Are you new here? This explains the blog
RSS
Prefer posts delivered to your inbox? Just pop your email address in below and click 'GO'.
Recent Posts
- Wilma on Our out-of-integrity world
- Me and out-of-integrity family.
- Wilma on Stop the Interruptions!
- Interrupted thinking creates half-baked me.
- Wilma on Fear of Losing Love
- My fearful pursuit of love and its pathetic results.
- Wilma on Love-in-Action
- Love is the real Father Christmas.
- Wilma on setting boundaries will give us ‘enough’
- When is ‘enough’ enough?
- Ann-Marie on ‘I don’t know’ so I say STOP
- Learning from experience to do things differently.
- Ann-Marie on Do we Learn from our Experiences?
- Learning to observe my Little Voice, my ego.
- Ann-Marie on The Third Person in our Relationships
Topic related blogs:
Where I am coming from
Categories
Further Reading
Search this site
Bullying thoughts, who would have thought . . .
|
I am fascinated by thoughts.
Sure why wouldn’t I be; they can make or break my world. If people keep saying that it’s their thoughts that determine how they feel then I’d better pay close attention here. Keeping an eye on their contribution to me, so to speak. Since I’ve been paying attention to them I must say that I am NOT impressed. |
 Bullying water, or just the tide coming in fast. |
I particularly noticed that I have a lot of nasty thoughts about me popping up in my head.
They come out of nowhere, uninvited, making a lot of noise and they certainly do not contribute very much.
Instead they do the opposite; they disturb, they distract and they deceive.
They are like bullies; unpleasant and uncomfortable.
One minute I am working on my computer minding my own business and the next I am being majorly put down for not having emailed a friend as promised.
Where did THAT come from?
Of course this question won’t get me very far.
I don’t know the answer.
But I DO know a better question; can I control these down putting, uncomfortable outbursts?
Because these kind of bullying thoughts are not on.
Why should I put up with them?
But when I mentioned controlling a woman on BlogHer asked me the following;
How would you control thoughts without controlling them so much that you lose daydreams or initiative or drive – all of those things that help you get stuff done and make stuff happen?
Are we really at their mercy?
Shouldn’t it be the other way around?
And would controlling our thoughts mean putting a stop to thoughts altogether?
I don’t believe that control means drugging every thought into oblivion.
I am talking about control that actually serves me and not the kind that controls by simply killing the lot; I am not talking agriculture here.
I think I’ll repeat that . . .
Thoughts that don’t contribute in my opinion have no business to be there, even if they are my own.
Now digest that, banning my own thoughts.
So when I have thoughts that call me names or say I’m not good enough nor witty enough, thoughts that are not contributing but leaving me feeling battered and bruised, I totally BAN those.
Those unwanted thoughts; I treat them like the clothes I don’t wear anymore, those clothes that take up precious space in my wardrobe.
I remove them, ruthlessly.
Now nobody would object that I throw these clothes out, would they?
But one might say, you could keep them just in case.
Wouldn’t those thoughts keep you humble, grounded.
Surely they’d prevent you from being all high and mighty about yourself?
Humm, somehow I don’t think it works that way.
Just as bullies don’t contribute and keep me humble, bullying thoughts don’t do that either.
Get rid of them is all I can say.
Related Posts
13 Comments to “Bullying thoughts, who would have thought . . .”
Leave a reply
Subscribe to comments with RSS or TrackBack to 'Bullying thoughts, who would have thought . . .'.
This was a very interesting read!
I think it could prove quite difficult to control the thoughts we have, but it is certainly useful to become aware of the kind of things you’re telling yourself on a regular basis. Thanks for making me think!!
@Melanie. You are absolutely right that keeping your thoughts in line is difficult and you can see how diificult it is when you look how they get us into trouble. If it weren”t for our sabotaging thoughts we would all be easily persuaded to do the healthy things you recommend on your website http://www.dietriffic.com/
I love how I am not alone on this journey!
My challenge lies not so much with the actual words buzzing around in My head (years of saying a mantra helped) but with the emotional reactions / feelings that are created as if the thoughts were there. I obviously only did one half of the job. No one told me to work on releasing the negative feelings associated with the judgements and opinions. To connect and create a relationship with positive feelings….
It is a huge challenge for me as I can see that there are so many ’stories’ (most of them nonsense) that are simply lying there waiting for me to prove them right.
Sorry not sure that I am explaining myself very clearly…it is a focus for me to somehow connect with the ‘real’ part of me and not give energy to all the background stories! It is seeing where I have a charge or reaction to something that I get to be aware that there is a nonsense story hiding away. Hope this isn’t going too far off the topic, but it opened a door for me.
Thanks for the comments Wilma..
Hi Mary. I love that you bring up feelings and emotions as bullies and how releasing those too is the next step. Superb observation.
What I recently got to see is that our heart is confused because it means so well but get knocked back all the time. Your mind cannot cope with a confused heart that wants but can’t. The poor mind starts thinking “what the heck is this all about?” and starts having stories and judgment to make sense of it all.
I think you are spot on when you say;
“it is a focus for me to somehow connect with the ‘real’ part of me and not give energy to all the background stories”.
Then you give your heart breathing space and you focus on love again and try as best as you can to ignore all the confusion the world you live in is causing it.
Mary, you are a champ to be able to observe yourself so well.
Interesting timing! An email just popped into my inbox about “The Pursuit Of Happiness ” by David Pond Where he talks about ‘Cultivating a strong emotional body’ might have a read!
I think our heart is battered and bruised, more than we know and as our mind is very much reliant on our heart for guidance, our mind is giving us grief and so do our confused emotions.
Our Garden of Edens are retreats to heal our hearts and mine does a beautiful job of it.
Our mind eh, the only computer in the world that does not come with an instruction manual.
Bringing this topic into full view for everyone to discuss is brilliant. Finally, we can begin to change the “don’t know what we don’t know” into “awareness” first and foremost.
Us leverage graduates (with the help of Wilma’s blog) are truly blessed human beings because we can now notice these bullying thoughts and stop them dead in their tracks.
Have you seen the millions of people out there still stuck in this place with no distinctions? How blessed we are. And we can all identify too as I know I was once in this place, frightened and thinking “its just the way I am.” A complete and utter story.
Do you do all your own writing? Or do you outsource some of it? I’m looking for some similar content for my blog! These are great posts!
@larry. Thank you for your comment. I do all my own writing and as I am not possessive of my thoughts, you are free to use any post on your blog.
@Blair. Why, thank you kindly. And yes, the mind comes without a manual and maybe that is a good thing as manuals are usually badly written and nobody reads them anyway.
I too love the fact that I have distinctions and explanations that give me a chance to make sense of things and that I am aware that there is still a lot I don’t know I don’t know.
At least it makes it possible to go into the unknown not knowing and discover a new path.
Great post – it’s good to know self-bullying is normal (I don’t say healthy; just that so many of us do it).
Didn’t notice any comments mentioning meditation, a good way to “control” thoughts is to not have any – just keep bringing focus back to breath (that act IS meditation). No matter how many times it feels like a waste of time (bring attention back to breath), and the next day always flows more smoothly.
Releasing suppressed issues will happen spontaneously if you practice Kundalini yoga. You might think of something, burst into tears for 90 seconds; but that issue is over and GONE. (Some people don’t like this experience because it can catch you off guard – usually you can hold it in until you get to the ladies room or pull off the road).
Thanks Joann. Unforunately most normal things are not healthy yet, however I think a lot of us are working on making healthy normal. I do agree that breathing is a good way to distract thoughts, thanks for bringing that up.
And wouldn’t it be lovely when bursting into tears is recognized as being normal and healthy too.
I’ve been looking for this very subject for awhile now – no one has content just like this. Really glad I found this site. Are you willing to be a guest blogger on my site? I’ll email you with some details if you want.