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Rusty, our cat died this weekend.
She was the sweetest yet most verbal cat I’ve ever come across.
Because she had so much to say, she played a big role in our life.
She was very wise, our little cat.
She took life as it presented itself, she showed us how to relax and be peaceful; but above all else she knew a lot about love.
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 Rusty, a balm for wounded hearts. |
That was very clever of her because if you don’t have love, no matter what else there is, it will never be enough.
This makes having a wounded heart a serious matter indeed.
To never feel satisfied, to never feel you have received enough because your wounded heart is not up to dealing with love, is a nasty life sentence in my book.
Isn’t it true that above all else we want love?
Isn’t it love that colors our world, what makes it beautiful, what has us to whistle while we work, what unearths our brilliance, our talents and our beauty?
Isn’t it love that has us live a life WE choose and has us pursue all we possibly can?
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Follow your heart, create your dreams, go for it, you can do it!
Such a great message, such a wonderful promise. These messages should get me excited, shouldn’t they?
They should have me racing off into the direction of my dreams, shouldn’t they?
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 Making a heart on Bethells beach while my heart sings. |
Did they and was I on my way?
No, I did NOT race off and no, I was NOT excited!
Even when I got as far as the start line, I had no idea what direction to race off into.
I hate to admit it, but for most of my life I couldn’t find my dream, my purpose in life and I could NOT race off powerfully mowing down every obstacle on the way.
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Gloria Steinem once eluded to the fact that “Any woman who chooses to live like a full conscious human being, looking beyond what is currently so, will need her sisterhood to keep her on track.”
So true.
I too believe that everybody who wants to tackle becoming a fully conscious human being, needs support, big time.
How come? |
 Wilma and Ann-Marie, and yes we are working! The WomenLikeMe way of course! |
Because the status quo and your familiar patterns will worry and wonder where you are off to, when you go for full human beingness.
They have no idea what you are doing and thus will reel you back in when they think you venture out too far.
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I love Malcolm Gladwell and his book ‘Outliers’.
It all started with reading the investigations into why the Korean pilots crashed so many planes.
You can imagine that they wanted to know . . .
It was the black box AND a linguist that solved the mystery in a most unexpected way.
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 No crash here in NZ and I now know why it is not likely to happen either! |
This story gave me an insight into an unusual connection.
That is why his book so beautifully compliments my quest for questions.
You see, Malcolm obviously loves to enquire too and I am excited when I read what he comes up with.
“The premise of Outliers is to have us think about the world differently and by digging down deeper to come up with another set of explanations that can have a profound effect on how we see and do things.
The bonus here is that different sets of explanations give us a wider understanding about what is happening to us. This gives us the knowing that the future can be better than the present and we have the power to make it so.
That’s such an amazingly hopeful and uplifting idea.”
Hearing him say this is music to my ears!
I too am absolutely fascinated by finding new explanations that can make such a difference.
So what was it in the story in Outliers about Korean plane crashes that blew me away and showed me the extent of how this explanation can make to difference to us women.
We all know about busy.
It’s a constant complaint women have and yet I ask myself “Are we really that busy?”
I mean, are we really as overworked and overwhelmed as we say we are?
It is a myth that we women can talk well about anything and everything as by birthright.
I mean we can chat very well but what about that real talking, that real valuable sharing that will get us somewhere?
I don’t think we do it naturally; I personally had to learn how to do that kind of real talking.
Part of doing things differently is keeping my thoughts at home and be more conscious of what I do with my thoughts.
I am busy with lots of things to do.
Like most of you.
Most of us work, have properties to look after, have relationships, are busy with sports, children and other numerous activities that demand our time, attention and efforts.
I have more than enough on my plate than to think about things that are none of my business.
Doesn’t it make sense then to be careful with where I put my energy and how I choose my thoughts?
I have a real fear of going into the unknown, which is quite a handicap if you want to do things differently.
The fear for the unknown shows in my fear for mazes; I hate mazes.
The good ones where you really cannot see where you are going freak me out completely.
I normally avoid these kind of things as I prefer to stay well within the boundaries of my capability and comfort. |
 standing on the edge |
One day however I got completely caught out by the unknown.
When you see a woman with a piece of green stuck in her teeth, can you resist to check yours?
The same goes for when I see women act in a certain way.
I immediately see myself reflected and think “Oh no!”
It happened last week.
I saw unnecessary sacrifice and it triggered my buttons hugely.
How many of us are doing this and how much do we wreak havoc with it?
In these difficult times when wars are raging and money worries drive people spare, people want to do something.
They protest, they have angry shouting matches and wind themselves up.
They create aggression as a response to bad circumstances.
Ignoring seems callous but fighting aggression with angry talk is not me.
So I ignore the urge to do something too until through my questioning I came upon Joe Vitale explaining Ho’oponopono.
It fitted beautifully with my understanding that when I desire a different world I have to act differently.
This is Joe’s story;
“Two years ago, I heard about a therapist in Hawaii who cured a complete ward of criminally insane patients–without ever seeing any of them. The psychologist would study an inmate’s chart and then look within himself to see how he created that person’s illness. As he improved himself, the patient improved.
“When I first heard this story, I thought it was an urban legend. How could anyone feel that responsible for other people’s deeds, how could anybody heal others by healing himself?
“Yet I couldn’t let it leave my mind.
I had always understood “total responsibility” to mean that I am responsible for what I think and do.
Beyond that, it’s out of my hands. I think that most people think of total responsibility that way.
We’re responsible for what we do, not what anyone else does–but that’s not so and I found out more when I met him.
How would it be adopting out your son, knowing that you will never know him?
How would it be having kept your adoption a dark secret and then having a doctor ask you if you have had a pregnancy before?
How will life be with these dark secrets?
Ever wonder why there are glass ceilings for women, why we have different insurance policies, why men barge ahead and make decisions after having tried to get an answer out of us and maybe that is why there still isn’t world peace . . . .
On my questioning quest I had Humberto Maturana’s theories explained.
Humberto Maturana explains legitimacy in a very interesting way and his explanation sheds a lot of light on how *being legitimate* effects how we act to others, how others act toward us and how violence and wars can exist.
Practical as I am, I love these explanations that give you a great insight and then I am interested in how legitimacy effects my daily life.
You might have guessed that I have discovered that it impacts hugely, because I am writing about it right now.
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