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Is there hope for mums yet?
In the 1980 I left Holland convinced Rotterdam was the most boring city in the world.
It had its center and culture destroyed in the war and new buildings eracted, while the rest of Europe and Holland preserved their beautiful exciting old buildings.
As a result I felt that I was living in the ugliest and most inferior city of all and I was always slightly embarrassed to admit that I lived in
Rotterdam, a city snubbed by tourists.
How annoying!
So there was no love lost when I emigrated to New Zealand.
But you can guess what happened when I arrived in Auckland in the 80’s. The shock when I saw this city.
However the volcanoes, the beaches and the Waitakeres made up for its dreariness and I never felt inferior living in Auckland.
Then this year I went back to Holland. And visiting Rotterdam was certainly not high on my agenda. Who wanted to visit that city?
However my sister ignored my protests and took me on a tour.
And what did I see?
Nothing compared to my childhood image. I saw a sophisticated, modern and lively European cosmopolitan city, where the old and the new AND boats were all beautifully integrated.
So something shifted and my childhood inferiority moved on!
All this got me thinking! Is there hope for mums yet?
Can the same thing happen between children and parents?
Will travelling through life eventually allow my daughters to see their mum as a competent person and have them give up their current unflattering inferior image? Hmmm, I cannot wait.
2 Comments to “Is there hope for mums yet?”
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Hi Wilma … finally got around to catching up on all the fine info you and John have sent me. … just wanted to comment on “Hope for Mums Yet”, since my children are now 43, 41, 38 and 21. I had a difficult relationship with my mother (a single parent), who was controlling and had stifling expectations; therefore I made a conscious choice not to treat my own children the same way. I found that when they were younger, they did indeed have a view of me that conformed more with society’s censure of my irregularities, but that over the years, as I persisted with my own growth and encouraged theirs, they have all come to be close and caring friends. They all tell me they love me and treat me respectfully; they listen to my advice and sometimes even ask for it! I’m delighted to have such good friends as my family … just as I’m happy that my extended family contains good friends like you and John! love and hugs, Carla
Dearest Carla, thanks so much for sharing your mother experience. Isn’t it funny how we get put into a mother role and if it doesn’t fit we don’t fit. It is really hard not to give in and feel bad about being who you are. It is great to get encouragement from you to persist in being who I am, in the end we will all shine. I read about your story going to India, a real experience… I do appreciate your feedback, lots of love and hugs from me and John of course.