Courageously choosing for this environment has done miracles for me. Pukeko birds on our driveway.
Learning to live a sustainable different lifestyle is a scary business and paying attention to the environment you are in, is imperative if you really want to learn and become the change you want to see.
Why am I saying this?
Because we all have book cases full of books with exciting content about how we can live a joyful and healthy life; so why then are many of us NOT living that promised healthy and free life?
Or when we are seriously trying to change are we having a joyful exciting ride or do we find ourselves engaged in a fearful and difficult business, often taking one step forward and going back two?
So what is going on?
To explain that let me introduce how learning works based on ‘The Biology of Belief’ by Bruce Lipton Ph.D.
Bruce explains that our environment is crucial to learning and he developed this concept from his work in cell biology.
THIS is the food nature provides for us, if we let it. Our broccoli.
Last Monday my post was about how; ‘I believe in the power of the individual, YOU‘ where I suggested that “Our current crisis was created by each of us acting independently and establishing a personal and professional lifestyle that was environmentally deaf, dumb and blind.”
Change is upon us, the Aquarius era is dawning, there is no stopping that but Erin observed;
We are in transition, yet we don’t want to be. It seems safer if everything remains the same and we know what to expect.
Evita Ochel too can see the resistance to change;
I know that our world does not support “different” – in fact it doesn’t just ignore it, it makes whoever is trying to be different and enact a change know that it is not welcome.
Desiring isolated beaches requires letting go of fear of rocks and surf.
The world as it stands is not geared to make desires the vocal point of our lives, is it?
Desires are different beasts and differ hugely from everything we have learned about success and goals.
Desires are delicious anticipations of great things to come.
Many of us experienced the feelings of desire when we were children looking forward to Christmas, birthdays and holidays.
As an adult many of us have remained at that ‘childish’ level of desire, looking forward to ‘things’ , but the difference is that once we got what we desired we still were left with feeling unfulfilled.
But once we allow desires to mature from that initial child level they become more like a ‘calling’.
I now prefer the word ‘calling’ over desire as it better describes how adult desire works, it calls us forward.
Saying that I have a ‘calling’ for my return to nature feels more accurate.
‘Calling’ also makes more sense when I look at how my ‘calling’ is taking shape. It is not always fun and I never really associated letting go and having faith and being scared stiff with the word desire from my childhood and for some time that had me confused.
John and I working towards our desire to be warm.
On the Monday’s post; ‘She has no desires only goals‘ I described how my daughter is typical of so many of us; she has been taught to be goal focused, is achieving goals and yet lives an unfulfilling life where her unique personal desire and passion are missing. I too was once doing just the same, appearing successful but failing to love my life, until now that is.
Why might we choose ’safe’ goals over ‘unknown’ desires? Jenn shared her own experience of how her desires did not go to plan;
I stopped desiring things after an incident in my past where I made plans (full-out passionate plans) and then it got turned on me… I didn’t want to believe, and hope and desire again to that fullness… because I assumed it would be taken away again, and that was a lot of wasted good quality energy.
We all have seen our desires come to grief and leave us thinking we won’t do that again; lets play small instead. Little Voice then has the chance to come up with all kinds of justifications such as Jenn went on to share;
Nature and me, both here on my blog and on Robin's blog, desiring real food.
I have a guest post today on Robin Easton’s blog and it fits beautifully with all the posts on intimacy and LOVE and what it means when I observe that my daughter doesn’t have a life.
It means my daughter is pursuing goal after goal with no real desire where to take her life. She is missing out on a life that is rich with diverse experiences and LOVE and she is fooled into thinking that distractions like holidays and material things are her desires.
I know how hollow life is that follows a predictable pattern, I once lived like that too and I was as Peggy Nolan said in her comment “a rat running around in a cage going nowhere“ until it finally dawned on me;
But damn it, I am NOT a rat, I am a creative being with a purpose who should follow her growing personal desires with actions of Love.
Within purpose I can achieve goals, but goals on their own are like dead end railroad tracks, useless for expansive travel plans.
When I was thirty I had it all but was bored. Ironically I worked in career counseling assisting people to find their desires and how to make them come true. How ironic indeed.
In this Monday’s post; Ego rejects love and intimacy I began by sharing my reaction to hearing that my brother was reading my blog. I then went on to share my inner thoughts and observations of my relationship with my daughter and how intimacy so easily vanishes as ego dominates our conversation and activities -or the lack of it- with its fears and primary need to protect it’s own agenda.
We all know the story of the emperor with no clothes on, a story which so beautifully shows how our egos go to great length to keep up appearances and how avoidance of intimate sharing out of fear can keep a ridiculous situation in place. That fairy story sounds unbelievable but is it really?
Your comments, especially Tess, Peggy and Mark all echoed Jannie Funster’s assertion that;
The ego and love and intimacy do not mix.
This wonderful intimacy is soon to be rejected by ego.
My brother recently confessed that he ‘secretly‘ reads my blog?!
WHAT?! However I ’secretly’ thought straight away; “O hell, did I write anything compromising?”
WHAT?!
NO wonder that our closest friends and family do NOT read our blogs, when it solicits these reactions. I panicked and my brother obviously felt as if he has done a dirty deed AND that when nobody did anything wrong. Having got over my first fright I love having my brother read my blog; “hi Peter, I love seeing you here!”
But what was going on?
What went on is the result of the fact that the ego hates intimacy and resists it at all cost. THAT was what happened.
I’d say the ego is doing that for a good reason though.
Intimacy is Love-in-action.
Love makes you pay attention, love has you being present to whom is in front of you and the ego knows that intimacy means someone is getting too close for comfort.
The ego knows it is in danger of having its cover blown, having its underlying selfish, dishonest agenda exposed and therefore the ego resists love and intimacy.
Learning to be a captain can be tiring.
On this Monday’s post; Allow yourself to be lovable and shine I argued the case for us to become strong basecamps and how important it is that we captain our own Life first and then we can become a leader for our family. Being captain is no longer the prerogative of men, times are changing and with that the need for everyone, women and men alike to accept the responsibility of being our own captains on our own life voyage. We need to start learning to think and act from our own inner indigenous power.
This is easy to say, but as Dorothy shared very challenging to embrace in daily life. Dorothy’s experience was one of;
Let us strong women captain our boat, we can do it!
Since I have become a strong basecamp, my relationships are flourishing and so am I.
My children no longer can give me grief even if they still do not behave greatly under my ex-husband’s disruptive influence.
I am no longer bending over backwards, taking all the blame and responsibility feeling everything is my fault. I am no longer confused and at the mercy of circumstances; I have seen my martyrdom behavior for what it is – manipulative and ineffective – and thus I AM free to love myself, be lovable and shine.
I worked hard to be able to behave this way and it has been worth every penny and every minute.
I learned that equipping myself and giving up misguided behavior like martyrdom was the biggest favor I could have done to myself and anybody else in my life, my erratic ex included, although he may never realize this.
John being Love-in-action because I am lovable of course.
What a glorious abundant love-in-action flowed from your comments on this Monday’s post; Are we lovable enough to attract love?
I absolutely adored the level of honesty that shone through in your comments. It is only through honesty that we get closer to the wholesome ‘what is so’ of our lives. Your honesty is such a loving contribution as we all get a chance to reflect on our own wholesome ’what is so’ when we read each other’s comments.
In particular I’m acknowledging the honesty of Dorothy and Joyce who echoed Michaele’s observation of how difficult it is to be love-in-action;
it can be hard to remember in the thick of things… and easy to forget.. and sometimes I find myself wondering how to *be* love-able in my current situation.
The honesty didn’t stop there as Tess shared;
as soon as I’m off kilter I find myself attacking hubs for no reason at all.
With Chris Edgar following up with a telling observation of human beings;
Are they lovable enough to attract Love?
Living in nature, in this Garden of Eden is a bit ironic and quite confronting for me at the moment. The abundance, the Love it offers is in very sharp contrast with how I experience Ego-land, the world of humans.
All I see is hunger for nutritious, honest food, hunger for a purpose and the worst hunger of all, the lack of Love.
Let’s face it, who feels totally loved today? Because if we did, we would all be living in ‘Heaven on Earth’ as Love is the key.
To live in ‘Heaven on Earth’ we need to do as the Romans do when in Rome, which is to be lovable, to be Love-in-Action and attract through love.
That brings me back to my migration metaphor, are we acting like the Romans when in Rome?
Can we do Love-in-action? Are we lovable?
Tess what do you think of my hair? Honestly?
My heart sang with the honest sharing in this Monday’s post; ‘How I got to Honesty‘. YOU shine!
It sang to me because you too felt the need to be honest with yourself first and in particular with your feelings.
Chris Edgar gave a fine example of honesty by paying attention to what he is actually feeling;
the first and biggest step toward honesty for me has been actually paying attention to what I’m feeling, rather than what I’m “supposed” to feel in a given situation
He went on to say that feeling angry when being cut off while driving is a learned, ’supposed to have’ feeling, especially for males. Chris’ honesty had him realize that he did not feel anger and I’ll agree; not feeling angry does not take away maleness and it sure is time we all get that! Go Chris go.
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