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Explanation of reality.
Well, you cannot say life is dull when you do things.
Our house is no longer for sale and we are kind of back to square one and looking at our options.
It shows that you can have goals, put plans into action and yet there is no guarantee that things will go as you planned.
The wonderful thing is of course that we don’t have to sell and that there are other options to get to our Garden of Eden.
However having said that, I think we always have options in life as long as we are not too rigidly attached to outcomes (haha, I am learning) and as long as we have friends (haha, I got those).
During this whole exercise I got to see that our perception of reality is fickle and needs to be regarded with lots of caution.
You could say that not selling the house is a tragedy and the doom and gloom news in the media could have really wound me up if I choose to buy into that reality.
However lucky for me the latest theories from people such as Humberto Maturana, Francisco Varela, Victoria Castle, Eckhart Tolle tell me to be careful with how I choose to think about my so called reality.
They explain that reality is not fixed!
And those explanations are giving me my power back.
I don’t have to be a victim of circumstances and it has also shown me the importance of supportive community and people in my life.
Alone I would not have been that confident in choosing my reality.
I would probably stick with the reality the media and most people want me to have.
Without all the lovely people I know sharing their respective knowledge, insights and encouragement I might not have held on to my choice that ‘everything is perfect’ and I am doing fine.
I also got to see that my explanation of reality still is influenced by the people I hang out with.
It has made me think that who we hang out with has more weight than I have given credit.
As a kid you don’t have a lot of choice, but as adults we have – or at least I think we do.
I have been thinking about how we explain our reality and how the people in our lives support us or not.
Here are some questions for you;
- Do you often consciously choose the people you are hanging out with?
- Do you consciously avoid certain people at certain times and do you know why?
- Have you ever consciously chosen another reality and if yes when?
I have unconsciously avoided talking about my Garden of Eden to certain people.
I also know who to ring when I am upset and confused and who can bring me back to a reality I like.
I also have experienced that with certain people I cannot hold my own reality in focus and I find that very upsetting.
4 Comments to “Explanation of reality.”
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Hi Wilma,
One part I found interesting in what you were saying was the bullet points and how you unconsciously avoid talking about your Garden of Eden with certain people. There is one person at work who I discuss all this with at work. That is my friend Sam. We both hold each other accountable and and keep everything alive by sharing. The rest of the team I am careful with how I relate to them and I will not tolerate any poisonous mundane chatter infecting my positive outlook. This doesn’t mean I snob them off, far from it. It takes a lot more energy however to be around those people because you have to observe yourself and that you don’t start dipping into negative meaningless chatter. Sam resonates with me which is a good part of being in the hierarchy Mon to Fri. Its like a gem amongst rocks. I have fewer friends now because of my stand but I have noticed that they are high quality people who also have less friends. That tells me something hehe.
In terms of that word “reality”, Landmark had a huge impact there for me. The shackles came loose for me when I surrendered to the idea that “I have no idea what all this is that I see.” If someone can argue my personal truth then my truth is just another opinion. Its restricting to suddenly decide that life is sorted. We begin to die. I feel myself slipping into this way of thinking sometimes. To wonder is better because your mind wanders more. Creativity flows better. To lay down ground rules in your mind that life is a certain way and everyone else is wrong unless in agreement with you can give birth to arrogance. I grapple with this sometimes. My mind slips back into my own personal hierarchy where I am king and others walk as pawns in MY game. I know I have gone too far when I notice that I am feeling slimy. To a person with no distinctions the ego will deny this feeling. I can’t get away with this though.
Hi Wilma,
Yes! I really find that I hold back in sharing a certain depth of my reality with certain people. Most of the time it is fear as a result of my perception of their ‘listening’ of me – a fear of rejection perhaps.
Two things have come of this though: I realise I am more conscious about who I now choose to hang out with and the ‘new’ people in my life are people I AM prepared to share my reality with. And, the ‘old’ people in my life who I have had the courage to share my reality with have only ever been supportive and respectful- even where they didn’t really ‘get it’. Then again, my reality is very much to do with human connectivity and love so perhaps I just consciously created that
@Blair. Interesting how you talk about fewer but higher quality relationships. So true, less is more most of the time.
Seeing your reality your way and not getting sucked into an argument or defence is a hard thing to do, but very valuable. It all shows how fluid life is, as we change our reality changes and that is okay…actually more than okay.
@Ingrid. Yes, interesting point of view, you get what you create
Your attitude about love and connectedness might have something to do with which people you connect with… I might rephrase that…it has a lot to do with who you are being, good that I am one of your friends