Comments on: No matter what I have been told, I am NOT selfish, I AM base camp. http://www.wilmasblog.com/leverage/2009/08/31/no-matter-what-i-have-been-told-i-am-not-selfish-i-am-base-camp/ Doing things Differently Sun, 15 Jan 2012 00:44:46 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.5 hourly 1 By: Thank You for Being My Friend | The Bold Life http://www.wilmasblog.com/leverage/2009/08/31/no-matter-what-i-have-been-told-i-am-not-selfish-i-am-base-camp/#comment-6901 Thank You for Being My Friend | The Bold Life Thu, 19 Nov 2009 04:00:49 +0000 http://www.wilmasblog.com/?p=2481#comment-6901 [...] from Wilmas Blog  is co-founder of WomenLikeMe, an online learning program which encourages women to [...] [...] from Wilmas Blog  is co-founder of WomenLikeMe, an online learning program which encourages women to [...]

]]> By: Wilma http://www.wilmasblog.com/leverage/2009/08/31/no-matter-what-i-have-been-told-i-am-not-selfish-i-am-base-camp/#comment-5975 Wilma Thu, 03 Sep 2009 21:25:19 +0000 http://www.wilmasblog.com/?p=2481#comment-5975 Oh Robin, you cause me goose pimples, to laugh out loud and you make my heart sing with this. We are NOT here to bow to false friendships, to illusions that keeps us away from our greatness, our dreams and stop us having our quiet time in nature to connect with Source. There is a lot of false loyalty based on fear to be alone. The funny thing is, false loyalty is just that and never really connects or gives what we seek. So no loss there, you will be replaced by a drop of a hat, those friends never really saw YOU anyway, all they wanted was a body. It Is NOT to make them wrong, that is where they are at, but you have no business to support their game, you were in the wrong game too. Now you are going to play with people who want to play the same game, agree to the same rules and going for the same outcome. You champ to take that stand!!! I am starting to realize all this too and guess what, it means being in integrity and becoming whole and complete so that we can resource ourselves to complete our expedition here on earth in the best possible way. Well prepared in the most authentic and thorough way we can muster. Robin, I hear you and I too love, simply adore the fact that we are so aligned. I absolutely share your delight, my friend. Love Wilma Oh Robin, you cause me goose pimples, to laugh out loud and you make my heart sing with this. We are NOT here to bow to false friendships, to illusions that keeps us away from our greatness, our dreams and stop us having our quiet time in nature to connect with Source. There is a lot of false loyalty based on fear to be alone. The funny thing is, false loyalty is just that and never really connects or gives what we seek. So no loss there, you will be replaced by a drop of a hat, those friends never really saw YOU anyway, all they wanted was a body.
It Is NOT to make them wrong, that is where they are at, but you have no business to support their game, you were in the wrong game too. Now you are going to play with people who want to play the same game, agree to the same rules and going for the same outcome. You champ to take that stand!!!
I am starting to realize all this too and guess what, it means being in integrity and becoming whole and complete so that we can resource ourselves to complete our expedition here on earth in the best possible way. Well prepared in the most authentic and thorough way we can muster.
Robin, I hear you and I too love, simply adore the fact that we are so aligned. I absolutely share your delight, my friend.
Love Wilma

]]> By: Wilma http://www.wilmasblog.com/leverage/2009/08/31/no-matter-what-i-have-been-told-i-am-not-selfish-i-am-base-camp/#comment-5974 Wilma Thu, 03 Sep 2009 21:05:07 +0000 http://www.wilmasblog.com/?p=2481#comment-5974 Hi Hilary, yeah the ability to discern who to listen to and what to belief is a great skill to develop, for me the questions have been to find out that I needed that skill and then HOW to get it . . . however as you, I am on my way and the difference is makes is amazing. Of course there are times when base camp is busy with doing what base camp has to do, Ann-Marie with her little baby and you with your mother. Those are times when you can see how well equiped and resourced base camp really is. For me it was recognizing the times when base camp is NOT busy and making sure that base camp is replenishing itself then. I am so pleased that you can see your limits and can say 'No' to others in time when your mother needs you more. It is amazing to see how we all struggle with this one way or another, this all helps me too, we are not alone in this and isn't it great how we all share so we all can get a better handle on this. Yeah for all of us here and thank for your sharing too, Hilary. Lots of love to you, great base camp that you are. Hi Hilary, yeah the ability to discern who to listen to and what to belief is a great skill to develop, for me the questions have been to find out that I needed that skill and then HOW to get it . . . however as you, I am on my way and the difference is makes is amazing.
Of course there are times when base camp is busy with doing what base camp has to do, Ann-Marie with her little baby and you with your mother. Those are times when you can see how well equiped and resourced base camp really is. For me it was recognizing the times when base camp is NOT busy and making sure that base camp is replenishing itself then.
I am so pleased that you can see your limits and can say ‘No’ to others in time when your mother needs you more.
It is amazing to see how we all struggle with this one way or another, this all helps me too, we are not alone in this and isn’t it great how we all share so we all can get a better handle on this.
Yeah for all of us here and thank for your sharing too, Hilary.
Lots of love to you, great base camp that you are.

]]> By: Robin Easton http://www.wilmasblog.com/leverage/2009/08/31/no-matter-what-i-have-been-told-i-am-not-selfish-i-am-base-camp/#comment-5973 Robin Easton Thu, 03 Sep 2009 16:42:25 +0000 http://www.wilmasblog.com/?p=2481#comment-5973 Dearest Wilma, This is SO powerful. Especially for women who are taught that they must be all thing to all people...and have no "right" to say "NO". No I won't. No I can't. No I don't want to. This last year I HAD to finally establish a "base camp" Or I knew I would not make it through this whole book project, through the rest of my life. My husband is great at supporting me doing this, is very supportive in all aspects of my life. So I am very blessed there. But it was my friends who I had always been there for at the drop of hat to spend hours on the phone listening, counseling and talking through crisis, who did not understand my need to pull back. I love them all dearly but I could no longer give in the way that I had, that they were used to me giving. I've may have lost friends when I pulled back. But to keep being there for them meant that I would be up past midnight catching up on the work I'd not been able to do through the day due to the phone time. I just couldn't do it any more. I don't even enjoy hours and hours of phone time. I've so far avoided a cell and now screen all calls. I have to because I work at home. I sent all my best friends a long letter telling them why I couldn't be there anymore in the way that I had been and that I still love them deeply. Some understand and others don't and take it more personally, but I just cannot be ALL things to all people. I am in the midst of getting my book out (about my life when I younger in the Australian rainforest), keeping my blog and social networks going, working on my second book, etc, which is (for me and my husband) a big dream. I'm 55, a late bloomer :)) and I wanted to work at something I really enjoyed: writing and speaking. My husband is a professor and LOVES teaching and he also wanted me to have the chance to work at something I love as much as he loves teaching. But it was a big shift, massively steep learning curve as I am not technically inclined and knew nothing about computers, internet, web "stuff". I did all my own web site, blog, etc. without knowing a thing about it. Learned to write a book proposal, get endorsements, find a wonderful agent, and so forth. It all takes time, deep long term commitment to build up a platform for my book, which first-time authors pretty much need to just to get a good publisher. But it was the first time in my life that I said: "No more. Where am I in this? What do I want. I have to stop! I can't do all this. I don't want to spend hours on the phone. I don't like it. I'd rather go for a walk in the woods to give my weary brain a break form the computer. I'd rather be LIVING my life and dreams full on. I told my myself that I had to make a choice as my life would not last forever. I'm mid-life (I see myself living to 100 or more) :) And I can create a great dream here, but I am going to have start taking time for ME, I am going to have build a solid base camp. I still falter at times and over extend but each faltering I learn to grow and create a more solid base camp. Because if I don't I will never fulfill my dreams. I will have no time to spend with my husband. No time for creative expression. No time to garden or be "with" Nature. No time for a hot bath once in awhile. No time to learn Spanish and refresh my French. No time to stop the chaos, sit under a tree and do nothing. No time to REALLY take a CLOSE look at where I am headed. You've no idea how much this post means to me or your brave choice to build a solid base camp. I love you Wilma for the truly dynamic, inspiring, realistic, honest, compassionate, wise, gutsy, brave woman you TRULY ARE. I really have found a kindred spirit. Love, Robin Thank you SO much. Dearest Wilma,

This is SO powerful. Especially for women who are taught that they must be all thing to all people…and have no “right” to say “NO”. No I won’t. No I can’t. No I don’t want to.

This last year I HAD to finally establish a “base camp” Or I knew I would not make it through this whole book project, through the rest of my life. My husband is great at supporting me doing this, is very supportive in all aspects of my life. So I am very blessed there. But it was my friends who I had always been there for at the drop of hat to spend hours on the phone listening, counseling and talking through crisis, who did not understand my need to pull back. I love them all dearly but I could no longer give in the way that I had, that they were used to me giving. I’ve may have lost friends when I pulled back. But to keep being there for them meant that I would be up past midnight catching up on the work I’d not been able to do through the day due to the phone time. I just couldn’t do it any more. I don’t even enjoy hours and hours of phone time. I’ve so far avoided a cell and now screen all calls. I have to because I work at home.

I sent all my best friends a long letter telling them why I couldn’t be there anymore in the way that I had been and that I still love them deeply. Some understand and others don’t and take it more personally, but I just cannot be ALL things to all people.

I am in the midst of getting my book out (about my life when I younger in the Australian rainforest), keeping my blog and social networks going, working on my second book, etc, which is (for me and my husband) a big dream. I’m 55, a late bloomer :) ) and I wanted to work at something I really enjoyed: writing and speaking. My husband is a professor and LOVES teaching and he also wanted me to have the chance to work at something I love as much as he loves teaching.

But it was a big shift, massively steep learning curve as I am not technically inclined and knew nothing about computers, internet, web “stuff”. I did all my own web site, blog, etc. without knowing a thing about it. Learned to write a book proposal, get endorsements, find a wonderful agent, and so forth. It all takes time, deep long term commitment to build up a platform for my book, which first-time authors pretty much need to just to get a good publisher.

But it was the first time in my life that I said: “No more. Where am I in this? What do I want. I have to stop! I can’t do all this. I don’t want to spend hours on the phone. I don’t like it. I’d rather go for a walk in the woods to give my weary brain a break form the computer. I’d rather be LIVING my life and dreams full on. I told my myself that I had to make a choice as my life would not last forever. I’m mid-life (I see myself living to 100 or more) :) And I can create a great dream here, but I am going to have start taking time for ME, I am going to have build a solid base camp.

I still falter at times and over extend but each faltering I learn to grow and create a more solid base camp. Because if I don’t I will never fulfill my dreams. I will have no time to spend with my husband. No time for creative expression. No time to garden or be “with” Nature. No time for a hot bath once in awhile. No time to learn Spanish and refresh my French. No time to stop the chaos, sit under a tree and do nothing. No time to REALLY take a CLOSE look at where I am headed.

You’ve no idea how much this post means to me or your brave choice to build a solid base camp. I love you Wilma for the truly dynamic, inspiring, realistic, honest, compassionate, wise, gutsy, brave woman you TRULY ARE. I really have found a kindred spirit.

Love,
Robin
Thank you SO much.

]]> By: Hilary http://www.wilmasblog.com/leverage/2009/08/31/no-matter-what-i-have-been-told-i-am-not-selfish-i-am-base-camp/#comment-5968 Hilary Thu, 03 Sep 2009 07:36:53 +0000 http://www.wilmasblog.com/?p=2481#comment-5968 Hi Wilma .. thanks .. it's interesting what others think and how they tell us what they'd do etc etc .. but if we can just sort our own lives out - life is fine .. others have their priorities and levels and they can't help, or respond, or realise where we're at .. that's their problem, not ours. I'm learning .. and I do put me first I have to at times and say No - but over and above that I do what I can for everyone - especially my mother. Thanks - base camp .. without the camper van or breakfast in bed! Pity!! Camping = just great .. Hilary Melton-Butcher Positive Letters Inspirational Stories Hi Wilma .. thanks .. it’s interesting what others think and how they tell us what they’d do etc etc .. but if we can just sort our own lives out – life is fine .. others have their priorities and levels and they can’t help, or respond, or realise where we’re at .. that’s their problem, not ours.

I’m learning .. and I do put me first I have to at times and say No – but over and above that I do what I can for everyone – especially my mother.

Thanks – base camp .. without the camper van or breakfast in bed! Pity!! Camping = just great ..

Hilary Melton-Butcher
Positive Letters Inspirational Stories

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