My cage got rattled!

Posted on July 11th, 2007 by Wilma (9 Responses)

Remember, last week I wrote about the ‘if you had a million dollars’ emails and how they rattled me.

Well the torture didn’t end there.
Of course what I said wasn’t good enough.
Of course in his next email John had to pick on the people (me) focused on spending the money.

So he said: “Those people (me) who took off on a tangent of ‘how to spend the money’ fell into the trap of scarcity thinking (ouch). Their (my) focus was on what they have, might have or don’t have.” (oops)

He went on to say: “This inquiry has nothing to do with ‘having’ but all with who we are ‘being’. Are you ‘being’ a person who lives prosperously like a millionaire?

So he again asked; “What will you do today and who will you be ‘being’, just because you desire it, free from constraints of ’scarcity’ thinking?”

Right, for most of last week I was back to square one, perturbed, disturbed and thinking.
Slowly I realized I was being stopped by ’scarcity’ thinking.
Slowly I realized I had an urgent desire but scarcity was sweeping it very successfully under the carpet.
Slowly I realized that I was not being present to what I want.

So what did I sweep under the carpet?

New Zealand!

This New Zealand!

hans-jennys-forest-at-tutira-june06-007websize.jpg kayaking-whirinaki-8dec06-004websize.jpg northland-hol-june07-260.jpg kayaking-whirinaki-8dec06-024websize.jpg

Twenty five years ago I came from a concrete city in Holland to New Zealand with the above in mind. I saw these kind of pictures and knew I wanted to live there.
New Zealand has proven to be beautiful. It delivers. But at the moment only on holidays.

It doesn’t deliver to me right now where I live!

I live in a suburb surrounded by houses and noise and I am getting considerably more annoyed. But I have been sweeping it under the carpet.

First because of the children, then because of the boat we are building, and then I couldn’t face all the money and trouble that is involved in moving house, so I couldn’t possibly move.

But I visit people living in beautiful spots and on the way home I beat myself up; “why don’t I live like that?”
Where I live right now is no match to my desire; but I am being stopped to do something about it and I am being annoyed.

So this is what was rattled loose.
My old desire about why I came to New Zealand surfaced again AND my being stopped to do something about it was unearthed.

But no more.
We went looking this weekend.
In the rain.
And my heart sang when I saw all those beautiful rural properties.

9 Comments to “My cage got rattled!”

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  1. Beth Webster says:

    Do tell us more about the music in your heart..

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  2. Wilma says:

    For the moment it is like this;
    When your own heart is singing you will notice and you will feel soooo good, but it is a rare thing and not easily discoverd among our daily chores
    Making our heart sing is fortunately our primary pre-occupation but unfortunately not our primary occupation
    Children sing from their heart and we could take more notice of how they do it.

    Beth, I am more interested what makes your heart sing. I know dressing up is one of them, you are beautiful as a fairy, queen and in other festive garments.

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  3. Dan Rogan says:

    Wilma,

    When we were in Queenstown last week I often asked why we too were living and breathing in Auckland. For us it is the relationships and people we share are lives with, however we now desires this to be in a more “natural” part of this beautiful country. We haven’t defined exactly what this location is yet, when we do I will declare it to the universe.
    Have a lovely Day!

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  4. Wilma says:

    I too have lived happily in the suburb for a certain time because it suited my daughters. The trick is too notice when the ties that bind you are loosening and allowing you to move. I guess I became comfortable without noticing that my senses got dulled. Very interesting how we get used to things and forget how it could be.

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  5. Fiona says:

    Wilma – I think sometimes we just forget what’s most important… we get caught up in ’stuff’ (car needs a warrant, must catch up with this friend and so on); or lose ourselves on the ‘treadmill’ (time to go to work, pay the bills, clean, grocery shop)… it’s good to get off some times and take a deep breath and look around… and ‘wake up’ to what’s important.
    We’re lucky to have some land up North, on the Hokianga harbour and each time we visit, it takes my breath away.. and I feel really calm… even if the nearest soya latte is a 20 min drive away!!!

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  6. Fiona says:

    AND… I’m a believer in reaching ‘threshold’… (like when your cage is rattled) and you say no more, that’s it… I need to change!!! Threshold is fabulous!

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  7. Wilma says:

    Yeah Fiona, I agree and it is great to have friends who remind us about smelling the roses and have great properties to do it on. The address up North again is ……, we will bring the wine..

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  8. Loralea says:

    Please be thankful that you live in Australia. My husband and I have been toying with the idea of moving there for quite some time. We think it is beautiful, a real paradise on earth. That said, I’m in desperate need of a change, and since Australia is not possible at the moment, must think of something else. Thanks for this wonderful post, it’s made me realize that I’m not entirely happy and I should make moves to do something about it

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  9. Wilma says:

    Hi Loralea, welcome. It is interesting how our ‘being busy’ silences our listening to our feelings.
    Taking stock needs time and then of course we get the consequences of dealing with our discovery and what to do with our unhappiness.
    I realized that living in Holland didn’t cut it anymore, but boy emigration did cause some moments as well.
    However now I am indeed very happy to live in this beautiful place.
    When I fisrt stumbled across New Zealnd, I too didn’t even know where it was, I thought it was near Greenland! Thanks goodness it is not, it is a lot warmer here in Auckland.

    [Reply]

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