Accessing the wealth that has me BE a wealthy base camp.
I loved that the post, I am base camp resonated so strongly with so many of you who have read it.
And given the comments from some of you on your own reluctance to look after yourself, it certainly looks like I am not alone here.
Isn’t it amazing that when you look at yourself in a different light and see yourself as a structure, see yourself as base camp, how this reluctance just doesn’t make sense anymore?
It all of a sudden seems ludicrous NOT to look after yourself, NOT to keep base camp well maintained and prosperous, especially when you can see that the expedition called your life totally depends on it.
I can talk about the good life, spirituality and enjoying myself until the cows come home but that’s all just ‘hot air’ if I DON’T keep ME in great shape.
Now that we have jumped this first hurdle and agreed on the importance of ‘loving and caring for ourselves’, the next step is to get stuck in and go for it.
This involves stepping from the knowing to the doing by implementing ways that make us a well equipped, well sponsored and well maintained prosperous structure; an incredible base camp!
The WomenLikeMe Program addresses this as follows;
“What do You do that contributes to your maintenance, to you staying a prosperous structure?
Obviously there are the daily habits like feeding and washing yourself that contribute to your Prosperity.
But what other prosperity can you give yourself?
Some suggestions are:
- Love yourself; love is an exchange of energy, so loving yourself is a form of prosperity.
- Speaking well of yourself. Saying nice things about yourself, both out loud and quietly (observing your Little Voice is a start) which is preferable to putting yourself down or cursing yourself.
- Removing yourself from situations or people that don’t serve you.
- Eat well and regularly.
- Look after your well-being with exercise and rest.
- Look after your health by being informed about your body, consulting with health professionals and be knowledgeable about what care and energy your body needs to prosper.
- Make clear requests of others.
Most likely you might already be doing some of these things AND just as likely, you might NOT be noticing that you do the opposite.
It might be that your way of BEing is to NOT love yourself, to speak NOT highly of yourself and to put your actions down, to put up with harmful and dominating situations and people and to NOT take care of your body.”
(WomenLikeMe on ME – A Prosperous Structure)
So I have taken this on board with great delight and I can report that I am having fun implementing some great prosperous habits that are taking care of ME.
Take note that the key word here is ‘habits’ as making it a habit will guarantee a more regular maintenance program so to speak.
And there’s another thing about base camp that has struck me.
Have you noticed that base camps are usually sponsored as people can see the sense of contributing to great ones?
Great base camps understand sponsorship and being base camp myself I can see the sense of allowing John and others to sponsor me AND I can also see the reason why they want to do so.
Who doesn’t love amazing base camps!
Before this explanation about how sponsorship can contribute to base camp, I had real trouble accepting coffee in bed. Now I am totally okay with John jumping up early and making coffee for me while I take my time to slowly wake up and get into my day.
We both win here, the sponsor and the sponsored!
I am not a morning person, even when I was young I could not cope with breakfast and John absolutely loves to roam around in the garden in the early morning light while the coffee percolates.
He loves this way of sponsoring his base camp and I absolutely adore this type of sponsorship.
It certainly gives our relationship a different perspective.
Sponsoring each other and letting oneself be sponsored versus competition and the feeling of being taken advantage of, certainly makes the journey together so much more fun.
Could life really be that easy?
In this case “Yes, it can”.
Making clear requests is still hard one for me as I struggle to justify my right to take up other people’s valuable time. However I did ask Ann-Marie to take me to the airport so I could leave the car at her place for the four days I was away.
I also saw it as a chance to see baby Molly.
After having made that request though I had to go into battle with my Little Voice.
It was making me wrong for asking and telling me that Molly would miss out on her afternoon sleep and that Ann-Marie would miss out on her ME-time because of that.
However base camp clearly told it off and said it was okay to make requests.
In the end it all worked out brilliantly.
My health has been saved and maintained by Pilates, although at first I was very reluctant to do this form of exercise. I hate physical exercises as I had no coordination as a kid. And I was totally intimidated by those images of complicated machines and impossible Pilates postures.
However John took me along anyway and what a blessing it turned out to be.
Of course I am not as uncoordinated as I think and to my amazement I am doing the exercises just fine.
Now every morning, like clockwork, Pilates it is and I love it.
I am sure that if I didn’t do it, my arms and shoulders would ache alot from sitting behind the computer the way I do. And my spinning and knitting would have suffered also, given that too requires my arms and shoulders to do the work.
But even though I love it, I do have to watch that I am not rushing my Pilates to get going with work.
Looking back I also wonder why it took me so long to get over my aversion to exercise.
I could have sorted my upper body aches and pains out a lot sooner. Hmm.
Speaking with good purpose about myself has been an interesting one.
If you think of it, it is actually a very weird habit to talk ill of yourself and unfortunately it can be completely invisible to most of us, most of the time.
I wonder how things pop out of my mouth like;
“Oh yeah I work from home but I am not good at business though and do not like money.”
or
“I blog, but I am not really a writer and I certainly don’t know much about all that internet stuff.”
“How stupid of me not to take the bread out of the freezer.”
What makes me say all this and what for?
Who would want to sponsor a base camp that does not speak well of itself?
So if I do not value myself, how can I accept sponsorship from people and the universe and maintain high standards?
Hmm, this is certainly worth observing.
I need to stop these utterances that devalue me.
And there you have it; elementary, my dear Watson, elementary; it is all about looking after base camp.
It is all about putting habits in place to have me BE a prosperous structure, a wealthy base camp, a spring board from which I can build a prosperous, wealth filled life.
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Ohh Wilma, I always love your take on things.
Seeing myself as being sponsored or indeed as a sponsor has thrown a whole different light on the subject of looking after oneself. I too have found it difficult to ask for help or make requests of others, telling myself that I am impinging on them. However if I relate to them as my sponsor, someone to support me with what I truly desire in life, well that’s a whole different ball game. I find that it gives me the confidence to ask others to invest in me and vice versa. Sponsorship aids responsibility of self, it leads me to being fully expressed and ultimately it gives me freedom.
Wilma, I so value your sponsorship and I am so blessed to have it. Thanks a mil.
Hugs
Ann-Marie
Hey Ann-Marie, I so see how I have been limiting myself by not looking after me and by not sticking up for making me the best I possibly can be. How one can be in such a muddle about this, I will never know, but I was. I even looked better after car than myself.
It still takes some practice as you know, bad habits die hard but I can so understand the value of it by looking at it as basecamp and sponsorhsip and that sure helps to get on with it.
I trust all is still good in Ireland?
Take care, talk to you soon and yes I too value you enormously.
Hugs to all of you and a kiss for Molly, love Wilma
Hi Wilma .. great post – I need a bit of this just now. I must get into Pilates again .. and to walking every day – but running around between hospitals, or my uncle’s home, before he became ill have kept me doing what I need to do. Essentially I do look after myself and say no to a lot – I can’t do it all.
I need to get through today .. so I am ensuring I give myself a good chance – stopping work shortly and concentrating on what I need to do for a meeting, and then my mother and more importantly my uncle on his move up to where my mother is – but he was so unwell last night – I am very concerned.
I can only do what I can do .. and I know today ..what I need to do .. – bye for now! All the best
Hilary Melton-Butcher
Positive Letters Inspirational Stories
Hi Hilary
I know, life does its thing and in your life you are very busy with your mother and your uncle and that is how it is. I do admire how you have chosen to care for them AND in these situations we still need to find energy and space to care for ourselves.
Wonderful that you find time for Pilates and walks, at least it gets the tenseness out of your body.
AND yes we can only do today what we can do what is in front of us and it is important to know that and to not stress to want to do more or have it being any other way. That is harder than it sounds and Hilary once again I admire you for seeing that.
Best wishes once again with your uncle and the move to where your mother is. In my way I pray it will go well, love Wilma
Hi Wilma,
I totally agree about the importance of a base camp. That is what I have been doing recently.
As life would have it, a relative of mine passed away which makes me even more focused on being deliberate in how I choose to live my life.
For years, it was really hard for me to ask for help. When I got married, my husband pointed that out to me and as a result, I started to work on it. As a result, I do ask for help when needed. It still feels like pulling teeth on my end because it is so not natural yet but there is improvement.
We are all works in progress!
Oh Nadia, I so can understand how you have become independant and self reliant. When you are making a stand that is authentic and comes from inner guidance than that is hard for others and some isolation and going it alone is the result, I have found.
Then when you find someone who operates at the same level like your husband, it is kind of hard to realize that you have a friendly loving ally, a sponsor.
I so can relate to that and you are a champ for changing and now allowing that. You so deserve support for how you live your life, yeah.
And do I agree with you saying that that we are work in progress and itsn’t it wonderful to see the growth.
Lots of love, Wilma
Great article, it is only with stillness and releasing fear that I’ve realized that I had not been using an abundant resource around me, and that is the love of everyone I know!
Thanks for insight.
Kaushik, being afraid of love, tragic and yes we all do it.
If only we could see the flow, accept the change instead of clinging to people, things and circumstances for fear of what is next and always seeing the love around us.
However one day we will as we know.
I love this idea of making me “base camp.” My story is a little different; I don’t struggle with feeling too selfish if I put myself first, but rather feeling like I won’t do it well enough. The old perfection story. But I like the base camp notion because it’s another way to locate my story outside myself, which helps me to be more aware and conscious of it. Thanks!
Hi Patty. You are a real treasure to be looking after yourself, we need more of you!
Ah, the perfection story, where do we get that from? Who sets the standards for basecamp, where do you get those from and who measures them.
Cool that the base camp concept works for perfection as well.
I love your slant on base camp, I am sure that will resonate with a lot of others. Hugs Wilma
Wilma,
This is just so wonderful! To think of ourselves as a base camp. It never crossed my mind. How true. For the last 15 years I have been focused on re-creating a tranquil, healthy and generous base camp of my own. What a journey. I still have glitches once in a while. I push too hard, still expect to much of myself. But each year I learn more and more gentleness, being okay with just being me, and not a version that other people expect. We are all a work in progress. May we be gentle to ourselves all along the way.
Oh Jan, what a journey we are on, unlearning and relearning to gain a way of living that is useful for us so we get to access our greatness, joy and peacefulness.
Isn’t it interesting, when you say you are working on a healthy and tranquil basecamp without expecting too much of myself, I think “Yes. That makes so much sense and yet how many of us DO not do that.”
For me this base camp concept has been a door that opens a different view on ME, that now allows me to do that too gently.
Beating myself up is another form of abuse I too do not need anymore.
Jan, I love hearing this perspective on your life, indeed may we gently progress. Love Wilma
What a great blog – I’m going to become a regular here. You are so right about taking care of yourself. You can only give if you have something to give.
Great post!
Hi Lisa.
It is interesting isn’t it? Intellectually that makes sense, we can only give when we have something, but how to get it myself has not been well understood. I could accept what was given but deliberately going for what I needed, has been a different story.
I appreciate your kind words and your visit, I enjoy acknowledgments. Love Wilma
I wish I could honor all of what you said on a regular basis, tending to base camp in every way you pointed out. I don’t, frankly, and depending on what week we’re in, struggle with one or more of those areas. I do all right in many ways, and sometimes manage to get every area in tip top shape. But even now, as I’m typing this comment, I’m thinking, “You’re not making any sense, and you’re being so negative…” My critical voice is probably my biggest issue. It’s the voice that gets the best of me many times and has to be quieted down like a petulant child.
Funny how something that seems so simple can be so challenging.
I’m glad I have resources like to to turn to, though, for inspiration. (smile)
Hi Megan. I feel I have overcomplicated life and indeed that pesky Little inner Voice has a lot to answer for. It seldom rests and it seldom approves.
Martha Beck says it is like a committee on which we have invited our worst enemies instead of our best friends. That made me laugh but it is so true.
Deep down we know what is best, but as Jan says we are so influenced by what other people expect we have lost the plot in my eyes.
So now I am getting the plot back by gathering explanations that ring useful to my heart AND my mind and if they are useful I am going to use them.
Ha, that feels like a petulant child as well, but somehow a more healthier and fun one.
So indeed, Megan let’s use each other as a resource to get through this, you are so good to play with, hugs Wilma
Thanks for this Wilma. Asking for what I want is an edge I’ve been pushing as well — what I’ve tried to keep in mind is that, when I don’t ask for what I want for fear of hurting someone, I’m really just creating this image of them as overly fragile and unable to say “no” to me — and in reality most of the people in my life aren’t that way.
Hi Chris.
Yes, asking for what you want is a right and a concept that we have to regain. I can hear the reactions already, oh but you cannot always have what you want etc.
There are so many misconceptions and there is so much misunderstanding about how to live and what to do at a pratical level.
However for me the base camp idea is making it easy to explain to myself that if base camp needs it for a great expedition, then of course I can ask and that is NOT indulging and selfish.
It makes me stand strong and confident, and indeed I am not fragile and muddled.
I love it and I love what you say about creating a fragile image.
Could that not be manipulative and saying to people do not hurt me either? Hmm.
Thanks Chris, that certainly encourages me to keep observing what I am doing. Love Wilma.
This is so true. When we look at ourselves in this perspective, we are able to love ourselves and take care of ourselves more. And by doing that, the more we become a blessing to those around us, especially our loved ones, and those who make up our home.
Hi Joyce. What I found so interesting that only this new way of looking at myself, got me accepting of looking after myself. It is a bit like the latest post on your own blog where Einstein says, a watch has many faces and we never know the mechanism behind it. That is so true of life and now I am taking another look at the mechanism of life I see another world and other possibilities opening up. Magical and exciting isn’t it?
Love Wilma
Thank you so very much for such insight! So much valuable information–will take me a bit to process it all. I love the idea of sponsorship–my most recent life lesson is learning to be a good receiver, and that ties right in. I think the most critical voice I often hear is my own, so I promised myself to try to be as compassionate and loving with myself as I am with my own loved ones–huge turnaround for me. I wouldn’t think of criticizing or denegrating another person at all, yet at times rather than celebrate my accomplishments, my inner voice finds fault in a mistake.
Hi Joy. Somehow my comment to you has disappeared so here goes another one.
That inner Little Voice has a lot to answer for and yes I too wonder why it is so negative to us. Martha Bekc says we have chosen a committee in our head made up of our enemies rather than our loving best friends. So true. maybe it is to be in first before others hurt us. Who knows but it sure is a pain.
I love how you say you would not talk to others how you talk to yourself, so let’s catch that voice and stop it.
I am all for it and thanks for sharing your take on base camp, it all adds to making us stronger.
Love Wilma
Hi Wilma,
I love the image of thinking of myself as a base camp! I’ve been on board with the self-care routine and allowing others to take care of me (spefically Richard…he also brings me coffee in bed!) but it has taken a life threatening illness and a willingness to let go of my need to always “be in control.”
I take care of my base camp through my yoga practice and teaching others yoga, through Thai Kickboxing which keeps me mentally sharp and physically in the best shape *I’ve Ever* been in (and I’m 46 next month). I’m always learning something new, so if that means taking a writing class or CEU classes for yoga or learning how to paint…I’m keeping my base camp energized and lively!
And letting go – and allowing others to do for me does not rob them of their blessings. As I’m slowly learning this part of it, I am slowly teaching this to my adult daughters who are a little like me when I was in my early 20’s (I can do this all by myself, thank you very much…and then struggle more than I probably should have)
xo
Peggy
Hi Peggy. Oh this ‘I can do it by myself’ youthfull ignorance is so painful and itsn’t it great to have the insight to see what your daughters are doing. For me having these explanations has given me the chance to be clear to my daughters as well so we all understand what is going on here.
One daughter is apporachable in my case, the other is unfortunately less perceptive.
Isn’t it also interesting that something has to jolt us into another way of doing, in your case your illness. However not all of us get that message though, so good on you to have taken your chance to learn when the opportunity to learn from experience was so evidently offered to you.
Great to see your additional slant on the post, that is much appreciated. We can learn so much from each other, love Wilma
Hi Wilma,
Oh yes base camp is so important. I meditate, exercise, go to a support group and hang out with people who love me.
What my heart has been aching for is something creative off line. I’m going to go some new paints and a journal this week. My husband is gone for 5 days so I have lots of time to follow my heart.
Thanks for the reminder, I find I need them from time to time to keep me on my toes!
Hey Tess. From what I have read in your book, you sure know the importance of base camp, it shows in how you live your life and can choose what is good for YOU. As a result you are clear and although some choices have been difficult, you are living a great life.
Thanks for showing though that we are always work in progress and that we need maintenance, it makes me feel better to know that even you need it
This is a great way of looking at how to take care of ourselves! I used to think I was doing well to take care of me last…to put everyone else first. man, I totally crashed and burned with that philosophy. This puts it all in perspective! Lovely article! xo
Hi Diantha, oh that misplaced putting ourselves last to be a good host, partner, mother whatever.
I do agree how that has lead me astray too, I lost my sense of what I wanted in life and I did not even serve that well either as a result.
Gandhi served and yet was not fading away as a person.
Lovely to have you here and hear me. Love Wilma
Hi Wilma,
I love how you describe us as a base camp. Your point about how we talk to ourselves is SO true. One thing I’m learning is to stop thoughts or words mid stream if they’re at all negative toward myself. Like you said, when we keep saying that negative stuff, we begin to believe it.
Your mention of pilates reminds me I need to check out the pilates DVD I have. I’ve read so many good things about it, but haven’t made the time to do them. Thank you for helping me move that to the top of my list.
Hi Barbara. It is so good to hear that I am NOT alone in having developed these weird habits around myself. What is it with us to talk to ourselves like we wouldn;t even talk to our worst enemy.
Never mind, at least we are observing it now and having the sense to do something about it. good on you to catch yourself midstream. That is a class act.
Oh I love my pilates. As I said I first thought they were very difficult exercises but they are not and they have made me so much more flexible than I have ever been. AND my arms and shoulders would be a mess if I didn’t do Pilates, I am sure.
Good on you to get that DVD out, should I keep buddying you and see that you are following up on this good intention; after all I want to keep you in good shape so you keep writing your great posts.
Love Wilma
Oh Wilma, another fabulous post! We both seem to be in the same place – you mentioned that on my blog as well! Why is it that it takes so many years? Oh wellllll – I’m so glad to be where I am, and who I am. I think for many years I did not ask for help because I wasn’t really sure what I needed – it was hard to articulate in my mumbo-jumbo fog.
I have a simple routine in the morning that has so helped me! First of all when I wake up, I’m so damn grateful just to BE HERE! Starting the first moments of my day in gratitude sure helps other good stuff kick in! Then when I greet myself in the bathroom mirror (not a pretty sight, haha!) I say to myself “Hey, I LOVE you! Now pass this on!” Whatever may happen in my day I feel I can handle it because it had such a lovely beginning.
Hugs
suZen
SuZen, as I said to Barbara too, isn’t it great to see others like you. It makes such a difference to share and feel encouraged, when hearing hwo we all deal in our own way with all this.
I am so grateful to have come out of that mumbo-jumbo muddle too. Man, what a waste of space that was!
I love your routine and I totally can see that it will make a difference. And I am sure you look beautiful in the bathroom, it depends with what glasses you are looking.
Big hug back my friend, Wilma
Dearest Wilma, I have been to your site probably half a dozen times this last week. And yet today is the fist time I could slow down enough to leave the kind comment that is my heart, the only kind of comment I can leave with you. There are a few people who I just want to sit still and sink down into who they REALLY are, and the force of them go into me. You are definitely one of those people.
I have been thinking about you a lot lately. I was telling my husband about you and what a singularly remarkable woman you are. When I am not here taking in your gut-level wisdom, I feel I am missing out. Not because I feel I HAVE to be here, and not because you write about things that are new to me, but because you write about things that are FAMILIAR to me, things that reside in my own heart, things that call out to be met by similar hearts.
You are a singular experience, one I relate to so strongly that…and I know this may sound hokey… I always feel as if I already know you. My heart jumps every time I see you on my blog or Robb’s or someone elses. Do you know why?? Because your energy is literally palpable right through the page. Your words are not written to impress; they are written from the passion and truth in your heart. That is what makes them and you special. You are not trying to “BE” something, you are just being YOU.
Your words here and in every thing you express confirm for me not only what is true for me and best for me, but what IS me.
I feel great comfort in the compassionate way you are with yourself and others. I love to be kind and loving to myself as well. I’ve noticed that when I am this way, those around me seem to stand up and take notice AND have more respect for me.
But all that aside, it is just deeply soothing to love one’s self. The forgiveness and compassion that flood me when I am this way with myself are like the most nurturing parent. It’s a feeling so sweet that it is unlike any I’ve ever known. I think when we can forgive, be kind to and love ourselves we let all the love and healing of the Universe into us.
As you know, I am currently trying to set new habits in terms of protecting my space and giving myself quiet time, away from the 24/7 computer work related to my book. If i don’t take this time I don’t sleep, I feel wounded from all the hungry pull that can come at us all day long on the computer. I try NOT to multitask anymore. I don’t worry when I can’t return phone calls and emails that come in by the dozens. I am even trying to accept that I can’t always answer all 30 – 40 comments that come in on my blog posts. That was one of the most distressing, but I am learning to let go and embrace that as well.
I was very stressed from a long long day of work when I came here, and leave with tears in my eyes, tears because I feel a great peace. You really are something so amazing Wilma. I am glad you are here. Love, Robin
PS In fact I am going to shut off my computer now and end my day with a strong sense of myself and a strong sense of peace and love. Thank you beautiful Wilma.
Robyn, you open heart. I know, connecting from the heart is beyond the words the mind can find and it is not the mind’s domain anyway. However I must say you did a pretty good job letting the words from the heart uncensored appear here
, you are a well of love.
I hear you and I am related and known to you as you are to me and it has to have no reason why or how. We just do!
I love that you are strong in keeping your space and protecting yourself from the bombardment coming out off your computer.
I know you can do it and your friends will accept that as you will be the better for it and that is what we want for you.
We do not have to all of you all the time, we can harvest your love that you sew.
You go on looking after yourself and a BIG hug for you, my wellspring of love, Wilma
Wilma, Like others above, I think asking for help has been a big learning curve for me. That and taking on too much responsibility for others. I love your concept of sponsorship here, especially in relationship, in that regard.
Hi Lisa
Yes, we have taken some funny things on board during our lives AND I am so pleased we are getting wizened up.
I loved your chakra post, that is looking after myself as well.
So Lisa, I am so pleased to have you also on the same page, let’s strengthen basecamp for everybody’s sake.
Love Wilma
Hi Wilma,
I just had to come back and check out your comments to everyone. I love that you take such loving care and write at length to each one of us.
I’ve tried to get more wordy in my comments and it’s difficult. I’m the straight to the point kind of gal. Sometimes I think it appears that I’m not taking the time and it’s not the case. I just say what I need to say and then my thoughts stop.
I’m wondering if you’ll do me a favor and look at my comments and see what kind of feel you get. When ever you have time that is!
Thanks Tess
PS Why can’t you be my neighbor!
@ TESS – The Bold Life. I laughed out loud when you asked Wilma, “Why can’t you be my neighbor?” Tess, I’ve thought that same thing about Wilma many times.
Also I noted your question to Wilma about your responses on your blog. I could learn a lot from you as I leave horrendously long comments, which is okay if I have the time and it has encouraged others on my blog to really open up and share. But as my work schedule grows more intense I am going to have to learn to still leave comments from my heart and yet much shorter comments.
I looked on your site again just now (I was there earlier) and found your responses to people wonderful. They are short and yet have a strong sense of you, and are filled with love, kindness and openness. I thought you did an excellent job. Hugs, Robin
Hi Tess and Robin. Well why do we not declare to be virtual neighbors! Imagine the fun we will have.
Tess, I will have a look at your comments however I think we are who we are on our blog as we are in real life. As you say, it is very clear you are a bold woman and a straight talker and that is who you are.
Some women are more wordy than others and in teh end I agree with Robin, it is not the length that counts but the spirit in which teh comment is written. Some neighbors come in, do not say much but DO things and their presence shows in different ways than women who come in and talk their head off.
However as I said I will have a look and get the feel. Love Wilma
BTW how is the painting going? Are you enjoying yourself on your own?
Hey Robin, you are so generous, you cannot help yourself but share all you’ve got in your exhubriant, no barrs hold way and that is who YOU are.
Sometimes it is easier to go for it than hold back and try to say things in 3 words when you just want to go for it.
It all comes down to accept who you are and be love in action AND excert the right to do what feels good for YOU.
We cannot go wrong there.
Imagine the fun we can have as neigbors by dropping in on each other like we do here.
Thanks Robin for chiming in, as always you contribute hugely. Hugs Wilma.