My daughter, my heart and that little voice of mine.

Posted on August 24th, 2009 by Wilma (11 Responses)
My corporate daughter wants a dose of her Mom.

She asked me to come visit her for a long weekend and then gave me an extensive list of what home cooked meals she wanted me to bring along.

However after placing her food order she did stress that it was not all about filling up her empty freezer.

I didn’t have to bring anything with me; just seeing me was really what she wanted.

Oh, how that made my heart melt.

Another special time together, Halong Bay, Vietnam.

Another special time together, Halong Bay, Vietnam.

Just hearing ”Mom, I want to see you” made my heart leap up in the air and I immediately started to dream up what fun we could have.
Special mother/daughter times are so precious.

So after the phone call I drifted off and began planning. I could see us living it up in a hotel instead of staying in her small flat which she shares with 2 others.
I imagined us roaming the city and when tired, we’d leisurely walk a few steps to our hotel room for a little rest.
I dreamed of us slowly waking up and having great morning chats in bed in the privacy of our room, undisturbed.
I could see us potter around in our own little world and then stroll down the road for breakfast  and our caffeine fix.
And of course I could hear her shrieks of delight when I handed over all the frozen meals I would bring.

While this movie of us chatting, shopping, smiling at each other and obviously enjoying our time together played out in my head, I could feel a wave of love rising up within me.
These thoughts of what was possible were totally setting my heart on fire until . . . .

. . . out of left field who but Little Voice appeared with the biggest ”BUTS” ever.

BUT taking 4 days off right now is a lot.
Ann-Marie is going to Ireland soon and you are no way as organized as you should be.
Why stay in a hotel when you can stay in her flat and save money; all these costs add up quickly when you take the airfares and everything else you are planning to do into account.
You should really be thinking this through, you know.
All this “blah blah blah” just went on and on and would not stop!

Talk about sinking like a lead balloon. In seconds I’d come back down to earth with a big thud.
All joy and elation gone. All that was left was a big muddle of should I or shouldn’t I, can I or can’t I, am I irresponsible or not?
Oh, what was happening to our dream weekend?

Then reading the text on this week’s Topic ‘Who Am I’ had me refocus and I got to see what was going on for me.

Within you there is a dimension you can call the ‘Quiet One’ or ‘Heart Self’ as opposed to your ‘Little Voice’  or the ‘Conscious Mind’ which is the outspoken, loud one.
The mind has an extra ordinary ability to articulate itself, but can only analyze like a computer.
The heart has an extra ordinary ability to see possibilities, but cannot articulate itself so eloquently and therefore has a harder job to make itself heard and hold its ground.
(WomenLikeMe Program on Who am I)

Well, that said it all, didn’t it?
No wonder I came down with a thud.
All that was going on was my ‘Little Voice’ busily doing what it always does, talking right over the top of my heart, ignoring its desires.
As usual my less articulated heart, the ‘Quiet One’ had no show of getting a word in edgewise and as usual ended up feeling hurt and misunderstood.
And I was left in the middle and in a muddle.

So, now knowing this, I quickly said to myself;
“Quiet One . . . go and hold your ground, I know you can do it.
Just see the ‘Little Voice’ for what it is, be strong, keep our dream.
Go heart, go.
We will harvest another one of those special times together, my daughter and I, we will!”

11 Comments to “My daughter, my heart and that little voice of mine.”

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  1. That’s fantastic! I was right there with you as you drifted off into the fantasy sequence (I do that, too), and then crashed with a thud as the inner critic jumped in to share all the reasons why the fantasy wouldn’t work.

    And what a lovely way to describe how our hearts work… A bit more meek and mild, but big dreamers. Our minds, the computers, wouldn’t dare to dream so big but my gosh they’re loud.

    Thank you for this brilliant metaphor, which I’ll carry with me from now on.
    Most of all, enjoy time with your daughter!

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  2. Wilma says:

    Hi Megan. I just returned and had the most amazing time with my daughter. And yes, it has been quite a revelation for me that the heart has actually been reduced to a mere whisper because of the loud mouth mind. However now I know I am working on reversing the trend. My heart loves it that your heart expresses its agreement here, thank you for that.

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  3. So happy to see in your comment that you went, and that you and your daughter had this special time. I actually loved the fact that she asked your for her favorite meals – these little physical things we do for our kids create a sense of comfort and love, and that she knew she needed that, and that you could provide it, and that you both followed your heart and did it, is beautiful.

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  4. Hi Wilma,
    What a heartwarming post. While reading your post..and your little fantasy of spending that lovely time with your daughter..i couldn’t help but think of my mum. Mum and i have a very good relationship..we are more friends than mother and daughter. We talk about everything…But, of lately for me, after being married and having a baby …i haven’t really been able to spend as much time with her. Responsibilities and all weigh me down. Your fantasy weekend is a superb idea…am glad you went for it.
    I am leaving tomorrow too, to spend a few days with my mum.
    Lots of love
    Zeenat.

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  5. Wilma says:

    Hi LIsa. It is such a lovely thing to do as a mum, to make food and that she actually wanted to receive it was marvelous. We indeed had such a great time together. Sometimes we stand there with our hands full of gifts and they will not be received, I am so happy that that was not the case.

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  6. Wilma says:

    Hi Zeenat.
    How absolutely wonderful that you are taking time out with your mum. I know, life can be busy, but gathering these moments and then have them warm your heart every time you think of them is so priceless. My mum has been dead now for 17 years but what I remember are these special moments, so you go and create moments that you can harvest later on.
    Hugs, Wilma

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  7. Caity says:

    That must have been such a great thing to hear. I am currently on the other side of the spectrum. I just moved out of my mother’s home and I invited her over to my apartment for the first time a few weeks ago and cooked for her. It was a special thing.

    I wanted to stop by and thank you for the reply you left to me on Tess’s blog about New Zealand. My husband is from New Zealand and we are planning to move back there and it is nice to hear someone else say that moving there was the best choice they ever made. Thank you so much. It is very encouraging.

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  8. annmarie says:

    Go Wilma. It was so wonderful to collect you from the airport having spent the weekend with your daughter. You looked so happy, just bursting with joy from the great time you had with her. I noticed that there was no Little Voice lurking around in our conversation, however love was very present. Wilma you are love in action personified.
    I too am looking forward to spending time with my Mum when I go to Ireland in two weeks time and this post keeps me grounded to always come from love while I’m with her. Thanks for that buddy. Hugs Ann-Marie

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  9. wilma ham says:

    Hi Caity. How fun to cook for your mother and have the roles reversed. I am sure she must have felt the love you expressed that way. Ann-Marie also married a Kiwi and she too is very happy here. So we are all strangers together in this wonderful country. Good luck with your move, love Wilma.

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  10. Sharmila says:

    This is such a beautiful inspiring post, Wilma! I love this site I stumbled upon ;) I was so touched by this blog! I never thought of this before: the quiet/heart self BEAUTIFULLY expressed!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    So, now knowing this, I quickly said to myself;
    “Quiet One . . . go and hold your ground, I know you can do it.
    Just see the ‘Little Voice’ for what it is, be strong, keep our dream.
    Go heart, go.
    We will harvest another one of those special times together, my daughter and I, we will!”
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    I could totally relate to what you shared about possibilities and then they get squished easily, by ourself through the noisy thoughts or by another individual who brings fear to our attention rather than our natural instinct to trust in what we know to be truth.
    (I remember the other day I was taking a bad situation really well, until another person just blew off the gates, and I was like ‘what?!’ this is my situation and I should be mad and I’m taking it well, and you’re mad I’m taking it well?! i had to laugh, it was really bizarre!)
    Aww…but, the heart self is our life-saver though! I wouldn’t want it any other way! ;)

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  11. Wilma says:

    Hi Sharmila
    Isn’t it interesting how we miss out of a lot of things if we are not mindful of who is speaking here.
    And as you so rightly points out, we have to watch that in AND outside of ourselves.
    I loved your comment and the sharing of your own experience.
    Love Wilma

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