The door of the cage is open… Really?!

Today I am pondering.

When you are reading this post I will be on holiday in Vietnam with my youngest daughter, celebrating her 22nd birthday.

And as I am not on holiday yet, today while writing this, I am in the middle of working hard to get it all together before going.
But I am not stressed and pining for the holiday to come quickly, like I used to.

And it is this notion of no longer pining for a holiday anymore that caused me to ponder in case you were asking.
I still like to go away of course but I don’t have that frantic need anymore.

In my long gone past I wanted freedom!
Freedom from oppression.
Freedom to do the interesting things I really wanted to do, in the interesting places I really wanted to be.
And the holidays were it.

How come I needed those holidays so badly?

Who was holding me imprisoned for the rest of the year?

Was I like those birds whose cage door is actually open but don’t fly out?

Was I just moaning about not being free?

Did I actually know what being free meant and did I actually need to learn about freedom?

Do people like me actually need mental gym to learn about freedom?

Yes we do! At least I did!

When John suggested a few years ago that I gave up my job I went into an absolute panic.

It wasn’t because I would miss my colleagues, although they were lovely people, or I would miss the stimulation the work place offered.
It was none of that.
It was the thought of generating my own income AND being totally responsible for the results.
Nobody to blame when the results were not there.
Having to sort out my own problems without a manager to run to.

Deep down I knew I had to cope with all that if I left the work cage and it scared me.

So I didn’t leave the work cage straight away when John opened the door with his suggestion.
I just sat there.

Getting out was too big a stretch and I was sure freedom would take some getting used to.

And I wasn’t wrong.
After I quit and found myself in a big vacuum, it did take me a few years to know what to do with all this freedom.

In hind sight I developed mind gym to get my mind muscles strong enough to keep me on my path to freedom.

During this time I got myself involved with Trek Education and Lifestyle-sailing as a reason to have something to do.
This is how I acted and what I learned. The italics show again my mind gym trainer remarks.

I go;
“Oh no, the computer is down.
John, the computer is down…..”

John comes to the rescue and I look on thinking;

“Why can’t I sort it?
See, I knew being self employed would be too hard for me.
I actually am more a burden than an asset, I even am afraid to talk to the computer guy…
What is the alternative though?
Go back to my job?
Cry in a corner and feeling sorry for myself?
I don’t like all this”
You are just learning, just watch what he is doing and relax.
“Well who is talking?
Relax? I am a nervous wreck.
All this freedom, I cannot cope.
I need to talk to John…
and after my talk I hear the trainer say;
See, it is okay
Just look at your list that you made at the beginning of the week and see what is next.
“List? That list is no good.
I made that list, I am not to be trusted.
I just made all that up, I don’t know if that is what I am supposed to do?
What am I supposed to do?
I need to talk to John… again…
and after my talk I hear my trainer say;
It is okay, everybody makes it up.
Look at your list and if it is done stop and do your house work.
“Housework?
During working hours?”

I hear my trainer go;
Oohh, arrgghhh, count to ten…..1,2,3,4,5…10..
okay I am calm
yes, you are allowed to clean the house during the day if you decide to do so.

You might think I am exaggerating here but that was how it was.
I had these conversations while getting used to freedom and not being told what to do.

The system had me well and truly imprisoned and it has taken me a long time to shake of the shackles and to cope with freedom.

Hence I am so keen on my mind gym.

It has given me the freedom to become more and more like the co-creator I really am, like we all are.

I am going on this holiday because I chose to, not because I desperately need one.

And what a difference that makes.

I know we all have a different perception of freedom.
For the gym purposes; in what area is your freedom hindered?