition that we’re special and that we were born complete. Yet on the surface, surrounding everything we do, think & say is evidence to the contrary.
I suppose that’s why the spiritual awakening process is necessary. We’re born unique and perfect, but quickly fall into the collective coma that hides that knowledge from us. Then, somewhere along our path, we reawaken to it and spend the rest of our lives trying to embrace our authenticity and make it work in a world that hasn’t collectively woken up yet. Not easy! Yet so very worthwhile. And the more we kindred spirits seek each other out and connect, the brighter and more attractive our light — our one-of-a-kind, come-as-you-are light – will shine.
Thank you for allowing so many of us to connect on your site. When we do, in a way it’s like coming home to ourselves.
Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s last blog ..In Favor of Friendlier Foods
Hey Megan, you got it what community can do as well.
To keep the candle of a new world image alive we need each other. To keep us from falling back into a ‘coma’, or ‘trance’ as Victoria Castle the author of Trance of Scarcity calls it, we need a community of kindred spirits.
I too am very grateful for you and the others here, more than I can say.
It has meant so much to know that I am not alone and that a brother and sisterhood that is aiming to be the wind beneath each others wings is possible.
I see it right in front of my eyes with every comment here and on yours and other people’s blogs.
It makes my heart sing and it makes me wake up joyfully. What a gift you all are and you too, my beautiful friend.
There is one catch though, to be mindful of what we take on and not to get distracted by wanting to do too much too soon.
We still have to take care of ourselves and making sure that sponsorship will keep our own candle alight.
Wilma,
I love coming your site because you always make me think. I had to stop and get another cup of coffee before commenting.
When I think about this post, I think this is a life lesson for humanity. We have to become awake to the problems facing our world. I think the first step is becoming aware as individuals. Each of us has to choose to SEE the problems and own them.
Then like Megan said, we can begin to join together into what I think of as communities of the heart. These are communities that seek to share and foster feelings like compassion, kindness, empathy, and responsibility for the betterment of the group, be it local or global.
Just reading your post and the comments you’ve received shows that these communities are growing. And more than ever before, we now have access to each other at a global level.
I believe as these communities of the heart grow, the positive energy they bring will change our world. As we learn to turn our compassion into action and join with others doing the same, we CAN “Be the change [we} want to see.”
Sara´s last blog ..Picture Story: Picture Quotes
Hi Sara
I can smell your coffee while reading your comment. I too love my coffee and really enjoy the whole experience.
I love what you say here;
You had of course a great example in your father when he did community in a very practical and action orientated way as the family doctor.
I do agree that it really boils down to us being love in action and these internet communities can be a real trail blazer.
Having said that we need to pay attention here as well because even here we can fall back into a very humdrum communicating at social integration level.
Some times that is alright, I do it when it is appropriate but the danger is leaving too many comments on too many blogs and reverting back to do-ing low level superficial, social integration community interaction.
It is still a very fine line we are treading to stay true to what we want to change.
We all seem to wrestle with this topic you have thought out so well today. The public school system is a leveling system designed to mold us. It kills our creativity, our individuality and drive. It also tries to teach us that if we just shut up and follow the rules we can win. And if we just work really hard, nothing bad will happen. And what we were told is absolutely not true.
I am delighted to see so many young people look for what they call their “Amazing Work”. They go against the teachings of conventional and often mediocre thinking to blaze their own path. They value their gifts, simplicity and truth. They follow their hearts and not necessarily the money. I believe this next generation will change the world.
World hunger could end. I am a huge fan of Heifer International, UMCOR, Global Hope, and Compassion International. Dave and I support these as well as our own local community projects. If everyone would give up eating out once a week for a month or two, the money put to work could end world hunger. (I’m not talking about a hand out here.)
I also love your point about how home needs to be a healing, loving, nurturing environment for all who live there. The world beats us up badly enough. I’ve never understood the work war zones. Some of us are team players and love pulling together with others for a common cause (bigger than ourselves). Office politics make me tired and cranky.
You are building a bridge across the world sharing your wisdom and ideas Wilma. You go girl! We love it.
Erin´s last blog ..Advent
Hi Erin
What gets me is that I see so little productive community around me while we all are these fantastic individuals.
It is great to see youth wanting to do things different, but youth has always been the ones who could see the issues. In my day it was the students who protested too against their current society and yet when push come to shove where are all the flower power people now?
They have mostly become middle aged, middle class parents concerned about their mortgage and their kids education.
To sustain youth’s innocent perception and wonderment the community needs to support their criticism and it very seldom does.
In the end it pulls most creative thinkers back into line and THAT is what happened to me for a long time and THAT is why becoming the change you want to see is still harder than one thinks.
The youth has enthusiasm, but the status quo has more experience.
Hi Wilma,
One of the benefits of my childhood was that I was the kid always stuck out for being different. First it was because I was the first ethnic kid in the neigborhood and second, I had a birth defect that just made me look different. So at the age of five, I was stamped with the label of being weird. When I was nine, my birth defect was corrected and I looked normal but I still felt different. As a result, I never ever felt that I was one of the majority. I was always the odd one.
As time went on, I embraced that rebelliousness and wore it proudly like a badge. I spoke freely and just did whatever I felt like doing. Not everyone likes people who are like that and many people tried to make me conform. At one point, I tried and that is when I went to law school and that led to me going through a series of events which caused my entire life to fall apart which was a huge blessing.
With lots of inner work and the spiritual journey that I have had, I have come to love that label of being the weird one and when I came to make peace with the fact that I will always be the odd one, it was then that I was able to open my heart and love everyone else.
And as God as my witness, I do seriously feel love for everyone who crosses my path. When I go out into the world, I just send out love. We each have something that makes us unique and we need to embrace who we are. When we are able to love ourselves, then we are able to love the world.
We are all one and we are all connected. There is no such thing as independence. We rely on others to bring us our electricity, our water, our Internet connection and so on. So none of us are truly independent. We are just one.
Nadia – Happy Lotus´s last blog ..Being Creative
Hi Nadia
Would I be right in saying that just like George, you being born with difference saved you from conformity and uniformity?
George also had to come to terms with his difference as you too obviously had to come to terms with yours.
And you both choose this;
You both choose to work with your difference rather than against it and approached your community with a new confidence and a knowing that “fitting in to be as everybody else” was not an option.
I agree with you in principle that we are all connected, AND I can see how things could change when we really live as if we are all connected.
THAT would make an astounding world AND that is what we still do not really live by.
Can you imagine Nadia, if all the people right in front of you let you contribute to them fully?
You have so much to give and yet most of us are only allowed to give a fraction of what we desire and are capable of. I can see what is possible on your blog, the love that is shared there is a balm for my heart.
Imagine if we could let our love go rampant in our daily world every minute of the day and imagine it happening all around us!
Hi Wilma – So much to ponder here. We do live in a world where we’re taught to wear masks, to play act our way through life with the script pretty much written. To stay on the surface, keep our distance, and not descend into our depths or reach for our fullest humanity. And yet, despite of that I feel strangely hopeful. I can look back at the past and see all those sparks of creativity and wholeness, in myself and others. I do remember times when my uniqueness, authenticity, and choice was validated. I suppose I look at it as an ancient story that has two sides, as all stories do. The part we’ve been collectively living is about scarcity and isolation, but there have been hints and doors opening around abundance and connectivity. I feel it’s there for the taking, especially now, because there is such a yearning for it. But in order to embrace it we have to be willing to allow ourselves to take off the masks and be uncertain. And we need people like you to keep reminding us of it! So thank you for this.
Patty – Why Not Start Now?´s last blog ..Retracing My Steps
Hi Patty
I do agree that some of us had a taste like you say here;
I can see you having a good time with your built in community at college on the roof.
In our youth we are still able to be open and have a taste of it before ‘adult’ life takes over and snuffs out that candle.
Those times will pull you forward no doubt and might inspire your blog writing.
Now I too feel it is time to relight the divine spark in us after becoming aware that it has gone dull and somewhat dark in our world.
However there is still ‘wind’ around that can blow our precious candle out, and that is what I am becoming aware of.
Otherwise how come we cannot keep it alive, how come it is so hard to relight that spark you and I have seen so many years ago?
Hi Wilma! It’s a great mission to be able to change the world, but you’re right, we can only change a few people at a time, especially those who are close to us. Also, I believe that we can further narrow it down to changing ourselves first. When we change, we also affect the people around us, like a small ripple that creates a big wave in the long run! Be blessed!
I TAKE OFF THE MASK´s last blog ..Are You Editing Yourself Too Much?
Hi Joyce.
I think it would be good if we let go of the idea we can change the world because we cannot. The only one we can change is ourselves and THAT is already a huge mission in itself.
However we do ourselves a favor by realizing how badly resourced we are to become the change we want to see.
We are not skilled in doing things differently, we are very skilled in doing things the same as everybody else.
Once we get the measure of the resistance and what causes the resistance, at least we are fore warned and know what we are dealing with here.
Then we might have a chance to become the change we want to see and wake up to the fact; how come we all ‘want’ but cannot ‘do’.
Hi Wilma — I can relate to a lot of what you say about not being in an environment where your uniqueness was supported — and what I also get is how having those experiences has helped you understand what you want to change about the world, and to get involved with the projects you’re working on now. It’s funny how those “crucible” experiences help us to become the change we want to see.
Hey Chris,
Observing and being honest about what I saw, has made me see how the beliefs, habits and attitudes I took on did not serve me.
You support people via embodiment to check what they observing, I listened to my heart and could see something was amiss.
I do think deep down we all know, most of us are however very seldom supported to do something constructive with that knowledge. So we truck on in our old ways and die a lonely early death after a disease riddled life.
It is really not hard to see that that is the case, what IS hard to see is how to change this.
We need other people to encourage us, we need a change of context and conversations AND we need some guidance HOW to do life differently. I for a long time had no clue what was different behavior, nobody role modeled it. However you and I have found a way to escape the old ways and we both know it all starts with ourselves and changing context.
Hi Wilma,
I think you would really like the book by Dr. Bruce Lipton, “The Biology of Belief” (Jodi at Joy Discovered turned me on to it.)
Joy touched on part of the problem as our programming – but it goes so much deeper than that. The collective crud of which you speak is deeply rooted in the fear of nearly every human being on this planet. It’s passed down to us, generation after generation, as if it’s programmed into our genetic makeup.
On of my favorite sayings comes from the SGI – the largest lay Buddhist organization in the world, “How do you acheive world peace? One individual at a time.”
And it take ginormous efforts of nearly epic proportions just to acheive poise of mind and peace in one’s own heart. I know for me, it’s a life long endeavor.
Hugs to you for sharing this important topic with us all!
Peggy at Serendipity Smiles´s last blog ..Invisible Lies
Hi Peggy.
Bruce Lipton sure shows how little we really know. There is fear in our cells but there is also the original programming of love and connectedness with the abundance source.
I have noticed that when I am in a context of love, the original programming is coming back.
Since I am careful who I am talking to and since I am careful what I am surrounding myself with, the original programming sure has a chance to come alive and IT IS.
I just have to be aware to nurture that little seedling that is sticking up its head and to be aware of where the bad weather systems are coming from and when, so I can protect it.
I do agree with you when you say;
However it is more possible than you think once you are in a supportive context, I am convinced of it, it is happening right now with Ann-Marie and me.
And I am so grateful we are becoming aware, my friend!
Wilma,
I was nodding my head, and hanging on every word of this post. It is so very true. I, myself, am much more aware of being a change in the world because of your community posts.
I have always considered myself to be very giving, open, and friendly but my eyes are open to the fact that I can do more, be more in many things.
Knowing vs doing has been my primary focus. I know, so I can do. I have hope because I read your wonderful words of advice, and the wisdom of many commenters.
As always thank you for addressing these issues. You are dear to me.
xoxo
Angelia Sims´s last blog ..Timeless Angels
Hi Angelia
You are dear to me too for hanging in on the conversation and taking things on.
You say;
Sometimes it is not a matter of doing more, you probably do enough already, it is about do-ing things differently coming from a different be-ing, at least that has become clear to me.
I am now love-in-action, I still might look like a people pleaser but something inside me has shifted.
I am now doing things from a choice, rather from I have to because otherwise I am nasty, selfish or unfriendly.
There is so much more freedom in that way of be-ing AND more honesty and clarity.
I can now say ‘no’ more often too, so I am less and less over commiting myself.
Ann-Marie is noticing the difference, I am easier to work with because I am not saying yes all the time and then become passive aggressive.
John noticed it too and this clarity makes it so much easier for all of us.
I am even doing less and everybody is happy about that. That blew me away.
There is a lot of skewed thinking and that is holding us back.
I love that you are sticking with us, Angelia and I cannot wait to hear about the changes you will create. You deserve a marvelous life.
Hi Angelia, I just read your last post and let me tell you that showed you do enough and that you are love in action. You do enough and you love enough.
Kia ora Wilma,
Each time I come to your place, or return to read, I always find so much relevant to my immediate life from you and your commenters I just sit back amazed. I am currently struggling with my teen age son, who has left school at age 16 with no real plans in place except some part time work. There is a part of me that struggles with that, with getting out of the box we are put in and get socialized into. And part of me is proud of him for actually recognizing how much he hated, not the learning, but the institutionalization of the schooling process itself. Why can’t he take some time to discover his own path now, even make a few mistakes? Finding some of the comments and your post make me feel infinitely more reassured in just supporting him, letting him find his own way, and recognizing that his own individual questioning of things, and his uniqueness might even come from myself, and his mother. He is actually much happier and easier to be around than he was “in there”. I hope I am not too far off the point of your lovely words, but I just wanted to write they, and the words of your commenters, have impacted me powerfully. Kia kaha.
Aroha,
Robb
Robb´s last blog ..Thankful
Kia ora Robb
You have no idea how wonderful this is to hear you say this;
Oh Robb, you are giving your son such a great present, oh Robin Easton would be proud of you too.
Megan also said it beautifully,
I know that as parents we want our children to be safe and secure and secretly want them to walk a well known path and yet that is the biggest lie of all. We only make our children secure by supporting them to find their own path.
Oh Robb, I am so proud of you, and I am so grateful that this contributes to you and your son. I know it is hard to let your children seek and question and make mistakes but it is such a valuable thing to do.
. Your son might enjoy reading it too as it might help him to verbalize his thoughts.
Your son is really onto it, we only learn from experience and from being in the context. Sitting in a class room learning unrelated things is NOT learning, that is conforming.
I have a website for you that might support you and your son.
It is about a school in Holland that supports self generated learning and the website is in English
You rock, you go for it both and you will learn lots from him no doubt, how cool is that.
Hei kona ra, Wilma
Hi Wilma I come from Robb’s site and clicked on your name because I thought it was Dutch and it is I see. What a wonderful site you’ve got here with so much wisdom.
Yes it is hard to be the change you wish to see and therefore I think it is a blessing when difficulties come on your path which teaches you compassion, which you can pass on to others it is a long growing process and I’ve got still much to learn.
I read checked out the school you mentioned to Robb Interesting My kids go to school in Christchurch to Unlimited which is a very unconventional school in which they are allowed to choose their own path in their own pace. I love it. Anyway groetjes en een prettig weekend
Hi Marja
Welcome, cool to meet another Dutch woman here in New Zealand.
Well it is no good beating ourselves up that it is so hard to become the change you want to see as it IS hard. It really serves us to know that and to see what makes it so hard.
At least you then can do something to protect yourself and to find like minded people who can keep you going when the going gets tough.
It sure is a process but worth it for us and our children and their children.
Good to have found a school that honors young minds, their minds are so open and it is a shame they get filled with unnecessary bagage.
Groetjes terug and jij ook een fijn weekend. Liefs Wilma
Wilma,
Wow you’ve hit a button here. I hope you write more on the same. Get this now I like Nadia love everyone and pretty much live in a state of gratitude. I also bless people silently, pray for people I know don’t like me let alone love me. I am kind and considerate etc.
This isn’t easy my ego and I define it like Marianne Williamson defines it is constantly trying to knock me off my path by convincing me we aren’t one, we’re separate and by the way Tess “Don’t you know you’re special?”
So the reason I meditate, pray and attend ACIM groups regularly is to keep my ego in check. Which most of the time I do…and so Roger and I went to a group Monday night. They had CD’s by a guy named Jacob Glass who does ACIM groups in Santa Barbara, CA and they were lending them out. So of course I love this guy too and Roger and I each take one.
So on Tuesday (less than 24 hours later) I’m driving in my car listening to Jacob Glass in the CD player. I’m trying to get on the expressway and once on I have to cross 6 lanes of traffic to get in the HOV lane (where people who use alternative fuel drive.)
Now it’s difficult to get over there because the traffic is crawling and i have to change lanes 5 times. Once there, because there’s so few of us, we can cruise right on out of all the traffic.
Now I’m the person who will allow 5 cars to go in front of me. And it’s my husband who has only recently learned to be kind to others in traffic. (of course this comparison alone is ego based.)
As I’m trying to cross over lane 3 there are two trucks that are refusing to allow me in. Again this is no easy feat and the more I tried the more they edged me out. I gave up and felt my temper rising. Finally someone let me in and I got to the HOV lane. Just when I’m calming down I pass what I realize were those two trucks and the drivers who wouldn’t let me in!
So what kind of loving thing do I do? I lay on the horn, long and ugly beeps and scream assholes!
Now like I said I thought I was centered and peaceful from all my spiritual practices. LOL And I totally took myself by surprise. What does this tell me. I’m never done growing. I never finish peeling back the layers. I must continue to forgive myself and others.
And all other people on the planet are here to teach me one thing. To learn to love unconditionally. I love what Robin Easton writes and agree with Nadia and Megan.
I know when I can quit growing and that will be the day I can walk on water! Until then I will continue to be the change I wish to see. I’ll fall and get back up and I’m going to start blessing truck drivers in particular and send extra loving thoughts and prayers to them!
Tess The Bold Life´s last blog ..Can 2010 Be Better Than 2009?
OMG I believe I have a record here on my longest comment ever!
Tess The Bold Life´s last blog ..Can 2010 Be Better Than 2009?
Keep them coming Tess, your honesty, humour and willingness to share so openlly with us, is heartwarming, valuable and real. You keep it real Tess.
Life comes at us and we react, our auto pilot kicks in … we lay on the horn and scream assholes and continue on our way. We are so used to living this way that change has to be an on-going process. Learning, observing, doing fundamental change, it’s a constant occurance in everyday life. When we stop reacting then we can start creating and being the change.
I see your tremdous love for humanity, I see it so clearly in you.
And I love what you’re creating with the truck drivers … bless em!
Much love Ann-Marie
Hey Tess.
Yes you sure have outdone yourself with this comment, we do a course in miracles too you know!
It is so easy to say ‘yes’ I know this stuff and ‘yes’ I do it, but you are spot on with your example. We do NOT have it together because this world has NOT got it together. How can you stay squeeky clean when the whole world around you throws mud at each other. You are bound to get some mud on you as well!
I am with Ann-Marie here, I absolutely adore and so appreciate your honesty, more than you know.
When you observe yourself, you see that you cannot always be the change you want to see, despite how much you want it. And there is nothing wrong with that. It is what it is and when you are aware at least you understand when you observe yourselt doing this:
We are indeed never done growing. we will never be finished peeling back the layers as you said and as long as we know that we can observe and correct.
THAT is what Ann-Marie and I are on about, observe and correct and you gave a great example about what I am trying to say here, my beautiful bold friend.
Dear All,
For ME:
The only thing in the World I CAN change is my self;
and that has made a;ll the difference in the World.
Bow to Teachers
IN JOY,
Tricia
Namaste’
Hi Tricia
Indeed there is where our power lies, to change the world by changing ourselves and THAT is what I can work towards and knowing that gives me great joy too.
I bow to everybody as everybody is my teacher.
Namaste, Wilma
Hi WIlma .. I’m very late here – I think I just hadn’t subscribed and hadn’t realised until Christmas or so, when all the palava was ’sort of done’ .. still not but I’ll catch up.
A whole new world, a whole new community – I haven’t read all the comments but the negativity of the life this western civilisation seems to have cut out for us, you seem to have set out well. I’ve always ‘admired’ (wanted to be like) those friends with loving parents, people who can mix and match easily, where it doesn’t matter what’s happening they just get on with it.
I have in the last 20 years or so picked up on changes that I could make and some I have, but it’s tricky if life is not easy .. and I haven’t been able to get away as such. I am definitely politer, kinder, more thoughtful – but I still get cross, when I perceive others aren’t thinking or aware of my boundaries and that being a little adapting to my needs, when I perceive I’m fitting in with them most of the time – makes life not easy.
I found my feet in South Africa, and I’m glad I came home – I’ve enjoyed the family and friends etc … however it can be negative as they don’t change. Perhaps life will be easier when I am free and my mother has been cared for: it is easier with only one to care for.
I am learning now – especially this year .. has been an upward turn since becoming a member of the awesome people that are around here – I can’t believe my luck in finding these bloggers and their thought provoking thoughts and sensible admonishments that we can improve our lives in so many ways – and that they are here to guide us .. with whomever we feel like relating to – spiritually, thoughtfully etc etc
I’ll be on to the other posts as the day passes -
I hope you’ve both had happy times in these last few days and are looking forward to 2010 with peace and blessings for all – or as Robin says love for all.
Hilary Melton-Butcher
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