Audacity, constraints and life how it could be.

How do some people find their way so quickly in a new phenomenon such as blogging, online marketing or cyberspace in general?

While I carefully move around one step at the time, trying to make sense of it all and thinking more than twice before acting, it is fascinating to see the ones who have the audacity to act in this new environment.

It was a post on one of my stomping grounds in cyberspace called Problogger written by Skellie that addressed audacity and how it helps successful bloggers to do what they do, that got my attention.

It might be an omen that I didn’t really understand the meaning of the word ‘audacity’.
Luckily she described the word and defined it as;

1. Fearless daring; intrepidity.
2. Bold or insolent heedlessness of restraints, as of those imposed by prudence, propriety, or convention.

So successful bloggers act with audacity, with boldness and overcome constraints and restraints that most other mortals are stopped by.
Skellie goes on to explain that to act with audacity meant that when they set out in cyberspace they dared to contact the already successful people and asked them questions or just boldly introduced themselves.
The fact that they are not stopped by “that is not the done thing” makes them perfect pioneers for this new world and its infinite opportunities.
In short they just have the guts to do what you and I don’t.
In short they haven’t let society beat their enthusiastic go-getting out of them, because most societies react violently to the bad side of audacity only.

Mostly society has seen audacity as behavior outside the norm and considered it bad.
You just have to look at how children who still act with audacity are getting treated, to know that boldness is not condoned by society.

So all that teaching of good manners has resulted in lots of limiting constraints and Skellie does a good job of listing some of them;

• Don’t ask for more than is offered to you
• Don’t try to talk with people who are better known or higher status than you are
• Don’t admit failings and mistakes
• Don’t celebrate success publicly
• Don’t try things that could fail badly
• Don’t change your mind once it has been made up
• Don’t give up, no matter whether circumstances and goals change
• Don’t question what everybody else does
• Don’t ask others for help (just think about how often we begin such a request with a pre-emptive apology)

So, where does that leave us, people who lack audacity.
We, who live by the ‘that is not done’ credos.
How are our chances to become an entrepreneur extra ordinair or even, what are our chances to fulfill our dreams or have a fantastic life, with our audacity being moderated to zero.

We are doomed to mediocrity, to achieve the norm, to fail in uncharted territory such as cyberspace.

OUCH, that doesn’t look good and I can see how the norm has been drummed into me, especially because I wanted to be a good girl.
Didn’t I see in front of my very eyes, the audacious children getting into trouble?

And now once again I have to turn my world upside down and start doing the very things I have been taught NOT to.

Isn’t it ironic that those audacious children who kept their audaciousness are now as adults heralded as heroes.
Isn’t it ironic how the tables have turned; that they are having a hard time teaching and seeing us squirming to get out of our mediocrity.

It is interesting to look at the teachers of these times and see if they indeed are audacious or not.

I definitely know that my John Channings is, he had me cringing on many, many occasions and crying out ; “JOHN, you can’t do/say that.”
However as a result of his boldness I am part of some extraordinary adventures, adventures which I could not have dreamed off.

My dreams wouldn’t have been so audacious;
to live in the country, design and build a woman friendly sailing yacht, manifest an online learning organization and take time off to go sea kayaking.

I know however -and this blogpost is a testimony of this-, that he had to work hard in getting me along and overcoming my constraints.

If you dare to have a good look you can see how much we are holding ourselves back and how most of the time we don’t even notice we can do so much more.

Once I got thinking about audacity, it is wonderful to watch children and how they are going for it.
Most children talk to everyone, touch everything and make sure they let the parents know what they want.
They can be so open and honest and so delightfully full of life.

I see it in John as he settles into this new house.
We are only staying here for a year, but he doesn’t care.
He goes for it and totally embraces the whole property, building a track to the swimming hole in the river, making a huge vegetable garden; totally making the most of it.
It is a delight to see and very inspiring and of course he has good times in his life and great adventures.

I just take a few of the above constraints to see what needs to change in how we do things.

• Don’t ask for more than is offered to you?!
  Forget that! Go for as much as you can and let the other person tell you “No more”.
  That doesn’t mean you are greedy.
  I mean that you don’t limit yourself to what you can think you get which is probably not much. You let the other person call the shots and take a ‘no’ gracefully without making it a drama.
• Don’t try to talk with people who are better known or higher status than you are?!
  Why? Most of the time they started out where you were and are usually very happy to help IF you show some oomph and sense of direction.
• Don’t admit failings and mistakes?!
  Well, if you are not prepared to make mistakes, how will you ever learn to do new things? Not making mistakes is all about ‘looking good’, but the one who dares and fails and keeps getting back on the horse is going to be the winner in the end.
• Don’t change your mind once it has been made up?!
  This is a classic one that gets most of us. We don’t want to look fickle, we want to be steadfast. The big thing is actually to call it quits when you see it ain’t going to work out. This type of giving up has nothing to do with weak or having no stamina. It is called common sense and daring to think for yourself.
• Don’t question what everybody else does?!
  Why would you not think for yourself and allow yourself to disagree? Learning is NOT copying, but taking in information, experiment with it and if it suits adopt it and it not adapt it or ignore it. So called experts are also human and make it up as they go.
• Don’t ask others for help (just think about how often we begin such a request with a pre-emptive apology)?!
  This is of course a classic as well. We are so taught to do it ourselves or not to bother people that we rather waste a lot of time finding things out than going for assistance.

Although it is so easy to write about it and nodding your head saying; “Of course, I can see that, how obvious”, I am still surprised how often I am stopped by a voice that says; “You cannot do that.”

However I am aware and I am getting more daring and although after my daring act I still might think; “What have I done?”, I am getting bolder.

How is this sitting with you?
Does doing, seeing or even hearing about audaciousness or boldness create rioting in your mind?