Until we meet again.
YES, I am quitting, I have to walk my talk.
Life for me is being Love-in-Action. Life for me is being in-integrity and authentic. Life is about paying attention and adding value. Life for me is being congruent and doing what I love. Life for me is connecting with Source and all that is, which includes you.
WomenLikeMe is about all those things as well.
I have spend 7 years cleaning up my environment so my conscious and unconscious mind with all its unserving beliefs had a chance to align and I had time to learn to act from Love and integrity in all things I do.
In those years I focused on the incongruencies in my life and the toxins of my own mind that had me behave in those out-of-integrity, destructive and fearful ways.
I learned that unconscious minds do not give up that easily and that we all have an incredible invisible power steering our lives without us knowing. Our unconscious mind is an incredible amount bigger than our conscious mind. Our conscious brain is the size of a pea in comparison with our unconscious mind.
The fact is that we all need our huge unconscious mind, we cannot function without it. It let us drive the car far more effectively than our conscious mind can; just remember how difficult it was when you were consciously learning to drive one.
Our unconscious mind in and by itself is not wrong though; it would have worked fine if it was programmed in a non-toxic environment that had pristine original divine thoughts about life as a foundation. Unfortunately it is not, it is programmed with a whole lot of crap that unconsciously steers me the wrong way on many many occasions.
The fallacy of changing your beliefs is that you cannot change anything when you continue to live unprotected in the very toxic environment that made your unconscious ’sick’ in the first place; hence my interest in detoxing my mind AND environment together.
Courageously choosing for this environment has done miracles for me. Pukeko birds on our driveway.
Learning to live a sustainable different lifestyle is a scary business and paying attention to the environment you are in, is imperative if you really want to learn and become the change you want to see.
Why am I saying this?
Because we all have book cases full of books with exciting content about how we can live a joyful and healthy life; so why then are many of us NOT living that promised healthy and free life?
Or when we are seriously trying to change are we having a joyful exciting ride or do we find ourselves engaged in a fearful and difficult business, often taking one step forward and going back two?
So what is going on?
To explain that let me introduce how learning works based on ‘The Biology of Belief’ by Bruce Lipton Ph.D.
Bruce explains that our environment is crucial to learning and he developed this concept from his work in cell biology.
THIS is the food nature provides for us, if we let it. Our broccoli.
Last Monday my post was about how; ‘I believe in the power of the individual, YOU‘ where I suggested that “Our current crisis was created by each of us acting independently and establishing a personal and professional lifestyle that was environmentally deaf, dumb and blind.”
Change is upon us, the Aquarius era is dawning, there is no stopping that but Erin observed;
We are in transition, yet we don’t want to be. It seems safer if everything remains the same and we know what to expect.
Evita Ochel too can see the resistance to change;
I know that our world does not support “different” – in fact it doesn’t just ignore it, it makes whoever is trying to be different and enact a change know that it is not welcome.
The power of good food. Nature provides, believing in us. Some of our winter lettuces.
When I say that we and the earth are in transition, I am not telling you or myself anything new.
I have NOT resisted the words below BUT instead of propelling me into action, they had always left me confused, frustrated and guilty because what was I supposed to DO?
These are the words that used to get me so worked up;
I believe in the power of the individual and I believe in the importance of our acting responsibly as individuals without waiting for the right leader or group. In actuality, it’s the power of the individual that leads the way.
Every one of the current critical problems has been created by us humans over a relatively short period of time. By “us” I don’t mean large groups or global populations acting in concert. This disaster has been created by individuals acting independently. By “us” I am referring to you, me, our spouses, each of our children, our grandfathers, our grandmothers, our cousins… Our current crisis was created by each of us acting independently and establishing a personal and professional lifestyle that was environmentally deaf, dumb and blind.
You can stay deaf, dumb and blind or become open to the many wonderful new things that are here for you to hear, talk about and see.
(Quoted from Perelandra; Garden Workbook II by Machaelle Small Wright.)
This adventurous stray rooster following his calling for a new home, obviously has faith.
In Monday’s post; ‘Having faith to LET GO‘ I suggested that pursuing our desires was more than our childlike desires of wanting new things for Christmas or a romantic holiday in the sun, but something as Megan Bord and Jan Lundy recognized; it is our soul calling us to act, calling us to have the faith to LET GO and LEAP.
Aysel in her usual eloquent way named the dilemma for many of us when she explained her situation;
I loved the “half-pregnant” analogy – and that’s exactly my problem. I long for change yet I am terrified to leave the security and comfort I currently have. Happy or not – as long as secure….this life stance implanted in me by my parents is not easy to outgrow. So I set one foot towards change but the other foot stays motionless until I feel it’s absolutely safe to take this step. Waiting for the right circumstances which might never come. We can engage in this self-deceit that we are in the preparation stage, keep finding excuses for delays, but the sad truth is many of us never have the guts to complete the step. Defeated we crawl back into our dark cave thinking “maybe next time…” And of course there are always “circumstances” to blame, never ourselves.
Desiring isolated beaches requires letting go of fear of rocks and surf.
The world as it stands is not geared to make desires the vocal point of our lives, is it?
Desires are different beasts and differ hugely from everything we have learned about success and goals.
Desires are delicious anticipations of great things to come.
Many of us experienced the feelings of desire when we were children looking forward to Christmas, birthdays and holidays.
As an adult many of us have remained at that ‘childish’ level of desire, looking forward to ‘things’ , but the difference is that once we got what we desired we still were left with feeling unfulfilled.
But once we allow desires to mature from that initial child level they become more like a ‘calling’.
I now prefer the word ‘calling’ over desire as it better describes how adult desire works, it calls us forward.
Saying that I have a ‘calling’ for my return to nature feels more accurate.
‘Calling’ also makes more sense when I look at how my ‘calling’ is taking shape. It is not always fun and I never really associated letting go and having faith and being scared stiff with the word desire from my childhood and for some time that had me confused.
John and I working towards our desire to be warm.
On the Monday’s post; ‘She has no desires only goals‘ I described how my daughter is typical of so many of us; she has been taught to be goal focused, is achieving goals and yet lives an unfulfilling life where her unique personal desire and passion are missing. I too was once doing just the same, appearing successful but failing to love my life, until now that is.
Why might we choose ’safe’ goals over ‘unknown’ desires? Jenn shared her own experience of how her desires did not go to plan;
I stopped desiring things after an incident in my past where I made plans (full-out passionate plans) and then it got turned on me… I didn’t want to believe, and hope and desire again to that fullness… because I assumed it would be taken away again, and that was a lot of wasted good quality energy.
We all have seen our desires come to grief and leave us thinking we won’t do that again; lets play small instead. Little Voice then has the chance to come up with all kinds of justifications such as Jenn went on to share;
Nature and me, both here on my blog and on Robin's blog, desiring real food.
I have a guest post today on Robin Easton’s blog and it fits beautifully with all the posts on intimacy and LOVE and what it means when I observe that my daughter doesn’t have a life.
It means my daughter is pursuing goal after goal with no real desire where to take her life. She is missing out on a life that is rich with diverse experiences and LOVE and she is fooled into thinking that distractions like holidays and material things are her desires.
I know how hollow life is that follows a predictable pattern, I once lived like that too and I was as Peggy Nolan said in her comment “a rat running around in a cage going nowhere“ until it finally dawned on me;
But damn it, I am NOT a rat, I am a creative being with a purpose who should follow her growing personal desires with actions of Love.
Within purpose I can achieve goals, but goals on their own are like dead end railroad tracks, useless for expansive travel plans.
When I was thirty I had it all but was bored. Ironically I worked in career counseling assisting people to find their desires and how to make them come true. How ironic indeed.
In this Monday’s post; Ego rejects love and intimacy I began by sharing my reaction to hearing that my brother was reading my blog. I then went on to share my inner thoughts and observations of my relationship with my daughter and how intimacy so easily vanishes as ego dominates our conversation and activities -or the lack of it- with its fears and primary need to protect it’s own agenda.
We all know the story of the emperor with no clothes on, a story which so beautifully shows how our egos go to great length to keep up appearances and how avoidance of intimate sharing out of fear can keep a ridiculous situation in place. That fairy story sounds unbelievable but is it really?
Your comments, especially Tess, Peggy and Mark all echoed Jannie Funster’s assertion that;
The ego and love and intimacy do not mix.
This wonderful intimacy is soon to be rejected by ego.
My brother recently confessed that he ‘secretly‘ reads my blog?!
WHAT?! However I ’secretly’ thought straight away; “O hell, did I write anything compromising?”
WHAT?!
NO wonder that our closest friends and family do NOT read our blogs, when it solicits these reactions. I panicked and my brother obviously felt as if he has done a dirty deed AND that when nobody did anything wrong. Having got over my first fright I love having my brother read my blog; “hi Peter, I love seeing you here!”
But what was going on?
What went on is the result of the fact that the ego hates intimacy and resists it at all cost. THAT was what happened.
I’d say the ego is doing that for a good reason though.
Intimacy is Love-in-action.
Love makes you pay attention, love has you being present to whom is in front of you and the ego knows that intimacy means someone is getting too close for comfort.
The ego knows it is in danger of having its cover blown, having its underlying selfish, dishonest agenda exposed and therefore the ego resists love and intimacy.
Learning to be a captain can be tiring.
On this Monday’s post; Allow yourself to be lovable and shine I argued the case for us to become strong basecamps and how important it is that we captain our own Life first and then we can become a leader for our family. Being captain is no longer the prerogative of men, times are changing and with that the need for everyone, women and men alike to accept the responsibility of being our own captains on our own life voyage. We need to start learning to think and act from our own inner indigenous power.
This is easy to say, but as Dorothy shared very challenging to embrace in daily life. Dorothy’s experience was one of;
Let us strong women captain our boat, we can do it!
Since I have become a strong basecamp, my relationships are flourishing and so am I.
My children no longer can give me grief even if they still do not behave greatly under my ex-husband’s disruptive influence.
I am no longer bending over backwards, taking all the blame and responsibility feeling everything is my fault. I am no longer confused and at the mercy of circumstances; I have seen my martyrdom behavior for what it is – manipulative and ineffective – and thus I AM free to love myself, be lovable and shine.
I worked hard to be able to behave this way and it has been worth every penny and every minute.
I learned that equipping myself and giving up misguided behavior like martyrdom was the biggest favor I could have done to myself and anybody else in my life, my erratic ex included, although he may never realize this.
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