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Change requires observing yourself.

Posted on March 7th, 2007 by Wilma (7 Responses)

Help….observing yourself is harder than it looks.

John encourages us to “observe ourselves”. Because once you know what is so, you can start to change things and eventually shift paradigms. The problem however is this.

I cannot observe myself to find out what is so…….

So how do I get around this problem? Well what about this? I noticed that others around me are also having trouble knowing what is going on in their own world. However I see crystal clear what is going on with them.

Know what I mean?

Here is an example. Friend, part of a couple, feels overwhelmed and complains about having to do the housework. Both are actually too busy to do the housework. She feels he should help, he refuses as he wants to play when he is off. She gets stubborn. There is no observing going on, just stuckness.

Now here comes me. I see clearly what is going on; just get a cleaner!

Now this is the beauty!

Their situation triggers something in me. I see something familiar. I too get overwhelmed and then get annoyed. Aha!!!!!!

I can observe myself by looking at other people and then see a reflection of me.

It goes like this: another woman has lipstick on her teeth, I see it, think “oh no”, rush to the mirror and “oh yes”, lipstick on my teeth.

After seeing enough other women with lipstick on their teeth, I now take care to prevent it.

So, people, please behave badly when I am around. That way you accelerate my paradigm shifting.

Observing can accelerate your paradigm shift and can do a lot to your skills levels. Click on skills to see what Trek Education has to say about skills.

7 Comments to “Change requires observing yourself.”

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  1. Beth Webster says:
    March 7, 2007 at 9:27 am

    When I see/hear others doing awful things, I do think: Thank goodness I havn’t done that for – how long..?
    And so I often take care to use a very quiet voice and apologise, B4 I speak too honestly…

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  2. Wilma says:
    March 7, 2007 at 12:20 pm

    Oh Beth, so true….. it is so easy to judge instead of seeing it as an opportunity to learn or being grateful it is not you who is making the faux pas this time. At least I won’t be scared in your company with such an attitude and you always will be a welcome guest…so you can expect an invite on our boat when we are cruising the Bahamas.

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  3. Zac says:
    March 8, 2007 at 12:08 am

    Interesting idea Wilma – I’ll observe that. This concept of seeing things, either positive or negative, in others is also called projection – yeah?

    I suppose the other thing is if we can see what is ’so’ in others perhaps they can see what is ’so’ in us…SO…we could be bold and courageous and say “Oi others – what do you see is so in me?!”

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  4. Wilma says:
    March 8, 2007 at 8:23 am

    Hey Zac, I feel that projection is more observing with coloured glasses on and interpreting things you observe according to your views. And I noticed when I do that it still doesn’t give me a lot of insight how I could do things differently.
    When we are so bold and courageous to say the poetic (well done poet Zac) “Oi others – what do you see is so in me” they have to be courageous and loving as well to come forth with their views.
    Thanks for your graffitti, Zac

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  5. Wilma says:
    March 9, 2007 at 9:24 am

    Thanks everybody for their comments via email about this observing business. I am sharing my own turbulations here without any suggestion that this is the truth or how it is for everybody. If something hits me, I share it here. As you might have noticed lots of things hit me and if it resonates with you than that is great. What hit me this time was by looking at other people without judgement but seeing how they get themselves in some kind of negative spin about things had me reflect back about where that could happen to me. It offered a learning moment for me.
    And if you don’t want to behave undesirable in my company, great. I can learn from good behaviour too.
    I do appreciate your contributions, so thanks very much for caring to share.
    love Wilma

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  6. Beth Webster says:
    March 14, 2007 at 9:44 am

    Yippee ! Can’t wait for my trip to the Bahamas. Last invitation I knew was for my old (and very spinster!) friend who’d been invited by Princess Margaret to share her (own) island in the Caribbean (after she had taught me to emphasise the RIBB part of Caribbean!) Friend wouldnt go bec Pr Margt was always so self centred and demanded high entertainment, with lots of the then becoming naughty assistants to get high… I still prefer those areas U call intangible for my best highs!

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  7. Wilma says:
    March 14, 2007 at 1:38 pm

    The current messages all indicate that most of our good feelings have no correlation to our materialistic wealth or our circumstances and maybe your Pr Margt story is an example of that. You can choose to be miserable OR happy wherever and whatever you are.
    So does that mean we could be cheap drunks???
    I do insist on tasting Bollonger (if that is how you spell it)once in my life.

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